I’ve been singing that P. Diddy song all day…..it’s raining in the desert. It never rains in the desert.
I’m coming home
I’m coming home
I started singing it in the shower this morning because I was so excited that my chemo treatment was being transferred to the Lucy Curci Cancer Center here in the desert…..I felt like I was coming home finally…..no more traveling to Loma Linda. My sister and I went to see my doctor here and I feel like things will be so much more manageable from this point forward. When Dr. T walked in the room he only saw my sister and kind of did a double take…..and then saw me and asked “are you gals twins?”…..we laughed and said “not if we stand up!” (I’m like a foot taller than she is).
It’s hard to believe that two weeks ago tonight I was on an operating table completely unaware of what was going on. Today was the first time I’d seen Dr. T since he’d referred me to Loma Linda…..and he said “you have a light from above following you, the way things worked out and you are lucky to be alive.” It gave me chills. I lit up a little when he explained how rare the invasive nature of my tumor was and that they might publish a report on it.
My huge scar is healing really well….my stomach is just a little lumpy like everything hasn’t gone back to the right place yet…..but I’m starting to look normal from the outside. All the bruising is slowly fading. The hardest part of everyday is waking up. I’m usually a very early riser but I wake up with my insides burning so I stay in bed until about 9:30 every morning. I dread eating because the movement of my bowels is pretty painful. My chemotherapy is on Mondays…..so I don’t feel that great the first part of the week but I feel like it gets better as the week goes on…..but then it’s a cycle all over again.
My advice to anyone who has had a traumatic surgery or illness? Do all you can to make yourself feel pretty and normal…..even if it’s in baby steps. Have someone paint your toes or put lotion on your legs. Wash and brush your hair…..and try to get out of the house…..even if just to get the mail.
Things I took for granted before are completely awesome now…..like the bench in our shower. I don’t think I’ve ever used that bench before. Today I carefully shaved my legs in increments and sat down on the bench to rest. I’m figuring out ways to be more self sufficient and make things work:
:: If I have to bend down to pick something up I try to pull a chair over so I can help myself back up.
:: If I have to sneeze I’ve learned to open my mouth wide and the sneeze comes out fast without using stomach muscles. If I have to cough I grab a pillow and hold it tight.
:: To get in and out of bed I grab my legs like a Pilates roll to keep anything from pulling. I use the wood railing with my toes as a stool.
:: I can hold the very tippy end of my razor so I can reach my ankles to shave my legs so I don’t have to bend over too far. I have go-go-gadget arms….so that helps too.
:: I can use a TV tray table to type on my laptop. I can craft in increments of 10 minutes.
A few people have asked what Boo knows. She doesn’t know much. She just knows that Mommy was sick and in the hospital. But daily she says “Mommy, when the baby comes out……” and I have to remind her that there is no baby. Then she gets defensive “I KNOW….but one day when a baby comes out” and I’m not sure how to make it any more clear. It seems like I’m torturing her with each reminder that there is NO baby and there won’t ever be a baby in mommy’s tummy.
Right now I can only wear loose fitting clothing and spandex so after my doctor appointment I had my sister stop by the mall on the way home so I could pick up some more leggings. I haven’t worn underwear in 2 weeks…..I’m getting kind of used to it. Maybe I’ll never wear underwear again. Perry says there is going to have to be an intervention soon for the tacky leggings. I mean how often could I get away with wearing these pants? Yes, I bought 2 pairs. Totally 80’s and they rock. Thank you God for my surgery so I can wear tacky 80’s leggings.
We were at a stoplight and this horse was right next to us. He looked straight at me and nodded his head a few times as if to say “everything is going to be okay from here on out Ash”….I felt like it was that moment in the movie bridesmaids when Megan talks about falling off the cruise ship and a dolphin looked into her soul……I had a connection with a horse and I giggle hysterically everytime I think about it:
I didn’t…I’m not gonna say I survived. I say I thrived.
I met a dolphin down there.
And I swear to God, that dolphin looked not at me, but into my soul.
Into my {bleep} soul, Annie. And said; I’m saving you Megan.
Not with his mouth, but he said it, I’m assuming telepathically.
