Warning: this post contains some graphic post surgery images.
Seriously, what the (*@# happened? I’m not sure quite how I got here today…… I don’t remember much of the last few days. If you missed Brett’s post about my surgery you can read it here. I’m so overwhelmed by the outpouring of support of love I’m kind of in a place of shock. Yes I have a very public blog, but it’s not meant to be “spotlight on Ashley”…..and that I have a hard time with. Thank you all so much for the encouragement and prayers…..especially for my family. I was unconscious and sedated….my family are the ones that had to go through the trauma of wondering whether I’d make it out of the operating room and an emergency hysterectomy decision.
Anyways, I want to be clear that this story isn’t about me…..I’m not looking for sympathy. This story is for everyone that’s ever been through a traumatic, unexpected surgery or may have one at some point in their life. This story is about relinquishing fear and letting go of anger. My surgery on Friday was supposed to be pretty short and straight forward….and now I kind of look like I went through a blender.
My hands and wrists are bruised from needles and transfusions:
I’ve got an 8 inch scar running straight up and down my swollen abdomen now. The worst part? This is going to sound silly, but I have this issue with belly buttons. I can’t stand them……and they sewed right through mine, it’s all I can think about!
All I remember is going into surgery thinking: I’ll be out in an hour and on my way home. The next thing I remember is waking up in a dark room with a tube in my mouth unable to talk. That was the next morning….and I knew something was wrong. No one had to tell me I had a hysterectomy….I overheard the nurses while I was still under sedation. My family all came in looking scared and relieved at the same time.
I had it easy….I had no idea what my family went through. My father-in-law wrote out the entire sequence of events so I would know the whole story:
At 3pm, I was all ready for surgery. The resident doctors and anesthesiologists did their final reviews and they repeated a blood test for my blood type.
3:15pm: Dr. R came in and discussed that they were going to do a laparoscopy procedure to look at the uterus, fluid in the abdomen and then the decision would be made whether or not a D&C could be performed. I remember asking if they might have to take my uterus out again….and he like the other doctors said it would be like a 0.1% chance of that happening. I don’t know why I kept asking this…..I think I had kind of a premonition that I wasn’t coming out of the surgery fully intact.
At 3:30pm, I went into surgery….and the last thing I remember is laughing and joking with the anesthesiologists. At 3:49pm, Brett got a text from the OR that surgery was starting as expected. So far so good.
Then things went horrible wrong: at 4:15pm Brett got a call from the OR from the doctor saying that I was bleeding in the abdomen and they had no choice but to do a hysterectomy. He had to have the same conversation with 2 other nurses to confirm that he understood what was happening.
Then, there was no word for 2 hours. Brett called my mother and told her she needed to drive into Loma Linda because it was serious. She rode in with Todd (one of my husband’s partners) and Lisa. At 6:30pm, a resident took my mom, Brett and my father-in-law in to explain the surgery. There were 11 units of blood product transferred.
The surgery was finished at 8:30pm and they transferred me to Loma Linda ICU.
At 9pm, Dr. R met with my family and explained that when they had gone into my abdomen the first thing they saw was clotted blood and fresh blood behind the uterus. He tried to remove the blood but as soon as he suctioned it, the blood would immediately refill the abdomen. He tried to control the bleeding but because the uterus thought it was pregnant the bleeding couldn’t be controlled hence the emergency hysterectomy. They removed 4″ x 6″ tumor with my uterus.
There was a team of 15 people in the OR including three faculty gynecologists (one a cancer specialist) and a trauma surgeon. And they all keep saying it’s a miracle that I’m alive….because my body decided to bleed the second I was on the operating room table. Thank you God for having my bleeding start on the table and not at home.
Yep, that’s my bum…..right after chemo shots…nothing hurts quite like a butt shot. And now there’s a picture of my bum in cyberspace…..how’s that to lighten the mood! They decided to give me chemo shots last night when they released me from the hospital. My HCG (pregnancy hormone) levels were 153,000 before the surgery…..and 17,000 after surgery. Next Monday if the levels are below 17,000 they’ll know that this kind of chemo will work and if not they’ll shift to another.
I’m so glad I’m home right now. I would have come home last night regardless of being discharged…..I couldn’t be in that hospital one more second. I had some of the most amazing nurses. The doctors at Loma Linda were amazing and so knowledgeable. Oh yeah, and they saved my life. All throughout the weekend a different doctor would stop by here and there just to say hi….so I got to meet them all and talk about what happened.
It’s taking a while to get back to normal. It takes me a long time to get up and I can’t walk around much. I can only eat about a 1/4 cup of food……oh and did I mention I haven’t had a bowel movement in over a week? TMI….I know…..but it’s all anyone talks about here.
The hardest part of the whole thing was Boo seeing me in the hospital. She was wide-eyed and scared even though I had tried to cover up all my tubes and needles with wraps. I know we’ll get through all of this stronger than we were before. I’m trying to walk everyday a little more so I get stronger and be as self sufficient as I can. That’s all I can do. I’ve got amazing family and friends surrounding me. Talking to the hospital case worker I was heartbroken to hear that some people go home to no one…..no one to pick them up, no one to take care of them when they get home…..no one. How can someone have no one? That opened my eyes immediately to how lucky I am. I survived, I’ll be back soon, and life will go on.
Honestly, I’m heartbroken over my hysterectomy. I don’t want people to think I’m some “steel hearted” woman who moves on too quickly. I know it seems like I moved on from my dad’s death quickly but I’ve thought about 100 times “I need to call dad about my surgery” and then I remember that he isn’t here with us anymore. It comes in waves….but I also realize that what I think might have been my path in life is not necessarily the path that has been set out for me.
I watched the Joy Luck Club twice tonight….and I shouldn’t have because I cried more often than I can count and strained a few staples. This movie always makes me cry. I love this quote:
This one moment would decide for my whole life whether fear would rule or I would. I decided. Underneath I knew who I was. I promised myself never to forget.
All I can do is work to get through today. And then I’ll work on getting through tomorrow. Next, I’ll work on getting through to next Monday when they’ll determine my chemotherapy treatment and that will dictate the next few days. It’s a step by step process. But I’ve chosen not to let fear rule.
Good night! Love to you all!
XOXO,
Ash
oh my girl – oh my. i have only been following along for a short while but i read my mom’s story in between your lines. she went in for kidney stones and came out with a a kidney, gall bladder & grapefruit-sized tumor removed. i feel like for the first time i know a little more about what she might have gone through 9 years ago. thank you for providing this.
… and for also singing praises to God so publicly. He is in the business of Loving us, healing us and accepting our praise. Praise God for the fine work He is doing in you.
your comment was lovely.
Ashley,
My goodness girl. You know I love you right? And that I’ve thought of you everyday? Even my little five year old is remembering to pray for you (and trust me his prayers are the best).
Each and every one of your posts touches my heart. I’ve cried.
And for once, I just do not have the right words…the words to tell you how much I admire you.
xoxo
Tauni
your spirit is simply amazing….that’s all…love to you…..
Ashley, I love your beautiful heart, your beautiful spirit and your beautiful self. Praying for you and your family constantly. Please tell me how I can do more!! Lots of love!
Ashley…Thinking of you. I appreciate you bearing your heart!!! As an L&D/OB nurse in the past…I am so glad you made it. I am so sorry about the hysterectomy….I hope you heal well and kick the rest of the junk out the door quickly.
Love your blog. It reminds me why I started mine at first!!! To share with others my experience so we aren’t all alone!!!
I’ve read your blog for a couple of years now, tried some of your projects and recently bought patterns to make clothes for my daughter; this is the first time I think I’ve ever commented.
Wow.
Your attitude is awe-inspiring. I’m at a loss as to what else to say, except that you are an encouragement to me personally and I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
God bless you.
So glad you are alright and I’m happy you are home. Your outlook on what happened is so positive and inspiring. So many often choose to wallow in self pity and hatred, it is refreshing to hear someone be grateful they are alive and have people. Thinking of you and your family. Feel better!
I can only imagine what you and your family have gone through, but thank God that he was there with the surgeons and had His hand on your uterus until they opened you up so that He could guide their hands to where He needed them most. May He continue to hold you in His hands and comfort and guide you and your specialists as you go forward on your journey!
Stacy
Wow, Ashley. Just wow. I have been praying for you the past week and I am amazed at your strength and dignity throughout all of this. You are such a fighter & your outlook on this is amazing. God has been watching over you throughout all of this. Praying for you and a speedy recovery from your surgery and that your chemo goes smoothly and successfully. LOVE you Ashley!!!!!
Praise the Lord..you are alive, safe and loved! Power in those prayers! Wow, when you get my age and start bragging about past surgery scars, you will definitely be in the top ten! LOL!! You’re one tough cookie and I know God has great plans for you in the future…stay strong and let the ones you love, love on you.
Prayers and hugs.
XO
Nancy from AZ
Ashley,
Wow. You are truly courageous! I know your strength and honesty will most definitely be an encouragement to everyone who reads about this experience. And I love that you are keeping it real and showing a bit of the booty. Continuing to pray for a full recovery!
Much love,
Brooke
Wow, Ashley, this is intense. You are a warrior! You are all woman, roaring! Ha! You are so strong & amazing for keeping such details & relaying them back to the rest of us. Bless your family for their support and your sweet girl. I had surgery last summer to remove four tumors out of my uterus & abdomen area and they thought they got them all, but now they look like they’re back or new ones have appeared & new cysts and well, it’s all super painful & scary. I know the surgery was harder for me than having my baby boy. I was sore for a week & wouldn’t have been able to care for myself or my son without my mom & family. I also remember feeling stressed when my little tot saw me in the hospital, because he knew his mum was hurt and/or that something was off, and it was hard to see his lil face of confusion. I know exactly what you mean about people who have no one, it’s funny, but I talked with someone about that same topic while I was in the hospital & it just baffled me. I couldn’t believe that people take taxis home after major surgeries, are not supposed to walk or drive, are in great pain & have absolutely no one to help. It breaks my heart! Anyway, your bum is cute! LOL! Thanks for sharing & being a major inspiration. I could never keep a journal or blog about my life like you do! You rock! Keep your head up girl! Love & well wishes from Colorado. Namaste.