(from the movie Bridesmaids)
I’m pretty sure things are going to be great going forward…..because Perry got pooped on by a bird in the parking lot at the mall…..that’s good luck.
Perry leaves tomorrow morning. She was such a big help and as always was the life of the house singing, skipping, playing with Boo. I snapped a pic of her doing a Napoleon Dynamite-inspired dance for Boo and I one night….it’s a total action shot.
Tomorrow night my mother-in-law Kathy flies in for a while to help. We are so blessed to have so much help. Our fridge has been kept full of food and everyone has pitched in any way they can. I’m indebted forever!
Well, that’s my update for now. Thank you for reading as always. I think I rambled a little in this post but I had a lot of stuff to cram in. Yes I don’t wear underwear and I think a horse looked into my soul. I think my medication makes me a little loopy.
Ashley, you are truly an inspiration. I love reading your blobs. They are so positive. Your positivity has inspired me to be a more positive person. How amazing you must feel to know you inspire so many…your words are always beautiful and easy to read. I read your posts every night before bed…sends me to dreamland with happy thoughts! I’ve shared you with everyone I know…if only we all could be as amazing as you. Your husband is a lucky man and Boo is a lucky little girl! “Just Keep Swimming” with that smile on your face! 🙂
Honey, I have been going commando for years!
Ashley…you are thriving like the song says….and coming home!
Thanks for being brave to document all of this. The question about another baby reminds me of the pain I have when someone asks “no girl?” when I am with all of my boys. It is like a stab in the heart that reminds me that I do have a girl, she just isn’t here with me……
((((((HUGS))))))))
Ashley… I just love you and can’t wait to read your updates. I love the choose Joy bracelets, rather then choose depression which would be easy for both you and I to do. My husband is currently a cancer survivor of the same disease that took his father. We are in a period of awaiting test results as some problems have returned. @12 years out I really though maybe we beat this. It gets a little easier every year but then some abnormal tests come back and you start to wonder can I do this again. You always make me feel better. Your positive attitude helps me. That may sound weird but it really does.
Keep that beautiful smile on your face and I too will remember to choose joy…
I just cannot get over how upbeat you are. You right, though. You are blessed to have the help that you do. Together, you will all get through this. Much love!
You’re awesome….just flat out amazing!! I hope I can raise my girls to be like you– I think your mom should write a book!! Giant hugs to you and your beautiful family. xoxo
You are an inspiration Ashley! So very happy that things are going well, you and your family remain in my thoughts and prayers (((HUGS)))
You are amazing and an inspiration Ashley!
Still have you in my prayers…
I love reading your updates =), so glad your scar is healing well (looks awesome to me!!!) and your spirits are up as well. Good stuff. Now the leggings… no words, lol. Oh, and the horse is most definitely giving you a message!! Love ya!!!!
You are just TOO MUCH!!!!! How is it….that in your update post about such a serious health issue….I’ve laughed like a hundred times!!!!! And yes….surely Perry getting pooped on was good luck….at least for YOU! hahahahaha
xo
I thought your comments about being published in a medical book were cute. A picture of a portion of my head is published in various medicals books/journals. No, they didn’t let me doodle on it. 🙂 I have a rare vascular tumor, have had it for 31 years and counting. It’s a part of me, but I’d totally get rid of it if I could do it safely. But I can’t so I just move forward and sometimes I forget I even have it … Keep moving forward and pretty soon you’ll reach a new normal too. And this will all be in the past. …. Have a great weekend!
I’m so glad to hear things are going better. I love reading your updates…. You and Perry remind me of me and my sisters. Years ago I broke my leg snowboarding and had to learn to walk again. One day my sister took me to the mall to shop for some clothes besides boxers and tank tops… So were crossing from the parking lot to the mall enterance and there’s a Suburban coming. Sage hurries across, leaving me slowly limping along with my walker. I started laughing.g at the situation…how odd it must have been to the Suburban. So I yelled something to my sister, and turned like a deer in headlights to the suburban. It turned into one of those moments that only we think is funny. But such a great memory……. One yeah and I ended up peeing my pants laughing… I couldn’t stop from cathadar damage, etc. So made it worse with foot prints from pee…. And you thought you shared too much! Everything was funnier on top of funnier. Sometimes you just decide to laugh instead of cry. Thank you.
Ashley you are such a blessing to me. I am absolutely in awe of you and your amazing spirit and outlook. I don’t even remember now how it was that I found Lil Blue Boo, but I’ve always felt like you are a kindred spirit. Creative person. Snapping pictures of everything. And mom to a beautiful crazy fun amazing little girl. You have Boo. My sweetie is called “Bug” 🙂
We are praying for you all. Everything is going to be more than alright. Just keep doing what you do and know that there is a network of people surrounding you, loving you (even if we don’t *really* know you), and lifting you up.
Love & hugs to you!
Anne
I adore your honesty and completely unabashed explanations of things. I’m so happy to see you standing up in the mall with your sister and I also think when a bird poops on you it’s good luck. So you are due some!
Where did you get your Choose Joy bracelets? If you have a link I’d love it. Keep well, my prayers for you and yours continue, stay well.
You are one amazing woman, Ashley!! That’s all I have to say! 🙂
goodness my gracious everytime i read an update i am in awe of your unbreakable spirit. continuing to pray. god is good.
I love reading about your story, and the fact that you write about your bikini line and no undies. You’re great. Keep up the great attitude.
I am so glad things are looking up for you. I can just see and feel light shining through your words. You are a beautiful person and God is with you. Those 80s leggings are incredible. They wouldn’t still sell them 30 years later if they weren’t still totally awesome (okay, they would probably still sell them even if they weren’t- but they are!)
Thinking of you Ashley….I read your updates and it takes me back to a year ago…..so many similarities, only you have so much more courage and spirit than I ever did. I told my daughter that mommy’s tummy is broken and babies can’t grow there anymore….she doesn’t ask anymore, but it sure was hard at first…. I totally asked the same questions……like what happens now that my uterus is gone? I kept my ovaries (assuming you did too)…I guess they just float now….my cervix is gone….so that is crazy to think about too…my body is just different…my dr. was also going to have to report my case…..due to the rarity….you are doing amazing!!! I had a week of chemo….week off……my off weeks were the best…i felt somewhat “normal” again…it will all be behind you soon!! Can’t wait to read about your next BIG hcg drop! xo Amy
Ashley! You are my hero…only you could rock out to a puff daddy song as inspiration for healing…you continue to surprise! Stay strong! Rest! Live each day as a gift! You are beautiful inside and out!
You are amazing, Ashley!
You have such a great attitude. I am new to your site & enjoy reading about how you are doing. Keep smiling 🙂
It makes my heart happy to read this post Ash. You are simply amazing and such an inspiration to so many.
This post really made me smile. I think in the way you’d want it to make someone smile. From the inside out.
Also, you look awesome in leggings. Wish I could say the same for me!
love your spirit and outlook. I lost my uterus and cervix 2 years ago due to a rare form of precancer that had started. all a major shock totally out of the blue. spent a week at UCSD in the special unit, no family or friends too come visit other then the husband and kids one night… saw them for 10 minutes because I was rushed to have a ct scan because I felt as if a elephant was sitting on my chest. fast forward to coming home it was the worst experience ever never felt so horrible in my life…oh pooping was the worst I cried and cried and thought it would never come out! I still go to the moores cancer center in san diego for check ups but I just had to let you know what got me thru the days that I wanted to crawl in a hole was a bay gelding named Ace. We have a ranch and he is the gelding that I ride and show english. He would look into my eyes wrap his head around my shoulder as if telling me its ok you can make we wil ride together again very soon. He spoke to my soul and 8 weeks later he carried me around in the arena in our first show together since the loss of my girly parts with my belly flopping along. The trainer said I turned white as a ghost and they thought I want going to make it but I won every class that weekend that ace and i showed in all because he spoke to my soul that I could do it, it was all going to be ok, and he would be waiting for me…. I still have moments of sadness over the loss of my parts but then again I’m here on this earth to raise the children God has blessed me with. Thinking and praying for you and that grey horse did speak to your soul….