I understand what you are going through, your story is very familiar to me. You will get through this, take it day by day for now- I know how hard it can be to not be able to do the things you’d like to but you’ll get back there. I will be thinking about you & praying for a speedy recovery. XOXO
Oh Ashley! Praise God for those doctors and nurses! I’ve been following you for so long I feel like I know you and as if you were a friend. I’ve been praying and continue to pray for you and your beautiful family. Thank you so much for this post. Your courage is amazing! To write this post to help others and to share you experiences is awesome. I am one for whom you wrote this and I am extremely grateful. Hold tight and keep your good spirit. God is working and He is an amazing God. Loves! Amanda
P.S. I heart your issue with belly buttons. LOL! 🙂
You are reaching so many people. I, for one, want to thank you for sharing your story and faith.
Hugs.
Dear Ashley,
I am Heather G.’s (Angel Face Designs) mom and I just want you to know that I am praying for you are your family. I pray that God will heal your body sooner than later and that in every day you feel His healing hand on your body, heart and soul. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you or your family, add you to our prayer chain, anything at all.
Much love,
Teri
Wow! What an ordeal!! You are so amazing Ashley! And you have a cute bum too! lol. I’ve had an interesting evening (It’s almost embarassing to admit that it was drama over PTA moms being so crazy about their kids- I almost wanted to blog about it because I swear one moms head was about to start turning in circles!!) It’s nonsense!! You made me stop for a minute to realize there are bigger things in this world. Thank you. I am moving on. I think of you every day and try to apply your Choose Joy philosophy. – clearly sometimes I get lost. You are making a difference in so many peoples lives by sharing your story so openly– so inspiring! hugs, prayers and wishes for a speedy recovery! xoxo
Wow, Ashley–a beautiful post. I’ve been thinking about you ever since the first post about your diagnosis. Prayers for continued strength and recovery. 🙂
God is so good! I have been lifting you and your family in prayer and will continue to do so. You are beautiful and amazing and talented and inspiring to me. I have been reading your blog for a while now and my girls (and me too!) love LBB. Please don’t let this change you one little bit. Maybe a little of the packaging, but not who you are. Stay strong, trust in Him, and He will hold you up and get you through each day. We love you! Hugs and prayers! xoxox your fans in MI.
Praise God! Sending many prayers your way. Thank you for being such an inspirational and uplifting woman of God.
Ashley —
I have been thinking about you non-stop. I love you girl. I am adding my prayers and thoughts to the thousands of others that are lifting you up as you go through this hard time.
Love you!!
xoxo
Jen
Yeah, I have been checking back like crazy for an update since your sweet Mr. Boo posted. God is so AWESOME! Thank you for keeping in touch during this time, I am sure your exhausted. Hugs and prayers continue to go up and out to you and your family. I Good Luck!!
A few months back I was searching through some online recipes & craft ideas when I stumbled upon this website. I’m not normally a girl to say something’s have. Hanged my life but reading your blog and the love you have for your family and just the general outlook that you have on life changed my whole perspective.
Thank you for sharing. Whether it be a tutorial or a recipe or even just a story, thank you.
PS, about your bum being on the Internet, at least it’s a cute one! 🙂
Lots of love,
Leah from upstate NY
Ashley…this is so sad.
Health first!
<3 Ruth
You are a blessing to me. Thank you for being so open with your story. Your words will touch the lives of other women; healing them, comforting them, letting them know they are not alone.
Thank you, Ashley, for being the beautiful, creative, intelligent and loving woman that you are.
Sending never ending thoughts and prayers for you and your family. <3
i am without words tonight as i read this. i feel so incredibly heartbroken for you, but so grateful that you are alive and able to write this post…i’ve been waiting ever since your husbands post.
it is incredible to me how i don’t even know you {in real life} and yet i feel so connected to you and your story. it is amazing this blog world and i am so happy that it is out there and that the power of prayers were answered from all over the world.
you are amazing and i hope that each and every day gets just a little bit easier for you.
You have a cute butt. 🙂
My favorite band ever, Thrice, has a song called “For Miles” and it has this line:
and as long as we live, every scar is a bridge to someone’s broken heart
and there’s no greater love, than that one shed his blood for his friends
That’s what you’re doing. Your scars are helping others, and your faith in that great love is inspiring. Keep your chin up. Get healthy, because I think there are big plans waiting for you. Thank you for sharing your life with us.
Jade
Praying the Methotrexate (I’m assuming that is what you had) works!! Hug your lovies and continue to rest in Him!! I’d still love to talk if you ever feel like it- 360-263-4826. Keep up the amazing spirit…it’s most of the battle!! 🙂
How thoroughly traumatic, and what a blessing at the same time. Definitely tender mercies of the Lord.
And, on a lighter note, I have to say the first BM after my c-section was worse than childbirth… so, I’ll keep praying for you for that too 🙂 Hee hee!
OMG! It looks like you have Stigmata or something!
I just caught up on your story thanks to Heather G. I’m so sorry for what you are going through. I have Endometriosis, and went through years of infertility. Then, woke up from a laparoscopy to learn that they had removed both of my tubes. It’s weird and overwhelming to feel so uninvolved in such a huge thing. Anyway, I really appreciate how you are handling this with grace and humor. I will be praying for you!
Keeping you and your family in my prayers. So much more I want to saybut don’t know how to say it. I’ve been there as the family member waiting thru surgery. I’ve been there at the graveside of my father. So I want you to know that I’m praying for you.
I figured with all the females on the blog commenting I would give a shout out from the ‘fellas’ and let you know we are thinking about you. Stay strong Ash!
been thinking & keeping you in my prayers since friday (even through the 6-7hour time zone!) then monday found out my aunt had a v bad stroke, docs dont know if she will come out of it and when her husband found her like that, he too had a heart attack, so i am asking God: how He is so Great to look after everyone, but also to help us accept his path for us. may He help you too through this and always be by your side.
hugs to you and all your family
Ashley,
I’m so sorry to hear about the hysterectomy but so glad to hear you pulled through the surgery. I hadn’t realised it was a close call. Thank God he is watching over you.
Praying the first round of chemo is the right one and for a speedy full recovery.
Thank you for taking the time to keep us posted. I hope you’re able to have a donut soon.
I’m heartbroken for you and was literally sick when I heard about your illness but I truly believe God has a bigger plan for you…and in Ashley fashion you will ROCK it!
I made it through without crying until you talked about your dad. It’s been two years since my dad passed away and I still have to stop myself constantly from wanting to call him.
Still praying for you.
Ash you precious girl!!
I’ve been on pins and needles waiting for an update from you!
Its just so Awesome to see, even in the mist of this dark valley your going through, Jesus has you safely in the hollow of His hand.
Love you girl!
PS
dont worry..
Your going to be Dropping that bum like its hot in no Time!! 😉
You are amazing and I am very happy to hear you are home and healing.
Ashley- I love that through all of this you are real and funny and strong and vulnerable and every good adjective I can think of.
That quote is amazing- I feel like I need to write it down and tape it to my mirror.
Sending you and your family love, prayers and all the good mushy stuff.
xo,
Mique
P.s. Up for a little Words with Friends while you recover? You’re going down…… 😉
How do you stay so positive? Two ectopics = no fallopian tubes for me. I’m devastated daily. I would love to know how you do it.
You have been through the ringer! Praying for healing and peace and that Boo will feel reassurance. You have been a complete trooper and your attitude reflects that. Hang on tight!
from an Aussie, keep yer chin up, take each day as it comes and accept all the care and love that is offered.
We love you Ash!
– no its not 12:34 am here, its 6 pm 26th Oct- how times flies when you are loved
YOU are simply amazing. And I hope you can poop soon ;-). Sending lots of love. And please, please… take it slow… let your body rest & heal.
You are truly amazing. I hope the chemo will do it’s work!
About your dad …. it is true, it comes in waves (even after 2,5 years).
Big hug for Boo!
Dear ashley, i am happy that you are back again and i feel very sorry for what happend to you- a strong woman with such a joyful life and from one second to the other, things turn so worse! We have to cherish every moment in life, who knows what will happen, so we should be happy and enjoy every day! Be glad that you have such a wonderful family at your sited. I was so touched when your husband explained what happened. I said to myself what a wonderful and caring man you have at your side! I wish you all the best and my prayers are with you. Get well soon! Atika, your friend from Germany
Ashley, I have only been following your blog and business for several months and I must say that you are an inspiration. You are such a strong woman and always try to look to the positive. I am sorry for what you have to face and have been dealing with, but your attitude and strength couldn’t be any better. That, along with your faith and family, will get you through this. I have said prayers for you and hope that everyone’s prayers will make you stronger. Thank you for posting such deep thoughts and feelings through your experience so that you can release those emotions and we can learn from them. God bless you and your family.
Ashley! Sooooo glad to hear from you and soooo glad you are home!!!! Your story happened the way it did, because God had His hand on you the entire way! You have soooooo many prayers lifting you up from thousands of miles away! You *are* an amazing person Ashley! You have an amazing family and set of friends surrounding you because of who you are! We will continue to pray for you as you start your chemo!! Peace and Blessings to you and your family!
Welcome home Ashley…praying for you and your family…
love and healing hugs x
Glad to hear yo are home! I will be praying for you and your family.
Love and strength.
So glad that you are back home with your family and friends and starting to recover from your trauma. I know Boo is scared and doesn’t understand all of what is going on, but down deep she knows Mommy is strong and brave and can fix anything and she loves you. xoxo
P.S. A few of these a day will take care of a lot 🙂 Trust me, they taste good!
Today marks 3 weeks from my emergency surgery for our rupturing tubal ectopic pregnancy. I wasn’t as critical as your situation at all, but sicker than I remember myself to be after hearing from my family and then the post-op visit. I don’t remember much. I just felt like something was taken I hadn’t planned on losing, but remembered that I had it not been taken, had I not gone to the ED when I did the outcome of my life could have been very different.
Some have said I have been too positive or too “ok”. I believe in the power of positive thinking. When the outcome of 2.5 years of infertility left us again with an empty bedroom in back of house, I chose to find thankfulness. I today choose to find things to be thankful for when I find myself getting down.
The first thing I thought of post op was, “what the?!?! What just happened???”. Seems like a foggy, surreal experience that wasn’t ours. Then I thought and still remind myself……
God is good……ALL THE TIME and IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES.
Keep the faith girl!!!
So happy the Loma Linda crew was good to you! I worked side by side with the Trauma team for years in the ED….they are amazing! I knew they would take good care of you when you first posted Loma Linda. I am so happy faculty was there to protect you…albeit, I believe God was in your OR too and angels guided their hands.
God is good….ALL THE TIME
Ashley you are one amazing and courageous woman! Whether you believe this or not you are an inspiration to others which is why I think you were recognized a few months back. Your angel, which I believe is your father, was with you the entire time during this ordeal. God was not ready for another angel because your work here is not done! Thank you for sharing your story … it certainly helps to keep life in perspective that we really need to make the present count for we are uncertain of what our future may hold.
God Bless you and your family. I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers.
Ash,
I can tell you’ve got what it takes and you’re on your way back. Hang in there!
Brian Symonds
To say that you are amazingly strong would be a colossal understatement. Wishing you a fast recovery, if I lived closer and even though you don’t know me, I’d bring you a donut and a diet coke and you could eat it 1/4 of a cup at a time. 🙂
Stay strong… I know you will! xx
So glad you were where you were when things started happening. Everyone deals with grief in different ways. There’s no need to explain the process of yours. I pray you’ll regain your energy soon and healing will take place quickly.
Oh my goodness Ashley! I’m recovering from a double surgery I underwent this past week (incl. hysterectomy) but it was textbook compared to what you have been through. Huge hugs and prayers being sent to you in a big, BIG way. Our bodies are amazing with their ability to heal. It sounds like your spirit is intact. I will be thinking about you as the healing process continues.
Ashley, we are still praying for you and your family. I am so inspired by you. <3
Oh, Ashley. Thinking of you and sending lots of love and healing vibes. Happy your home. Hugs to you and your family.
Pleins de pensées positives pour toi et toute ta famille,
Lots of love
xoxo
Wow. I seriously can’t imagine, and really don’t know what to say.
You’ve been through *#*( and back, that’s for sure, but thankfully you’re alive! Good heavens. I know you must be heartbroken and devastated (to say the least), but it’s still amazing how open and positive you are. I don’t think losing a loved one ever entirely sets in.. it’s easy to forget they’re gone. I hope you can take all the time you you need to physically heal and emotionally… I don’t want to say heal.. but emotionally.. . I can’t imagine what you and your family has been through this year. I really believe there’s some great things in store for you life. You, and your family- from what it seems- seem to touch everyone they meet, and spread joy and hope in tragic circumstances.
If it’s any consolation, sometimes those people might have ‘people’.. just not locally. I know some people have literally no one on earth, but some of us just don’t have anyone nearby. My nearest relative is at least a day’s drive away, and I only know one person around here well enough to even ask to dinner, let alone ask them to take care of me. Everyone who would do that is far away, or really old. I’m guessing it’s that way with other people, too. I like to think that there aren’t too many people who have no one on earth… sometimes we just don’t have local people. 🙂 I would say that it sounds like there are hundreds and hundreds of people online, plus your actual family and friends, that care deeply about you. Not sure how much of a consolation that is, but I’m glad you have such a great family there for you. I don’t know if there’s anything we could do remotely (send donuts?? ha!), but if there is, you’d only need to say the word.
Is it bad that I’m just a smidge jealous of your butt (minus the chemo shots!!!!!)? 🙂
Just wanted to say that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
I am so sorry for what you and your family had to go through but it was really a good thing the way things happened. At the hospital with so many specialists around you.
I had a hysterectomy in May and I can tell you that the medications they give you don’t help with the BM’s at all! I researched it and found http://www.hystersisters.com the women there were so supportive! (They still are!) I also discovered if you take Gas X and a stool softener it does wonders! It takes time to work but boy does it help!
I am praying for you and the family and wish you only the best!
im so glad you have this blog to tell your story on. i wish i would have had one with my sons birth that went all wrong and was told i was lucky to be living. we need a place to tell our story to help us come to terms with it and to start healing. you will need all the support you can get whether its in person, in prayer or in words from a bunch of “followers”. we are here to help you in your worst and to enjoy you when your at your best:)
prayers for you and the family!
You are an inspiration Ashley, each and every time I read a post of yours, I have been given redirection and an appreciation for the little things in life, thank you for sharing your journey, and inspiring us all to sieze the day! Healing thoughts being sent to you!
Hugs and prayers for you still!
Wow. Just…..WOW! I mean really…..WOW!!!!! xo
Ashhhhhhhhhhhhh. I have been anxiously waiting for an update. I am so happy you are home. So happy you are alive. And so happy you are doing as well as you are considering. What a tramatic experience. You are such an amazing woman and I honestly just love you to pieces! My favorite scripture that my mother passed onto me because it is her favorite is 2 Timothy 1:7: “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and a sound mind.” Isn’t that SO good?? It has definitely pulled me through my own heartbreaking situations and I know that God is aware of all of us and our needs. He will and is, without a doubt, guiding you and comforting you. You are amazing and remember that you are a daughter of God with a special purpose in this life! xoxo
Words are not coming to me this morning. I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you. I think about you often— and know that I am sending you good vibes. Keep your chin up and know that just because we have a foggy look intob our future— God’s view is crystal clear and just trust in Him. Many hugs. Wish I could bake you cookies and send them over:)
So good to ‘hear’ your voice this morning. Very happy that you are home surrounded by your family. What better place to gain your strength and prepare for the future! Bask in the love and support you are receiving! You have to realize that people have come to care for you through your blog. In this vast world we have been given the gift of the internet…and now the world is not so big. And let’s face it…women – moms- can’t stand to see one of their ranks hurting. So we have ‘rushed’ to your side to support you. Because that’s what women have always done. We care for one another anyway we can. So…if it’s 2am and fear is trying to creep into your life… remember…someone else in this world is probably awake and praying for you. Lastly – your ‘bum’ pic is great! One day when you’re an old, old woman your grandkids and other little ones from the family will be sitting together by a computer giggling. You’ll ask what’s so funny and they’ll ask you if that’s REALLY your butt!! And you’ll think…wow, my bum was cute!
I will continue to pray for your healing and comfort for your family.
You nailed it girl! What a great comment….no, I really mean it!!
Ashley you are amazing! I’m still thinking about you and your family <3
Thanks for sharing your journey. Even though I am new to your site, your faith and strenghth have touched me and changed my outlook on life. Just know that prayers of faith and belief are going to up to our Father around the clock from around the world. Keep believing and remember we “Team Ashley” folks are checking your site regularly for updates. Choose Joy!
I am just in awe of you and your strength. I’m pulling for you!
Ashley, I’m so sorry for all you are enduring. Having been through some serious med stuff with my family, I get all the poop talk. So my prayer for you today, that you poop a big one (LOL), that you and your husband walk through your grief together and find peace, and that you will be healed and restored quickly. Your courage in the face of this is so inspiring. Thank you for sharing your journey. *cheers – insert clinking champagne glasses of prune juice*
You are truly an inspiration for many women out there. You are amazing, to tell your story in hopes that you can help someone else. I have followed your blog for years, and always thought what an amazing women you were, and now i couldnt imagine being where you are. Thank you for sharing with us. I will continue to pray for you and your amazing family.
Ashley, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. You have chosen not to fear and I know that can make all the difference.
I can’t even imagine what you must be going through. It is so great that you have so many people there to help you. I know that is such a relief to you. You are such an inspiring person in so many ways from crafting to small business, and now I’m just blown away by how well you are getting through this major health crisis. I know you can write only what you want us to know, but I do believe you are working through this as good and probably better than any one can.
Seeing pictures of Boo reminds me of my daughter. Her name is Aubrey and she’s 4, looks just like her daddy with blonde, curly hair & blue eyes, always seems to be doing something, always going. Even her hair is always going! Aubrey likes Boo’s clothes too. She asks me to get some like that for her. I think one time asked to play with Boo. Aubrey loved the Old Navy shopping trip Boo had too.
Anyways, I have been praying for you the past few days through out the day. I’ll be praying for a fast recovery and that you have a break from your trials. I will pray for your family to stay strong and for some extra encouragement to come to you all.
You and your family are in my prayers. Thank you for sharing your story.
there’s always 2 choices in life, to live life through fear or to live life through love and i think it’s pretty obvious the path that you’ve taken. i’ve been stalking your blog like crazy to make sure that you’re okay. i’ve shared your story with my husband, it’s such a learning experience for all just to share this journey with you.
i’m glad that you made it through your surgery ok and i’ll be wishing you a quick recovery!
Ashley,
We’re praying for you and your family here. The Lord is in control, keep giving it all to Him. Being strong is good and letting Him carry you in your weekness is good, too. I’m sorry about the hysterectomy. I know that is not what you were planning on and has it’s own group of difficult issues to heal from. Even so, His plan is good…all good. Keep your focus on enjoying each moment, each day. Before you know it you’ll find your new normal, a good new normal.
In the meantime, your blog is now an encouragement blog and an LBB blog. Both are equally good for you and your readers.
Praying for strenght to heal and comfort for your family from Normal, IL
It is so good to hear from you! I told my family of what is going on in your life and I teared up telling the story! I told my mom it’s amazing how much love and compassion you can have for a complete stranger! But, that is what the love of God can do! He can give you compassion and love for people you don’t even know but yet know that we are sisters in Christ! I LOVE your attitude on everything and relying on your faith to get you through! I know God will not fail you! We tend to fail God but he NEVER fails us! God has given you strength and I am praying daily for you and your family as you deal with this difficult time in your life!
You are an amazing woman. Thank you for sharing with us. You are all in my prayers. God Bless.
Blessings and continued prayers for you and your family. Sometimes I think a good cry is just what we need :). Hugs
It s really a miracle. Thank God for that! I wish you and your family all the best with recovery and everything yet to come. I had a difficult time in 2010, but it kept coming back now and then. Please don’t underestimate the consequences of what you’ve been through (and still are going through) and take time to heal, not just physically but especially emotionally.
Thank you thank you for the update! Been waiting on pins and needles. I think we all got used to multiple posts in one day when you started blogging at the New Home Ec that it’s just second nature to check LBB when I log on.
One thing is sticking with me when you wrote your post. IT’s when you say, “I don’t want to seem like some stone hearted…..”
Do NOT ever ever, let blogland or your thoughts about what people might think, overshadow the strength God has given you to get through this. He gave you the ability to be strong and go through life knowing the answer to why things happen…
Nobody will ever have the right to judge you for “not mourning” publicly or for “moving on” too quickly or any of that nonsense. Don’t you worry for one more second about what people here will think.
In fact when all this happened the last thing I would have thought is, boy…that Ashley over at LBB sure is a stone hearted you know what…..