Ah, I just saw Bridesmaids last night and I keep playing over and over in my head when that Megan chick is in the airplane and she throws her leg up on the door frame and says, ‘Oh yeah, I can go higher than that” to the air marshall guy. And then when they are chasing Annie down the hall of the plane and she comes out of nowhere and slams her to the ground…..ah, it was too much.
I agree with said commenter above about the P.Did song….very nice entrance to t he post there.
Keep getting well, and give Boo a big fat high five hug from me (and all of your LBB fans)
Ashley, you rock – I’m so happy I stumbled across your blog weeks ago! Once again your writing made me smile. Keep your attitude and you’ll be just fine! I went for an annual physical today and had a chuckle with my doctor. I have no uterus, colon, rectum due to surgeries . My doctor has had both breasts removed and hysterectomy as well. So we joked that there isn’t much left so our checkups get shorter and easier!
You have a lovely way of viewing life. Thank you for sharing!
U r truely amazing!! I love reading your post and love how open u are!! U have made me laugh and cry a lot in the past 2 weeks.. Thank u!!
Reading this commando in leggings while getting choked up about Brett getting choked up…
I love how hilariously honest and candid you are inspite of all that has happened. This post was rambly and silly and perfect because it let me know that you’re getting better. I don’t think I’ll ever have the guts to go commando, but I fully support whatever feels good for you lady!
I’m so happy that you are doing well Ashley! I love reading your blog and your updates about how you’re doing with everything that you are going through. I never take the time to ready other blogs that have so much written in them, but I find myself drawn to yours due to your amazing energy, talent, and zest for life that you have. You are such an inspiration talent wise as well as spiritually. I think it’s a wonderful thing that you are discussing so much of your surgery and treatments that you are going through, no one ever knows what others are going through when they are faced with situations as this, it helps all of us to understand more. Keep going forward and stay well.
xo, Jacque 🙂
You are awesome! My husband had an emergency colectomy 7 years ago. I have seen how hard the recovery from the belly cut is. I am forever indebted to the friends and family that helped our family get through that time. Your outlook is amazing. Thank you for being so real!
Glad you are home now 🙂
The song is about heaven though but I suppose since it is saying coming home it is fitting! When I first saw you say that I thought Whattha?? She’s going HOME??
Thriving – yes you are! 🙂
Karen
Heh, reading this makes me want to take a few pieces of clothing off!
I hope that horse is right. And, I’m pretty sure you could wear anything- leggings from the 80s or otherwise- and look gorgeous. I hope people don’t ask too many awkward questions of you all, and that Boo ‘gets it’ and doesn’t ask too. That’s got to be terribly rough. Love your humor and detail and glimpse into your life…
So fun to read and see your love of life! I was wondering the same thing about what happens when you don’t have a uterus anymore. And, yes, TMI on the no panties. I’m guessing Mr. LBB will enjoy that soon. 😉
Thank you for sharing you. Every time I start feeling sorry for myself, I think of you and your choice for joy in everything you do and you make me feel better! I would LOVE one of your bracelets.
Please keep sharing. Like I’ve said before, you make me feel like we’re best friends with everything you share. And, as your BFF, I have to be honest and tell you the print leggings are too much! Please don’t put your pretty butt in those horrid things!! Can’t Lisa make you some cute LBB adult ones with cute stripes or stars or something? Ruffles on the legs?
I tried to tell her they were horrid, but that made her want to buy them even more! haha
I’m one of those followers who never comments, but I just want to say that I am in complete awe and admiration of your courage and faith. Keep your chin up girl, though I don’t think I really needed to say that at all.
Oh and your leggings rock 😉
So glad things are looking up. I always have to check in to see how you are doing, you are an inspiration to us all. I just wanted to remind you that there is more than one way to have another baby. While I know it isn’t the same as being pregnant, the end result of adoption is just as sweet. We went through fertility with no luck and then adopted two perfect children…. when our middle one was 6 months old we found out we were pregnant. Having gone down both roads, I can honestly say that it doesn’t matter how you get there… when you hold a little baby in your arms you love them the same. I know the ache of wanting to be pregnant again but it doesn’t have to stop you from knowing the joy of having another child!