The first thing I think of is, thank God she is brave enough to share WHY she is so strong (through Him) to the world…bringing others to know the love and PEACE one can have during traumatic things like this.
So much to think about…keep up the fight chick.
Oh I totally cracked up at the lady up there who said “some day when you’re my age and you start talking about your battle scars you’ll be in the top 10!”
Well right there…is your silver lining 🙂
Hey did you ever do a “spiritual gifts” assessment?
I bet you a million dollars that one of yours is the ability to stay calm in emotional experiences. AKA: Strength and having Peace and Understanding
Oh Ashley your story touches me at such a deep level. Please know you and your precious family are continually in my prayers. I am so proud of you and I know your Mom and Dad (even though he’s in heaven in charge of all the golf!) could not be more proud of you. God bless you guys! (I’m Wendy Russells Mom)
Prayers for you I went through colon cancer in 09 and all the chemo that goes with it Its amazing what family can do to get you through!! Take care, you’re amazing!!!
You’ve been through so much in the past few weeks/months! I pray for peace and healing for you. Sending a great big hug your way too. 🙂
Joy Luck Club is Val and my FAVORITE movie!!!! We ALWAYS cry, no matter how many times we watch it. Ash, I hope you are enjoying being at home. We are praying for you every day. I know Perry is on her way out there soon. YAYYY!!!
We love you!
Grace, Eric, and Gavin
Prayers for you and your family 🙂 You are such a strong and beautiful woman 🙂
Ashley,
I just started to follow your blog, but wanted to say how sorry I am for all you have been through. It might sound corny, but there is a say that God does not give us more than we can handle and I think there is some truth to that. I am also very sad to hear about your Dad’s passing…the heart does heal, but there are still days. My mom passed away on Christmas Day 1989 when I was 23. She was the only family I had. I now have a family of my own, but wish every day that she could be here with me. Stay strong and know that you will recover day by day. When you feel up to it, let’s have a virtual Diet Coke cheer!!!
Thanks so much for the honest update of what happened to you. It’s never TMI for us! It’s so beautiful that through everything, you’re grateful for what you have. Love, hugs and kisses to you!
Stool softener, stool softener, fiber, stool softener.
Or, my favorite concoction to give my patients.
Prune juice, MOM heated in the microwave. Then drink.
Keep up the high spirits!
I just want you to know that I think you are an amazing woman. I love how you share your heart including fears & doubts, but also speak of how God gets you through them. I cannot imagine what you & your family are going through right now. You are in my prayers. He writes a different story for each of us & this is part of yours. Use it to His glory! May God continue to bless you.
So beautifully written. Thank you for sharing your heart. Continued prayers for you and your family.
Ashley, let me first say I have been thinking and praying for you. You are so courageous and a true gift to all!! Your spirit has touched the lives of so many people all around the world. Brett, Sienna,your family and friends and all who have had the privilege to know or meet you realize you are a rare gift in their lives. Not too many people could have the strength and power to handle all that has been thrown your way this past year. Your dad is looking down smiling on his baby girl seeing what an amazing women,wife,mother you are. It didn’t happen by chance. You can tell your mother and father passed down their values,faith and love. I am not living your physical pain,suffering and weakness you feel after surgery,but from an outsider looking in,you are by far the strongest super hero I know. Sienna is destined to do great things and follow in the footsteps of her parents. The prayers will keep coming,all of sacred heart is praying for you. And please,let me know if you need any help in the shop. With Ella in afternoon pre-k,I am free from 12:30-5. I would be happy to volunteer!! Keep the faith!!! Marnie
Ashley thanks for being so honest and sharing your story with us. I admire your strength and positive out look. I know from experience how hard it can be, you will get through this and be stronger for it.
Love and Hugs
You are so inspirational. Thank you for sharing your journey so we can all remember how to look for the positive when things get tough. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers daily.
You’re amazing. An amazing woman and an amazing writer. Your strength is truly God given and, Ashley, noone could ever think you were stone hearted, or at least noone who “knows” you. You have come to be someone that I look up to in so many ways, and I thank you for sharing your story with all of us. I know you don’t want sympathy, but that’s what friends are for ~ we love you! When I heard you had to have the emergency hysterectomy, my heart broke for you. But, what a blessing that the bleeding happened when you were already in the OR. Seriously?! God’s timing is incredible. Know that there are a lot of people out here praying for you. Take all of the time you need!
Bless you, Ashley. You are in my thoughts and prayers. You WILL get through this, and will get through this stronger than ever.
Wow, It hurts my heart to hear how much you have been through. You are in my prayers, as well as your family, especially Boo, I know this is rough on her as well. I wish you a speedy recovery, and pray that the chemo does it job. Good luck and God Bless!
I love hearing stories about how amazing God is. Only He could have that timing! I don’t believe in coincidences and I’m so grateful that you came out ok. I got a lump in my throat when I read about the text and call to your husband. I can’t even imagine that kind of limbo where you don’t really know what’s going on.
So happy that you are home! Your family must be relieved to have you back as well.
In 1998 my mother was having gaul bladder attacks….. she didn’t get scheduled for surgery in time and ended up being rushed by paramedics into the hospital almost dead. My dad was overseas and I was gone for the night. She was alone with my 7 year old sister. She spent the next month sick as anything in the hospital because she had developed pancreatitis. It was a terrible time for our whole family, but she came through fine in the end and we are lucky to have her with us.
Things like this that happen suddenly can be really hard, but they can also leave us singing God’s praises even more. God is supporting you and your family and that is wonderful! I’m sending prayers for your health, strength, and for your family.
Dear Ashley,
One of the things you certainly have been sent to earth for is to share your perspectives with all of us – on life and death and all the colorful moments of joy we can fill up the in-between with – must add that you do an awesome job lady!
Our children and we love you so much and feel thankful too for having you touch our lives …
OX
Oh Ashley, I just can’t imagine… Thank you for sharing your story. It helps put things in perspective for a lot of people -including me. I just lost my job but it does not compare a tiny bit with what you are going thru and you are setting a great example about how to lead our lives and let God have control of everything including our fear. I’ve been thinking about you a lot and you, your family and your doctors are on my prayers. Much love send your way!!
I’ve been praying and praying for you and your family. You are so strong and, like others have said, a true inspiration. And…no one thinks you are “steel hearted”! Praying the chemo works and you heal quickly! Glad you get to be back home with your family!
Thank you for sharing your story with us… I can imagine it feels odd to be so bared for all the world to see. But I love to “see” your strength and the strength of your family. Take care of yourself… physically and mentally. Another wish for a speedy recovery.
Ashley you are so brave! Thank goodness for the wonderful Drs and your family! 🙂 Thank you for writing about your story! I hope this chemo works fast for you!! Go team Ashley!!
I’m so glad you are doing better. You are such an inspiration in so many aspects of your life.
I’ve been thinking of you a lot. I woke up at 4:30 am think of you and your family. I hope all is going good. I will keep you all in my prayers
Michelle
Amazing! So glad you are here and alive! Praise the Lord for modern medicine. Every woman understands the heartbreak involved with hysterectomy. Get lots of rest. We are praying for you.
Oh my….. I’m so thankful that you made it through alright. Continuing to remember you in my prayers!!!!!! Bless your heart!
Thank you for being brave enough to share your updates with us all – strangers and friends alike. As difficult of a situation this is, its a joy to read about your faith and strength – it gives the rest of us hope. So many love you!
WOW what a year you have had. You are one super strong momma! Your optimism and encouragement amaze me. Lots of love and prayers sent your way. XOXO
wow! i cant even begin to imagine the physical and emotional pain you are experiencing right now. But I am inspired and amazed by your spirit and strength. I continue to pray for you and your family! If any one can come through this stronger….its got to be you! feel better soon!!
Been thinking about you and praying for you, Brett, Boo, and your family. Your uplifting spirit and positive outlook are truly amazing. You are an inspiration!
You and your family have been in my prayers. Jayne
Glad you are home with your loved ones. You are an inspiration. I think you are helping us all to live a little more fully each day. I am praying for you. I’ve been a long time fan of Lil Blue Boo. Thanks for all you have shared.
I’m absolutely amazed at your honesty & openness throughout all you are experiencing! You are definitely a living inspiration!
So sorry about everything. As fOr the bowel movement try lots of black licorice!
My heart goes out to you, be strong and know that there is much love surrounding you.
Debbie
Love you Ashley! So glad you’re still with us! May God continue to bless you and your family! Being a “retired” nurse I know you will get stronger each day. (And yes, we are obsessed with bowel movements :o) ) Keep walking, it will help. It may not feel like it, but it helps the healing process.
I never normally comment but am a faithful reader and have been praying for you. You are so strong and such an inspiration to everyone reading your blog! I am so happy you are home and alive! Thank you for sharing your story with all of us! Wishing you a fast recovery for your family, Boo and all of us who love you!!
SO glad you are doing better! I’m not gonna lie when I read about the emergency hysterectomy, I shed a few tears because you are such a great mother ..but God had a different plan for you. I’ll continue to pray for your health and a speedy recovery! (from here in Texas <3 )
Andrea K
what a story and what a testimony you will have when all is said and done. God is going to use you for His glory and i know you are going to do something amazing. i will also add your daughter to my prayer list… hugs
Ashley, thank you for being so candid about whats going on with you. You and your family are definitely in my prayers. You are an amazing inspiration and I’m so happy that you are ok. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing, you are such a blessing! 🙂
I will be continuing to pray for you, Brett, and Boo…and all of your family!
May God continue to hold you all in His loving arms!
Your story just continues to be a shock to me! Being from the Charlotte area also, I have felt an attachment to you. I am so happy that all has worked out as well as it has, but am so sorry for all that you have been through. You had a guardian angel looking out for you and we all know that it was your dad. I know that you want life to be back to normal but allow yourself to grieve for your loss. Continued prayers being sent your way. Know that the love that you share so freely with others is all being returned to you!
You are so full of joy and grace during each of these trials! You are reaching so many people in so many different ways, thank you for sharing! God bless you and your family as you continue to recover emotionally and physically. Continued prayers for you, Brett, Boo and your entire family.
I am so sorry. I haven’t been keeping up with blogs lately. Last I read you were releasing the new line and life was pretty good. I am so sorry to hear that it has taken such a turn. You and your family are in my thoughts. I hope it’s a straightforward path to health from here on.
Ashley, just wanted to say I have been thinking of you and praying for you to be well. I have been following your blog for about a year now, and have never commented before. I love your work and think you are amazingly talented along with little Boo! Your spirt is amazing as well. Prayers are so powerful please know you have so many from hundreds of miles away! Even though we never met or spoke you have touched and inspired me both with your stories and strength.
May God bless you and your family always. Much love, and be well 🙂
I only found your blog a few days ago and I can already tell what a beautiful spirit you have. Our hearts go out to you and we will be keeping you and your family in our prayers. May the Lord bless you and keep you and bring you quickly back to good health.
In Him,
Teri
I thank God you came through with your life. I’m glad your bleeding happened on the table and not a home. It happened that way because your daughter still is still supposed to have a mother, your husband still needs his wife and your mother should still have her daughter. YOU are still here! You’ve been though a lot within this year , but you’ve stay encouraged and always look on the bright side of things during the darkest situations.
Although you don’t want to make this blog about Ashely, it is about you. We care and want to know how YOU are doing. It’s about your heath and recovery right now. Because this blog or LLB would be or exist without you.
Take care of yourself.
P.S. – I forgot about Diesel, he still heeds you too.
Just wanted to send a big hug, and more prayers to go along with the rest. your spirit is precious.
This reminds me of when my friend had her c-section last year. While she was on the table her heart stopped. She got multiple blood clots. If she hadn’t been on that table when it happened she would have died. She had a huge chance of dying even WITH all the doctors and nurses in that room with her that day. She was in a medically-induced coma for a few days to let her brain heal and so they could try and keep the clots out of her lungs and brain. They put filters in her veins back to her heart. She woke up days after the c-section not really knowing what happened, why, or why everyone was so freaked out. I remember being so angry that her doctor INSISTED on her having a c-section when I clearly thought she could have a sucessful VBAC. God put her there to save her life. I’m so glad for that, and I’m so glad He did the same for you. Thank you for making us a part of your life and sharing with us. You’re an amazing person and I’m thankful for you.
Thanks for the honest update. I’m heartbroken for all you’ve gone through lately, and send my best wishes. I hope you heal well and quickly.
So glad you shared this story and your butt pic! You are braver than me! – it is really touching – my friend is going in for a laparoscopic hysterectomy on Friday. She is scared and doesn’t want to have it done but reading your story just emphasizes that we have to put our trust in the Docs and GOD!
I will think of you this weekend when i am trying out projects with my new bottle of Citrasolv 🙂
Continuing to offer prayers for healing and joyous thanksgiving for your safety through the surgery. Ashley, thank you for sharing so openly. You offer strength and hope to others during this experience. So glad you have such a great family and network of friends to help and encourage you as you recover. <3
ashley, oh my word girl! I have been following along on your blog, having just discovered you a few months ago, and you are such a beautiful spirit! I was saddened to hear about your story & have been wondering how friday went. Reading this post . . I was in TEARS by the end as WOW – is our God a wonderful God or what? To have you the worst part of this happen when it could be dealt with, His grace amazes me everyday & His timing is always PERFECT! =) I am so glad to hear you are ok (for today) I know about taking it day-by-day, sometimes that’s the only way to get out of bed in the morning. You are such a strong woman & God has such a plan for you. Embrace this moment & get excited as He is working His plan in you this minute. Your path may continually change but that is the exciting part about walking with Him! Much love to you & I will continue to pray for your family & your recovery. So excited to watch your journey from all of this. I will be cheering you every step of the way! God bless . . xoxo laura
Hey there!! So strange, but I found your blog looking for a fall wreath on Pinterest, and now I’m captivated by your story. I know God brought me to your site for some reason, just don’t know why yet. Please know you’re in my prayers as you walk this journey out. I wanted to recommend some books that have been really helpful to me in times of trouble- one is “Streams in the Desert” (an amazing devo that’s a great companion to Jesus Calling), the other is “Have Heart”, written by Steve and Sarah Berger, my pastors. It’s an amazing book about Heaven, and how the chasm between us and our loved ones is very small!!! (Your daughter’s experience with your dad is living proof that we are SURROUNDED by a cloud of witnesses!!) Loved that. 🙂 Also, I work at a cancer research firm, Sarah Cannon Research Institute- I’m a designer, not a doc though! But, we are one of the leading research firms, with all the BEST drug trials. Should you travel down your cancer road, and find yourself in need of new treatments- please contact me!! I know God has a purpose and that all things work together for those who love Him. I already know He was preparing you for this road, and I pray he continues to surround you with love, peace and His overwhelming presence. May you continue to abide in the shelter of His wings. Elisha
bless you!!!!! it is healing to talk: good,bad, ugly, private, get it all out!! i lost a baby at 21 days old in arkansas childrens hospital. 21 days she was in picu, 21 days there was a family member by her side every second of visiting hours, 21 days i cried, prayed, mourned, yelled, when i got to hold her, every second it was ME holding her until i couldnt feel my legs, brushing her hair, singing, reading, trying to hold onto every second i had with her. and during those 21 days the baby in the next incubator had not. one. visitor. not one. it is hard to believe that some people have no one, but its true. you are very lucky.
WOWSER! That was a lot to go through. I have to tell you I adore your family ….The post from your husband was so sweet, that he cares so much for you to do your stuff when you can not. And your father in law keeping track of everything…that was really awesome.
I know what it is like to lose your parent, then people think you are not grieving as you should. No one sees our hearts and everyone deals with every situation differently so I wouldn’t worry if anyone disagrees with the process you chose.
I can also imagine the mixed emotions over the hysterectomy. And things coming in waves is the most realest way to describe how it will keep playing out I am sure. I just pray that with all of it, God gives you peace. Even the grieving parts. And that he gives you strength through it all. I really appreciate your sharing.
I can tell by your posts that being a mom, wife, and freind to family and friends is very important. I pray that you do not feel overwhelmed in any of these areas. Try to rest and know dishes can wait, toys can be played with and left (wink). Don’t over do yourself. Girl…I did that pushed myself after my surgery and made things worse. (BLAH)
You and your family are in my prayers.
Take care
Lisa
I’m keeping you and your family in my prayers!
Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning. Ps. 30:5
My heart is so full of love for you today. This is an incredible post, full of wonderful words. I especially love that you are so grateful. I need to be more grateful as I too have family and friends who love me. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. I will be praying for you!
My prayers are with you and your family. I’ve thought a lot about little Boo and I’m glad you are home and beginning to recover.The good Lord is with you. Let Him carry you when you feel weak and you’ll find renewed strength. We all love you.
Ashley,
I am so happy you are home again, with your family, comfortable, or somewhat comfortable.
I will continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts & prayers.
Brightest Blessing to you and yours Ashley! You are indeed blessed to have such an amazing family and your strength and courage in the face of this journey is truly inspiring! May the Gods watch over, bless and protect you and your family (((HUGS)))
There is nothing I can say that has not been said already. This is why I love the Internet. We can cry with and pray for those we don’t even know! When this is all over, you and Boo can make another one of those dance videos and bust out that Beyonce (or was it Destiny’s Child…cannot remember) song “Survivor”!
Love you, Sis! Feel better soon and the prayers keep coming!!!! This blog started a few years ago as a way to get people’s creative juices flowing and has turned into somehing so much greater. Your strength and faith and honesty is so inspiring. If reading your blog brings just one person closer to Christ, then you have accomplished something awesome! Let others take care of you until you are ready to take care of yourself as hard as I know that is. Hugs from GA!!!
Dear Ashley, What an amazing roller coaster ride. But your strength and determination to get better will be Key in your recovery. Thanks for sharing all the details, You are really an inspiration to so many.
I really admire you realizing what your parents, and family and friends have been through. They haven’t had the shots in the Bum, but they’ve had the PIT IN THEIR STOMACHS. Your faith is to be admired, Thanks for sharing it. Best wishes , Cuppy
Thank you for sharing. I can’t imagine how it is to go through that… and then to share it with us is amazing and inspiring. I am sorry, but I did laugh at the butt picture and then laughed again about the TMI. Then I started crying again when you talked about Boo.
I just wanted to share a quote with you. I am often reminded of this quote when I think of you, think of all that you have done, and think of all the people you have inspired (me included).
“The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before – colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter.”
Don’t forget that you are admired and love by many.
Love,
Lisa and Hannah
I’m continuously praying for you! I’m sure your story is touching a lot of people and giving them hope! (((HUGS)))
You are an amazing woman.
Ashley… praying for you. Praying that you recover quickly, the pain subsides, and you will be able to be courageous, strong, and persevere. It’s funny, because you always hear “God will never give you more than you can handle”, but it’s not true. It’s not in the Bible. One day when I was to my limit with stuff, I decided to look up where in the Bible it was, and it just isn’t there… God doesn’t give us more than HE can handle. We just have to trust Him. Much love to you, and your little family. -Evelyn.
Praise God that you’re home safe and recovering nicely now. Thank you for sharing your story.
Prayers for you, Mr. LBB, and Boo still flowing from Austin, especially for peace and comfort for little Boo. One day she will look back and understand how brave her mama is.
I have been so worried waiting to see a post on your blog. Thank God for putting the right people in the right place at the right time to work his love in your body, your heart, and mind. Big hugs to Boo as well. My daughter is just about her age and I can only imagine how she must be reacting to all of this.
My thoughts are with you. I don’t know what else to say, but I hope you are doing ok.
Sweet Ashley,
We have never met, but have quite a few designer friends in common. I just wanted to let you know how amazing and inspiring you are to me & everyone else- My family is praying for you… you are so strong & loved!!
God bless you,
Tracy (Creme de la Gems)
My heart is full of love for you, your family, and friends. You are amazing and an inspiration!
So good to hear you are starting to heal. This must have been so brutal on your family, nevermind the toll it has taken on your own body. Take it easy and get well.
I remember reading somewehere
” Courage is not the lack of fear but the ability to face it ”
and you have choosen the best way to start winning your battle : living one day after the other and take the best out of each one.
You are strong and strong people know how to let their feeling take the right pace.
We here pray for your and for your family and expecially for Boo, who has to be stronger than a child needs at her age.
God bless you all
Claudia
Ashley –
You and your family continue to be in my prayers. Stay strong and positive – I’m a firm believer in the power of positive thinking!
Jess
i wish you faith and strength from germany
Get well soon, you have more dancing to do with boo!
I’ve only been reading your blog for a little while and I love it. You are so inspiring and I’ve been lifting you and your family in prayer. I hope you feel stronger every day!