I don’t personally know you, but I already love you; you ARE such an inspiration.!! Thanks for the love you transmite and inspire, God bless you and your beautiful family:-)
Oh Ashley, you are too funny! If you never wear underwear again, I’m sure Brett could get used to that!!!! I am so glad things are looking better, especially your stomach! We’ll pray for the eating and pooping. Nothing is too silly for God!
I agree with everything that has already been said. You are truely amazing and I love reading your posts. xxxx
Wonderful post! A great reminder that we can persevere and find joys in everything. Thanks!
So glad things are going better for you. I only just started reading your blog a few days ago and had to go back for the backstory – what a read! Love your designs.
Loved reading this post! I am cracking up right now…and completely in awe of you and your positive attitude. You are an inspiration and I pray for you and your family every day. xoxo
I am so glad that you are getting better day by day. You have gone through such a hard time but you take the things so easy and you don’t loose your faith and humor. I admire you! Get well soon. Your friend from Germany- Atika
thank you for taking the time to teach us how to thrive and live our life fully…how many of us with none of this don’t live as fully in joy as you. You are such an inspiration – keep singing!
Ash, I think the reason so many of us are so dedicated to your blog is that you “keep it real”…..you don’t sugar coat it and make it seem like life is a vacation at the Ritz all the time. I’m so glad that you are doing small steps to make yourself feel more like you. I totally get it, when I had belles palsy, my sight was messed up and I could not drive or stand upright for almost 8 weeks, and Lilly Kate was almost 2 at the time. I had to lay around and let everyone around me do everything for me {SO NOT LIKE ME AT ALL}…I remember having to sit in the shower and have my husband wash my hair, I cried through the entire thing. I like you learned to adapt, I covered one of my eyes with a patch which helped with the standing part 🙂 I slowly did stuff that made me feel like me….like it took me a week to put Christmas lights on our tree, but that is MY thing and I wanted to do it.
Yeah for you and you can wear no underwear and 80’s leggings as long as you need….that is what makes us moms special, we are showing our girls that it is what we are like on the inside that matters 🙂 So glad for the update and have a great weekend.
Ashley, you are amazing!! We’re all cheering you on!
Love reading the updates. I think about you all often. So glad treatment is closer to home. Saying prayers for you all.
Thanks for making me smile. Im so happy your feeling better and sending lots of {{{{HUGS}}}}}}. Will continue to keep you all in my prayers
Michelle
Congrats Ashley! I’m glad your better, I just had my 4th c-section 2 weeks ago. I’m totally with you on the leggings :). If I find any tacky pairs I’ll send you a picture ;P.
I love reading your updates and humor. I know you’ll make it to get that bracelet really quick. Just take it one day at a time.
I know how you all feel w/the having babies questions and comments. Yes, its sad and awkward. It’s been 12 years for us and is still somewhat sad and awkward. We adopted two children and know for sure they were meant for us, eventhough He used a different womb to get them to us. When our children ask about more children, I simply tell them that my belly doesn’t work for babies, just food. The Lord brings the babies to us when He wants another baby to be part of our family. Not that you are considering adoption, but the cool thing about it is that adoption has no age limit. As we get older, we are just the right age to adopt older children…. His plan is always perfect.
I’m praying for your full healing and the healing of your family, too. Because I know to well that this isn’t just a physical healing.
You are a Blessing!!!!!
So glad you are thriving 🙂 You rock those leggings!
You have such an amazing attitude as you go through this journey. In regards to being unable to have children my husband and I have been there, done that and your right it will take time. Please don’t beat yourselves up over the emotions you may have, it’s natural to feel that way but time does heal. We are praying for you and your family. God Bless!
I love your updates, you are so inspiring and positive I love that about you. I know we don’t know each other but you are truly an amazing person who has touched so many lives and so many more to come I’m sure. Thanks for sharing your stories with me and your day to day life. I’ve been struggle for a few years with kidney disease and your updates are very inspiring thanks again.
I know what it’s like to have small children while being sick, just take it one day at a time and keep doing what you are doing by keeping communication going.
Take care hugs and love
Love your sense of humor! And your sister seems like a riot! I am so glad you are doing better! I love all the little tidbits you share! Makes people realize, what I already knew, that you are human! You are a great gal!! And I am sure boo loves all the visitors!!
Ashley, do you have a Caring Bridge site? I know your blog, and your contributions to Babble take up alot, but if you have not heard of it yet, check out the site. People can even make contributions, to research and care! I have had 4 friends with little girls battling 2 different types of cancer, a rare genetic disease, and heart disease.
Thanks for keeping us up to date, and for not just keeping it pretty. 🙂 We see too much of that online and everywhere else, so to be honest, it’s nice to have someone give the gritty details of their reality. I think you would give much hope to readers who are dealing with cancer- you tell it like it is while keeping a sense of humor about the painful realities of your life. I think these things keep us from feeling alone. Anyways, glad you’re healing and your chemo is working!!
hat horse to dolphin reference was hilarious. I swear I watch bridesmaids at least once a week. And I’m a bit jealous you can wear only leggings. I love wearing only leggings and I honestly hate wearing underwear so…it’s all good. Glad you are feeling better!
Underwear are overrated… It is very liberating to go commando once in a while (or everyday). I adore your attitude, strength and perseverance. Thank you for sharing your experiences in a genuine, honest and matter of fact manner. XOXO.
Yeah people will ask ‘sensitive’ questions about having more kids. You might have to make a ‘calling card’ that says, Yes, Boo is fabulous, a first edition, but sadly last too, due to an operation we were not planning on. OR SOMETHING??? so much easier than talking about it over and over. When I had laryngitis I had a card for people to read. So much easier than squawking at them.
You are amazing. Keep the joy & the laughter in your life……that is what life is all about!!
I endured a lot of painful baby questions for many years which were unintentional (but none the less hurtful). As someone that finally became a mommy through adoption…I can assure you…you most certainly can have more children…just not give birth again. It is best to pre plan some good answers to those kinds of questions. For example, after I adopted people would comment that things didn’t work out as I planned and I would answer, “That’s right…they worked out even better!” I’m praying that things work out “even better” for you too.
And I’m sorry to say this…by as a teen in the 80s…even I can’t stomach those leggings…I’m with Perry on that one…intervention PLEASE! :O
Have fun with mom. Wish I could be there, too! Eat as much as you can before Monday! Love you guys sooo much! So thankful for all of you. Glad you have had so much help. Keep up the wonderful attitude. You are such an inspiration!!!!
Love,
Kiki
Love all your updates and so look forward to them. Praying the chemo, your strong and amazing spirit and God who loves you, together kick cancer’s butt!
How amazing to have such great family support, it truly makes a world of difference! Love and strength are shared among a family, and you will all pull through together. Lots of hugs from Texas.
Thank you for your blog. It is inspiring and beautiful. We are having some medical issues with our baby and so we spend alot of time in the hospital too. Feel free to look at my blog to see our sweet baby’s journey. Stay positive!
thank you for sharing your story. I am inspired by your strength, outlook and faith. I am wishing you a rapid recovery and many arms to embrace you. Best wishes!
I’ll so glad you are doing well….thanks for the glance into your life! You have motivated me to go shave my legs and bikini line…which I have neglected for months and I haven’t had anything traumatic happen..:-)
Have a wonderful weekend!
Ok, those leggings are cracking me up!! You gotta laugh, right? Glad to see you are feeling better! I know you are an inspiration to many!
I must be hormonal because your post brought tears of joy to my eyes!! God Bless & be with you on your journey. Hugs!
It is really amazing that you are doing so much in so short a time! When the sad thoughts come, remind yourself that you are alive to enjoy the daughter you have. It is all a miracle.
You know…I think I couldn’t like you more…then I read another one of your blog posts and I am proven wrong. You are one cool chica. You really are an exceptional person. I hope one day Boo does get her sibling. And that child will be blessed to be in your family….however he or she makes it to you. Hang in there.
I’m so sorry that you have to endure all of this but glad to see you are doing your best to stay so upbeat. You are such an inspiration!! Attitude is everything and you definately have the right one!
Take it slow and feel better!!! xo
You are so amazing. Thank you for sharing. My dad is going through chemo and it’s been interesting (and heart breaking) to see how he is dealing with it. He eats two bites of food and feels full for the whole day. He’s just so happy there is no nausea that he doesn’t mind that he hasn’t been able to eat much. Seeing him go through chemotherapy has made me realize that people can be so strong. Reading your blog posts makes me happy to know that people from all walks of life both young and old are making life a priority. Thank you.