Your past few posts have totally wrung my heart. Please know that you are in my prayers.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. Philippians 4:8
You are an amazing woman and I would never be able to come out of your situation the way you have. I know from second hand about losing a parent unexpectedly, as my husband lost his father also. II will say everyone shows their grieving differently. My husband and I think about his father daily but it might not show to the ordinary person. I know you worry about Boo (I do too), but remember her mommy is a strong woman and I am sure she is just as strong. Please take care of yourself and rest, that’s the downfall of going home, is you want to get back to your ordinary life so soon, but you need to take some time for yourself to heal. Thinking about you today and everyday.
Ashley,
I never know what to say during these times. Sometimes what I want to say might feel repeated. However, what I would like to say is Good Job. You’re fighting this and you will make it through. I have been reading your blog for a few years now; if I have never stumbled across you blog to figure out easy sewing patterns I probably would have never dusted off my Mom’s sewing machine. Now 2 years later I have my own machines and sell my creations at Mom2Mom sales and will do that quick repair for a friend or family member and b/c of you I have a very stylish little group of kids at home, I even sew things for my preschool class. Thank you, for being who you are. I wish like crazy I that I could come over and help you. I have 2 little girls who would love to have Boo as a friend. But even though I live nearly 3,000 +/- miles away (Michigan) please know I am there for you.
Jen
Ashley- I’m so thankful that you made it out of surgery and that they were able to remove the tumor. We’re still praying for you and your family!
Reading your account brought tears to my eyes, as I had a very similar situation happen to us in February. I had an ectopic pregnancy, went to the hospital for the chemo shot to end the pregnancy and my tube ruptured while I was in the waiting room. I had emergency surgery and they had to remove my tube because every time they suctioned the blood away, the tube would bleed more and more. When you wrote “Thank you God for having my bleeding start on the table and not at home.”, that is exactly how I felt. I was minutes away from leaving the hospital after I got the shot and I am so grateful that I ruptured when I did! Even though I went through an awful experience, I knew God was watching out for me because everything happened in the best way that it could have. I feel like I have to make my life count because I have been so blessed to have survived what I did.
I hope you just keep loving on your little Boo. My little E was such a bright spot in my recovery. Our thoughts and prayers are with you as you continue to heal!!
Ashley, Best wishes to you and your family and a speedy recovery. I’m praying for you and think of you everyday.
Cheryl
I hope you’ll feel better soon. I love reading your blog. you are so creative!
Wow. You have been tested a lot, lately, and your strength is shining through. I am glad you came out of all this okay and that you continue to have the right attitude. My best to you as you have a speedy recovery. Count your blessings, as you have many. 🙂
Ashley, you are doing the will of God by witnessing to all those you touch through your blog. We are all so proud of you, Brett, Sienna and Shelley. i had a hysterectomy years ago due to fibroid tumors. It was difficult without complications. The hardest part is caring for ourselves and relaxing in the arms of God to heal. I know you have been through the worst and brighter days are sure to come. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, just like you are doing. You are right on to stay in FAITH not FEAR. I hope your treat arrives today and is beautiful and uplifting to you all. Hang in there and never doubt that you are surrounded in love and blessings always. You are one beautiful, brave women!! Hugs to all, Judy
No one can be perfectly strong, we can all just be as brave as we can. I think you are brave for writing about this. Life-threatening illness, body-altering surgery and being injured in front of your child . . . it’s so hard. Even knowing that you will get through it doesn’t mean you don’t feel the heartbreak in the present. And abdominal surgery is slow and painful to recover from! I’ve had two and it felt like forever to be strong again! You realize how much you use those muscles to do everything. Several times I woke up my husband by crying from the pain of going from a sitting to a lying position. All my best wishes for you and your family, who I know love you very much and will support you in every way possible. It is in these hard times that we realize how lucky we are, isn’t it? To have love, support, faith, and access to excellent medical care.
Seeing you turn to faith through the most trying times is beautiful. I am sure there are many moments of sadness and tears, but your strength shining through does not make you cold- you are just putting your energy in the right path. Always in my prayers!
Wow, I cannot believe what you’ve gone through in such a short period of time. When I was pregnant, early on, being termed an “elderly” mother at 39 years old, the doctors found a mass along with an embryo. They thought it may be a molar pregnancy along with, hopefully, a viable embryo, Three weeks later or so, after a sampling of cells was taken from both, the doctor basically aspirated much the mass up into the syringe and the fetus remained. They believe it was a vanishing twin that probably would have gone undetected in a younger mother. That was a scary time, but I was so lucky to have my wonderful and only son. Your trial was/is so much harder and scarier. I hope you will get all of the rest you need, and I have a feeling dreaming up your next project to do when you have recovered and treasuring your family will keep you happy. Get well soon, you strong woman!
Ashley – you are so great in so many ways. I’ve begged before for you to do workshops, if you ever do come South, I’m calling Shotgun on taking you out first (for donuts and coffee of course!) I continue to think of you and offer prayers for you and your family.
Ashley, You are an amazingly strong woman with the most positive outlook on life. I am a believer that how you look at things helps determine it’s course. Put all in Christ’s hands and he will never steer you wrong! Get well soon. I pray for you and your whole family at this stressful time.
God Bless,
Kelly
Oh Ashley! Sounds like you had some angels looking over you. I am so sorry to hear about your unexpected hysterectomy. It is so hard when God’s plan doesn’t quite make sense to us. I’m sure it is going to lead you down an amazing path that you would have never gone if it weren’t for this. I pray for God to give you strength, peace and to heal you. We are continuing to pray for you and your family. You are one tough cookie! 😉
I’m so happy and grateful that you were able to post. The angels were definitely looking over you and will continue to do so. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. xoxo
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and being you. I believe God turned me onto your story to help me get through my own trials. Praying for you and your family.
wow. really, just wow. i’m amazed by all of it. the timing, your strength, your family, your friends, the medical team. you have been in my thoughts and prayers.
i don’t know what to say. going in for one thing and coming with another. that happened to me years back. went in for a routine annual exam and couple days later, getting a softball sized cyst removed along with one of my ovaries. that for me left me feeling confused. i hope and pray for you to be okay with all that has gone on. day by day, step by step…you seem to be in the right mind frame! 🙂
i am so glad that you are surrounded by love both physically and in cyber space. thank you so much for continuing to inspire by sharing such a personal experience. but, know that we understand if you just need to take a vacation! 🙂 we will all be here when you get back.
much, much aloha to you!
Ashley-
There’s much I recognize from your post. And some things are different. Because we’re all different and yet, in basics, somehow the same.
How strange it is to go under narcosis and then to come out of it and suddenly all is wrong. Surrounded by machines and tubes and things. Not knowing anything. Half-hearing things under sedation and hallucination. Seeing your husband’s lip quiver for the first time in your life. Not being able to see your children whilst at intensive care and then when you can finally see them, see them scare away because Mama looks so strange and what are all these things in her? No strength to lift a hand, not able to walk, not even saliva to chew and swallow your food. Hearing the whole story only later, after you’re back home, realizing then what has happened and how friggin’ frightening it must have been to those close to you.
They said I’d completely recover. I could hardly believe it, but I did. Not knowing the full story kinda helped, I guess. Strangest thing – once I was out of IC and at a normal ward, I was so positive, so optimistic, I didn’t even have to try, it came naturally. Thinking of the future.
Yet, some things will stay with you. Although it might take a while to recognize. Some things for the better, some things not so much for the better. A life-or-death experience is no small thing, whichever way you look at it.
The good thing is: the positive will outweigh the negative. Sure, the negative can and will scare you, once in a while. Or make you angry or sad. Don’t be afraid to cry, or to talk about it. You’ve lost a part of you – also mentally, and that is a very big deal. But you’re alive, and as long as that’s the case, almost anything is possible! I know you’ll love Boo and Mr. LBB and your family every day together a little more.
Take care of yourself and allow others to take care of you as well.
Wishing you and your family the very best outcome. Stay strong and thank you for sharing your story… and your life, with us. 🙂
i hadn’t checked you blog for the past several weeks. wow, what a lot has happened in that short time! i’ll be praying for you and your family! your positive attitude is awesome and something i can definitely learn from!
You are an inspiration. I prayed and prayed for you and your family for the last few days and now I find myself crying tears of joy for you. You are amazing. Thank you for your bravery, your honest and for sharing your journey with us.
your strenght is so inspirational! thanks for sharing! thinking of you – get well soon!!! – from the autumn colored mountains in the czech republic 🙂
Ashley you are so brave. I am, and will continue to pray for your complete healing and peace for you and your family during the next months.
I’ve been wondering for the past few days how you were doing. You are an amazing person! Keep on keeping on! So positive and I wish I was more like you. Prayers for you and your family.
Ashley, I just started following your blog after seeing Jen mention you on TT&J’s Facebook page. I haven’t even looked at all your diy projects and past posts, I started following you because of your spirit as youre going through these crazy insane health issues. I pray you recover quickly!
Continued prayers from Washington to you and your family.
You and your family are handling these very difficult circumstances in a way that is a blessing to others and glorifying to God. Thank you for sharing your very personal story and your pain. Grieving is so very personal and we each handle it in a different way. My prayers will be with you, that you and your family will be comforted at this time, that you will be blessed by others as you have blessed us through you work and creativity.
Ashley!
I’m so happy to read you again! I’ve benn thinking of you these whole days and thought this would be happening something like you described. Sometimes nature works misteriously and your angel called “father” took care of you. I can’t think of anything else.
Get well soon… And be strong my friend… We all send you our best energy.
Ce
Prayers going out to you for a speedy and full recovery. Also sending hugs to you. Hugs, Bobbi Jo
Thinking of you and hoping the best for you! Let everyone help you and fuss over you. Don’t turn down help.
God Bless you and your family. You were brought into my life by accident and now I know it was for a reason….your strength and out look is so inspiring. You have refreshed and strenghten my love and belief in God. Thank you.
You and your family will forever be in my prayers. GodBless
I feel for you. Not an easy thing to go through. Or your family. And one day at a time is the only way. And don’t be afraid to ask for help. For any reason.
I’ve followed for you for about a year now. I really enjoy your blog.You are such an amazing creative woman. You touch a lot of lives. Even way up here in Canada (Calgary). I’m sending healing thoughts your way.