A wonderful post that made me smile. You continue to be an inspiration to us all.
Thanks Ashley for the update. It was so good to see your blog tonight and as always your whit and truthfulness have been inspirational! Believing that your chemotherapy works for you and not against you and that you will be back in the saddle 100%very soon! Love you too and and praying for you and your family. Btw, how is Cole doing?
Ashley, another blogger recommended I read your blog. My daughter is ill also. Today I posted I was choosing to focus on joyful happy things and she told me I had to come over here. Your blog is so uplifting and I pray this demon is completely gone to never return again. You truly are blessed to have so much family to help you and I know it will factor into your healing. Prayers for you and your family.
Ashley, you are such an inspiration! I totally agree with all of your advice on how to move when recovering from surgery! Four years ago I was diagnosed with uterine cancer and had to have a total hysterectomy – these tips would have been so helpful for me then – especially the one on sneezing!
I continue to pray for you and your family and I appreciate you sharing your life with us out here in blogland!
What an AWESOME entry. Thanks for always being so candid with your life, and your thoughts. I ‘m sure it is awkard being asked about doing it again (prego). But, God has BIG plans for you that aren’t known just yet. Maybe someday you can think about other ways to fill that area in your life. Take care, and keep choosing JOY. By the way way my son lived off of Gatorade (the blue flavors) when he was on Chemo, it did great thing for his labs (:D).
Wow! Happy to hear you’re on the road to recovery. I just made a turn for the better & feel as though I was healed through the power of prayer. No joke. I was sick for 2.5 months. I’m just getting my life back. I will write a post very soon & share w/all. It was truly a miracle. =)
So glad to hear you are turning that corner, praying your chemo treatment will be relatively easy and you will look back in many years and count yourself blessed.
Keep up the inspiring work…
Many Blessings
Amanda
I wish you soo much well!!! I hope you can feel how much we,who follow you everyday, love you!!! Lots of love Feddy
Ashley, I’m glad you are doing well and I agree, painting your nails and doing your hair is important. So is doing your legs, etc, ESPECIALLY if you’re the only one who sees it!
I had a hysterectomy almost two years ago, I remember the tiredness and akwardness and pain afterwards and how much long it seemed to take to recover. And I didn’t have chemo to go through.
You seem to be doing pretty well, keep it up. I know you’ll be having down days when you feel exhausted and want to cry. Crying’s ok, just a little bit. You’ve got to let the stress out somehow otherwise it just builds up.
Keep looking after yourself, pace yourself and do what ever makes you happy.
Fingers crossed for you.
love Claire
You are amazing!
P.S. Pineapple juice helps get rid of the bruising. Just another way to get back to “normal”… {hugs}
I’ve been reading your blog for quite awhile and this is the first time I’m leaving a comment. (I’m always afraid I’ll write something that’ll come out the wrong way, cause I’m just good like that, I guess! LOL!) Just wanted to let you know that you are such an inspiring and amazing woman and that I’ve shared your story with my family (who are praying for a complete recovery for you). You are so blessed to have such a wonderful family and even more blessed that you realize it! Awesome! (Okay, enough of the mushy stuff!) As for the not wearing underwear, I haven’t worn any for years! Well, except on the occassions of having to wear a dress or a skirt (don’t wanna pull a Britney Spears!) Although, I had a wedding to go to out-of-state and I totally forgot to bring my undies. When I went to take a shower to get ready, I realized that and didn’t have time to go shopping either! Oops! That was probably the only time I’ve ever felt so uncomfortable, but it was a good thing the dress went down to my ankles! Anyway, speaking of rambling, I could go on and on and on, so I won’t make this a novel! LOL! Anyway, praying and hoping you heal quickly!
Hi Ashley,
I’m a long time lurker but have never posted before. I am so glad that you are coming through this very tough ordeal. Your optimism is so inspiring to me.
When I had my gall bladder out, I wore these really horrible looking sweats for about two weeks. Even longer in the privacy of my home. I couldn’t wear underwear either LOL!