You are so right on Ashley! We will continue to pray and give thanks for you and all that you have. We live in a great period of time where there are better outcomes of surgeries, that having children can have a varied of meanings, that a text can be sent from the OR. Giving thanks for all your blessings!!!
Thank you for being so open.
I just want to let you know that you and your family are in my prayers. Stay strong and take it one day at a time.
God bless!
wow, that is quite a lot to experience. God has a plan though and its not our own. I wish you a speedy recovery.
Oh my….what a crazy, unexpected, trying day you had. I know it is WAY WAY too soon for this…but having had a string of horrific outcomes trying to become a mom…I must say God eventually put me on a path to the most unexpected, better than I could ever have imagined Plan B, that was the best thing that has ever happened to me. In my case, I am a bit of a control freak and it took A LOT for God to convince me to trust him and let him “take the wheel”….and I am even that much more appreciative having had such a rough road. I know that you are hugging your Little Boo that much tighter today and I know that you will continue to be blessed.
God is watching over you for sure. You are such an amazing person and so strong. I am so sorry that you are having to struggle so. Words cannot describe my sorrow for your loss, but i know that God just has a little different plan.
I am so glad He preserved your life! You are part of a miracle and you have touched so many lives! You are in our prayers! God bless!
Wow. What a whirlwind of events! I’m glad you’re feeling a little bit better and as feisty as you are, I’m certain you’ll be up and around in no time. You are really fortunate to have so much family and so many friends to support you, that is a tremendous gift and good for your to realize it. I hope that you are feeling a little bit better each day and please keep us posted.
Hi, I am a new follower. The first post I read was a couple days ago that your husband wrote while you were in the hospital. I had jumped over from Tatertots blog & wished I had found your site under better circumstances but still happy I found you 🙂 You have certainly been put through the ringer & I wish you the speedeast (if that is a word?) recovery! I remember 10 yrs ago going in to have my appendix out & 10 hours after going into surgery, I came out with 8″ less of my small intestine and in ICU for 7 days 🙁 Apparently my large & small intestine got tangled up (not appendix issue) & was rupturing (cecal volvulous). My family rushed 4 hours to where I was and I was lucky to be alive. I remember thinking after all that, like I can’t believe this is happening? What the heck is going on? It was a long recovery but all is good 🙂 Hang in there, you have a beautiful family & I love your blog! Look forward to following you 🙂
I follow your posts. Some have made me cry, laugh and inspire.
I will continue to pray for you.
Take care.
Christine.
You and your family are in my thoughts. <3
I am inspired by your strength.
Listen to your doctors (that's what my mom always says)
I’m sending prayers your way for you and your family. Also praying that you get good news next week.
-Susan
SO glad to hear from you! You have been on my mind. Thank you for sharing! I’ve followed for a couple years, bought patterns, done many projects, and admired your talent and spirit… I only have commented the last couple days. My husband looked at me like I was crazy when I shed tears as I told him about what you and your family are going through. My mom had ovarian cancer and is alive to tell about it… she doesn’t have to as I remember it vividly as a child (12+)… I remember many things about it very vividly. I am fine. She is fine. You and your family are strong, are special people, and I am touched by your inner strength. Clearly Heavenly Father is with you and knows the needs of you and your family. Prayers are truly being said in your behalf and will continue. Much love from this home to yours!
Be gentle with yourself. You were very lucky, and you had good doctors and nursing staff looking after you. Glad you survived the day. Fingers crossed for you that this will be the last “surprise” for you.
love Claire
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. This has to be so difficult. Your daughter is adorable and I’m so happy you have such wonderful support around you in the days ahead. I love your blog and am inspired each time I read your updates!
Thank you for sharing your story. Thoughts and prayers with you & your beautiful family.
xoxox Tara
Praying for you Ashley! Sounds like God has already been working miracles through this extremely difficult time for you and your family. You are so inspiring with your strength and positive attitude.
Thoughts and prayers are with you & your family! Thank you for sharing your story!
All the best to you, and may your recovery be quick. Thank-you so much for being so honest and candid about your situation. Your story truly helps put life in perspective. Love and prayers,
Andrea
Ashley,you are an amazing person. God has the plan for you…..you will recover. I am keeping you in my prayers. Sue. (Amy’s mom)
Ash, you’ve been in my thoughts and prayers ever since you told us of the tumors. When you said surgery, I added Brett and Boo. I thank God that He chose to let you stay here, instead of going Home.
I’ve never met you, but I love you like one of my kids.
I have enjoyed your posts for quite awhile now. Your creativity and enthusiasm are a gift to us all. Thank you for sharing this intimate journey. You have been in my thoughts and prayers, and will continue to be, as your path unfolds.
So happy you are back with us. Take your time to rest and please know we are all here to support you. Joy luck club? Woman, don’t do it to yourself 🙂 don’t watch Beaches or any other classic 🙂 glad to hear you are getting better!
Glad you are home! I don’t think Adam and Eve had belly buttons. The rest of us must have them. Praying for all of you.
I experienced the same thing. My tumor was about an inch smaller! Whatever you do, don’t rush the recovery! Accept the help! That was hard for me to do since I’m always the one helping others. The staples will drive you nuts! Have a bottle of wine! lol And do not watch anything funny until the incision is healed and I mean really healed. Just based on experience 🙂 Glad to have you back!
Ashley,
I’m so sorry for all you’ve been through in this insanely short time. Your postive attitude is a constant encouragement….I hope you know just how much of an an inspiration you are in so many ways – crafting, parenting, family, staying postive. Thanks for everything you do and for sharing. God was definitely looking out for you on that table in picking that precise moment for you to bleed uncontrollably. I love reading your blog, seeing your beautiful creations and meeting you at Creative Estates this spring was just great! All the best to you, Boo and your whole family!
xoxo, Sara
I have been praying for you…God’s plan and our plan sometimes don’t look the same. Stay strong and I will keep praying for you and your beautiful family!
May God bless you and your family
I met you the other day at Loma Linda….after I met you, I told your husband how lucky he was and how amazing you are. You are a very gifted writer! Thank you for sharing your blog, I look forward to reading more of it :).
My heart goes out to you and your gorgeous family. I had a hysterectomy at age 34 – also to save my life – and it takes time to come to terms with it, even when the decision is one you had a little time to make yourself. Take your time and allow yourself to feel….whatever it is you feel at any given time. You are a strong, brave and amazing woman – a through and through inspiration. I’m sending love and light and huge *squeezy* hugs to you and yours – Kirsty
Ashley, my heart aches for you reading this post, but you have such an amazing spirit. My continued prayers for you and your family.
Praying for you. Try rocking in a rocking chair …. it moves your insides around (like walking)…should help with the needed BM!
Oh Ashley so glad you are home with your loved ones and being cared for so lovingly. I am so sorry to hear about the surgery but so glad it happened on the operating table and not a minute sooner. I am wishing you the fastest recovery and that the chemo treatments work the first time. You are an inspiration to me! May God bless you and your family during this difficult time!
We wish you the best. My heart aches for you as I know part of your hurt first hand. As you say life does go on but as you know it is not just that easy. Your first trip out of the house will be so difficult just remember one step at a time and one day at a time.
Take your time getting well, Ashley. I have a feeling we will all hang around until you are better:-) You are indeed a child of God, and I pray for your recovery, both physical and mental. I pray for your family, and that the chemo works. Let the love of those around you lift you up. You will be right as rain before you know it.
I just can not believe this. I am SO very sorry. I am praying for you and your family. My friend has actually been calling and give me updates because I have not been checking my computer!! We are all praying for you and your sweet family. I hope this chemo is working and that this all passes so fast. I am truly so very sorry about the hysterectomy. I can not imagine waking up to that. Thank you for trusting God and being so positive. It is truly inspiring.
I’m praying for your full and speedy recovery. I’ve been following you for the last few months and love your posts. I’m in the process of starting a business selling handmade children’s clothing and have really enjoyed your “Business series”. I’m looking forward to future posts from you. Good luck and God bless. God is good and He is good all the time!
Ashley,
I have never commented on a blog, but feel compelled to just tell you that I’m praying for you and thinking about you! Your courage, strength, and perseverance are inspiring. I am amazed at your unyielding faith and the way you always bring honor and glory to our Heavenly Father. In reading your story, I just keep thinking about Ephesians 3:20 – “God is able to do IMMEASURABLY MORE than ALL we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.” I know that God will do more for you than you can even ask or imagine and that is certainly my prayer for you!
Hello Ashley,
My heart breaks for you as Ive read yours and Brett’s posts. On Sunday when I read Brett’s post about your surgery I was in tears. That day at church we listened to a talk by a guy called Matt Chandler on the website theresurgence.com all about suffering (he has has a golf ball sized tumor taken out of his brain just this last year) and I kept thinking of you and your family. It might be encouraging. Just thought I’d mention it. We also prayed for you and your family and have continued doing so during this week.
You are such an amazing woman, such an inspiration craft wise and faith wise.
With my love and many prayers from an English family living in South East Asia. God bless you richlyxxx
You have been in my prayers for the past couple weeks. God is so good. He won’t give you anything you can’t handle. You are truly an inspiration.
Ashley,
I am so happy to hear you are home and on the road to recovery. I have been hoping for an update. I am sorry you have had to go through all that you have had to go through. You and your family are still and will be in our prayers. Thinking of you daily. Your strength is amazing. But everything with God is amazing and you have been such a witness to others with your faith. I hope you have a great night and wake up to a sunshine morning! Much love to you and yours!
Ashley,
You have sounded incredibly brave through everything that has happened to you. I admire that so much. You and your family are in my prayers.
Oh Ashley, you are such a wise and wonderful person yet so young to be going through all this. I cannot add any words of wisdom because I think that possibly you are the most amazing person I have ever been blessed to “know”. I feel such love for you and I only “met” you a couple weeks ago. You and Brett and little Boo and the rest of your beautiful family are always in my prayers. I have no doubt this won’t keep YOU down girl!! Love and prayers, Joy (from Seattle). xoxoxo
Ashley, you continue to amaze and inspire me! Thank you for sharing your story with all of us! I’m praying for your speedy recovery and that this chemo works it’s magic for you! You truly are blessed with your loving and supportive family and friends as I know they feel blessed to be in your life as well! Please take care and update when you can!
Keeping you and yours in my prayers! Praise God that you are still here! I know this doesn’t seem like the path you wanted but God is so obviously working in your life that you must trust that He is in control and this is a door opening and not closing. I know how hard it can be to keep fear at bay but I also know that you can do it!! Keep choosing joy!! Much love sent your way.
Big hugs! I also had to have my uterus removed because of a cancer scare and and a dropping hemoglobin.
Please do not hurry the recovery, the better you take care of yourself the better the outcome.
I was very blessed the doctor said if I had waited another month I would had cancer and the outcome would have been a lot different.
I had a 6yr old and 3 yr old who could not understand why I could not lift or hold him. My family really helped a lot during this time. I thank God for all he has done
Bless you and take care my prayers are with you.
Prayers are with you and your family…and please understand, this is your time. You will heal faster and better with all of the prayers and positive thoughts around you…as well as your family…even though I have a dd and dh, I basically came home from a birth and what turned out to be 2 serious operations only to them…2 of the surgeries ended up in ICU, when moved to a normal room the BM was on the nurses mind and informed me that I would not be released until I had one…so I am surprised that they allowed you to leave….
So take it from 1 that knows surgeries, let these people take care of you, do not strain yourself and let yourself heal the way you need to…so take care of yourself…and remember that we all care about you…you are part of most of our families…
Hi Ashley!
May God bless you and your family through this bump in the road, I was pretty upset when I read Brett’s post, cos its almost as if you are a friend I have met and spent time with. Was waiting for the next post, to hear from you, from anyone that you were getting better. Theres nothing but prayers and good wishes that I can send from India, but I so hope it helps.
XOXO
Sabina
Hi Ashley, I am from South Africa and have been following your blog for a while, but haven’t read it in a few weeks and was really shocked to hear your news of your emergency surgery. Wow you are an incredibly brave lady, as a mom myself I can only imagine what you are going through and how you worry about your daughter and family and the fear you must often feel. But what you say about not choosing fear is so inspiring and I admire your strength! Praying lots of you that you all get through this stronger – I have no doubt you will!! Lauren
reading ur post made me feel as though one of my family was going through this. I pray that you regain your health soon.
Hello Ashley
Ive worked it all out.
You’re an angel!
A real earth angel .
Best of luck to you and your loving family.
Oh and pear juice, lots of pear juice will get those bowels working.
And it tastes great 🙂
Take Care
Ashley, you are amazing and an inspiration. Praying and praying for you all! You’ll get through this!
Hi, Ashley
I am praying for you and my in Ex. 14:14 say “The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.”
Vanessa
You have a right to be heartbroken. Praying the Lord will wrap His arms around you and give you the comfort you need at this time.
Jill
Hi Ashley-
Grace posted a note about your blog on FB and I read with awe about your courage with everything you are going through. You are in my thoughts. Stay well!
Kate
Ashley, I am so RELIEVED to hear (read?) your voice again…have been thinking about you constantly and was delighted to hear that you are on the mend from this crisis….maybe they make a laxative donut? Now THAT would be a genius invention! Congratulations for coming through this, and as you say, you are extremely fortunate to have so much love from friends and family….well done you!
Just to let you know there are prayers from L.A. lower ALABAMA coming to you every day.
I have just begun reading your blog. I am amazed by your crafty devotion, but more so, by your Mommy devotion. I am so sorry for all that you are going through. I am a faithful person and firmly believe you are a testimony. I look forward to following your journey to recovery. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers…
Ashley, you are an amazing person. I would say woman, mom, etc., but I just mean person. You might not realize it, but sometimes, you say the smallest things that are the most thought provoking statements. You are a friend from afar, and we all are thinking of you and your beautiful family. xoxo, alisa
Thankfully, you are home recovering; I was shocked to read this post. I’ve been reading your blog for a long time, but I’m mostly just a lurker. Sending warm thoughts and prayers your way to both you and your family.
Be sure to take care of yourself 🙂
Ashley, I have no doubt that your amazing outlook will take you far in kicking this cancer. And yay for the poop!!! There is nothing worse than recovery plagued by constipation – you poor girl!!! I’m so very, very sorry your surgery turned into a hysterectomy – you certainly have every right to feel heartbroken about that loss. Take care in knowing there are lots of us thinking of you, praying for you, and wishing you great strength in the days ahead. May there be more hopeful moments than dark ones.
Hugs.. Personally you are an amazing strong woman. I hope the recovery process is a little smoothier than the surgery itself.
Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this time.
Charna
I’m behind on my blog reading and I’m still shocked at all you have gone through this year. I’m a long time follower of yours and I’m so grateful for your willingness to share your life and to share your hope in Jesus, even when it doesn’t feel very hopeful. I too have been reading Jesus Calling and it has been so powerful to me to see the way that God intimately cares for our needs and brings light into our darkness. I will be praying for you and your family. You are a beautiful child of God and He loves you so much! =)
Dear Ashley,
I was so glad to read a post from YOU today! It’s obvious all of us “Ashley fans” are worried about you and are praying for your full recovery. Thank you for sharing your story including pictures. (Wow, that’s quite a scar.) What an inspiration you are! I will continue to keep you and your familly in my prayers. I am grateful for God’s protection over you and thankful to have you in my “virtual” life!
~Kathy from Seattle
I have so much admiration for the way you approach life. Goodness me, what your poor body and soul are going through right now! I’m so glad that you are home and surrounded by love and support.
You know what? YOU ARE MY HERO! Because if it were me in your shoes, I know I’d be throwing myself a pity party. Thank you fo rbeing so strong and brave and reminding us how precious life is. How amazing it is to be surrounded by love…and how, sometimes, it’s okay to post a pic of your butt. 🙂
Boo is the most BLESSED little girl in the world to have a mommy like you!
I’ve been praying for you ALL WEEK…and will continue to pray for you and your family.
God Bless You, Ashley
XOXOXO
Sending you healing vibes and a prayer for peace in your heart and mind and for your family too. God is great!
I love your blog and your candid post really touched me. My life hasn’t gone the perfect route I thought it would either – I’ve had 7 miscarriages over the past 8 years, with the great fortune to have my daughter who we adopted 5 years ago. I’m currently pregnant for the 8th time, only 6 weeks along, and already fear an impending miscarriage to make #8 – but I’m at peace with whatever the outcome. In some ways I wish I could just have a hysterectomy just so I could be out of the limbo and constant heartache I endure with each miscarriage, but I feel like the little engine that could, every time thinking – I think I can, I think I can. I’ve learned it is so painful when life does not work out the way we think it will.
I’m so glad you are also trying to be like the little engine that could. I know it has to be not only physically difficult, but an emotional battle to remain positive and remember the blessings you do have when something immensely devastating occurs to throw us from what (we believe) our intended path should be.
My prayers are with you and your family, and I hope for a complete recovery for you and a lifetime of happiness.
Oh my gosh. I’m speachless. I’m just catching up I’ve been in the land of the teaching, Ashley and I’m in utter shock at the moment. How in the world can you have gone through all of this and remain in such good spirits. You are definitely showing all of us, what choosing Joy is really all about, and I’m watching and listening every step of the way.
God Bless You, Ashley, and your sweet family.
xoxo,
Mia
I haven’t seen your blog in over a month since the ole computer died. Last time I was on you were ,I think ,going to find out what kind of chemo they were going to use. My goodness child,your life has been a constant battle. My prayers go out for your recovery from surgery and when you aren’t planning for what you did have it leaves you in a fog. Be very thankful,as I know you and your family are for your daughter,husband and loving family and friends.
Do not try to be Superwoman,take care of yourself and heal, mentally,physically and emotionally.
God IS watching over all of you..along with His golfing buddy…your dad.
god bless,
Terry
Hi Ashley,
I just found out about your blog while over at no big dill. A heartfelt thanks for sharing with us your journey. I suffer depression and was having a crappy day until I read some of your posts, they put my so called issues into perspective. I am blessed to have a loving family and my health. I am so pleased to read that your health is looking better an better each day, keep your chin up, I wish you all the best in the future and I am certain that 2012 will be a good year for you. I look forward to reading more good news about your health and life journey as I now follow your blog too. God bless, Emma.
ashley thank you for this. i wish i had this two years ago when i went in to the dr for one thing and came out with something i would have never guessed. i went in for knee pain while at basic training. i had a bone scan and then was told i needed an ultrasound because my left kidney looked to be blocked. after an ultrasound and a ct i was told to go to urology and i didnt know why. i had never been there and had no clue what was going on. the dr sat me down and told me that i had a mass on my kidney and it was about the size of a small basket ball. he said he would be suprized if it wasnt cancer and i was sent to a room where i could call my husband and tell him he needed to get here and i was having sergery to have it removed. and you should know that, that would be the first time i would be calling my husband from basic. i had a biopsy on that tumor and a spot on my liver. it came back negitive but because it was so large they would know for sure till after it was removed. i had sergery and too have a big scar from my hips to my sternum but un like you they went around my belly buttion. i ended up having my kidney removed along with some back mucel. the tumor had been pushing on my aorita and could have cut off my blood supply. i was in the icu and woke up like u with tubes every where mouth, nose, neck and u know the other place. well i got out of it ok and its been two years and nothing is growing back yet and my right kidney is functioning great. they told me that its been functioning like this for years while the tumor was growing. you have such a positive attiude that i wish i had someone like you while i was going through this. i thank you for being strong when some of us cant and i now know that i will choose joy.
Wow! What a scary thing to have happen to you! :O
I know what you mean about it breaking your heart knowing that some people go through medical stuff like that with very little/no support. I cannot imagine being in that kind of situation.
My condition is not as severe as I gather yours is (I’m an extremely new follower), but I know I could be, and would be, SO much worse off if I didn’t have the support system that I do.
It’s this that makes me really determined to do something worthwhile with this experience of mine. I want to use it somehow, like you’re using yours.
Ashley, I think you have stolen a piece of God’s heart… and he just can’t look the other way when it comes to you and your family. Be strong… and who knows may be your belly buttons will look menacing and mean now and you might even like it.
— dalis
You are Amazing beautiful lady! Stay strong, and do what you do best, Choose Joy!
My heart goes to you and i wish i could wave a magic wand over your head and make you better, lol. 🙂 You are a true inspiration no matter what!
Bless you so very much for your ability to be strong during all these trying times in your life. It seems that you have such a gift of sharing to others, that is so truly inspiring. We all should take a moment to remember people in tougher life challenges than our own. The Lord will bring us through it if we allow him to travel along the road.
Thank you so very much for sharing your very personal situation so we can all learn and be inspired by you.
Stay strong and inspired. 🙂