I hate when people ask if/when you are going to have another baby. I am a mother of three and actually wanted to have more but due to medical reasons, it’s not very safe for me to be pregnant. I know it’s not the same as your situation, but it really irks me when people ask. I think because I am Mormon people just expect me to have more. And I am not very open about my medical condition so that makes it kinda akward to answer.
Praying that you continue to recover both mentally and physically.
Hugs
Clair
I love that you are slowly feeling a little better. I am still praying for you and your family!
Oh my gosh the part about Boo asking about the baby really got me. I recently went through a traumatic situation that left us having to do in vitro if we want more kids (we do!). I know I am so fortunate to even have that option but I can relate so much to your feelings. My 4 year old asks a lot about “the baby” and told me he is “all the way sad” that I am not having one anymore. Heart. ripped.out. I have found the more I break it down to explain it to him the more it makes it simpler for me to understand. And like you I am choosing joy. I am about 2 months out form my experience and I can tell you that “choosing joy” works. I decided in the hospital that I would only ask one thing of God and that was peace of mind. He has given it to me without fail and that has allowed me to be joyful. Really truly joyful even on the days when I just don’t know the answers. I am sure you already do, but look at it all as a gift. You have an exciting, unknown future ahead and you will be more aware of things since you went through this. Like connecting with a horse 🙂 I swear I know exactly how you felt at that moment…its like the whole world is talking to you. Thanks for sharing your story…
Glad to hear you are feeling better! Just wanted to share my story, it may help you with Boo’s questions. I was 33 when I had my hysterectomy. I had 2 children and my son was just a little over 3 at the time and he was the biggest question asker of all time! He wanted to know why I was going to the hospital so here’s how I explained it. “The doctor is going to take my cradle out. That’s the place where you slept in my tummy before you were born and now I don’t need it anymore”. He seemed satisfied with that answer. Knowing how kids take everything literally he probably envisioned a wooden cradle thinking “no wonder mom’s stomach hurts”! lol! My surgery was not as invasive as yours, but once I felt human again I never looked back! It didn’t create any adverse effects in my life.
A mom/grandma in Canada!
you are truely amazing!!! its sooooo easy to be down and out and woe is me, and its really hard to put all that aside and make yourself be happy! i commend you for that!!! and im sure not every moment is giggles and positive attitudes, but thats ok. and i needed this reminder today, to keep my head up and face whatever this life is gonna throw at me!!! i choose joy!!!
and i also have go go gadget arms, however, i thought i was the only one on the planet that said that!!!
Your site used to make me giggle, now it warms my heart. What a fun place. So happy you are on the road to recover, you look great btw…And no undies, pick a day, we’ll all do it with ya! Well at least I will 🙂
We lost our baby when we were 20 weeks pregnant and it was almost a year ago and my four year old daughter totally freaks her grandmothers out all the time because she randomly talks about when we get our baby. I am not sure if she just still wants a baby soooo bad that she keeps on talking about it or if she does not remember. I always kindly remind her that we are not having a baby right now and she will say oh but when we are then we need to do…..or need to get..or need to save this outfit or that one… It is really hard to know how to help the little ones understand.
Love reading your stories Ashely, and no you aren’t weird! Horses are well known to be very intuitive and healing. I have no doubt this horse was looking into you soul, they recognize beauty and gentle spirits, which is YOU>
You were so blessed to connect with the horse. Keep getting stronger , prayers are still coming your way. love and prayers, Joy (in Seattle) xoxo
Loved reading the update! Prayers are with you 🙂
Uh, completely in tears here. “This part will take a little while for us.” Yes. We weren’t even planning on having more children but I HAVE NO FREAKING UTERUS so it is never, ever, ever an option. Ever again. EVER.
That takes awhile to swallow and I don’t know how to get that across to someone who hasn’t been there. I will NEVER ask someone if they “want more children” again. It’s an innocent enough question but when you’ve just come out of something so traumatic it’s a bit like the asker is holding a loaded gun.
“I guess my intestines have more room.”
Ha.
Thanks for suggesting Bridesmaids, best movie I’ve seen in a LONG time! It makes me think of you now! hehehe