I think this week will be my 16th week running on chemotherapy. I’ve been going since October 24th….and there’s no definitive end right now. If we stop, the tumors grow. Thinking about that big bag of toxic chemicals right now makes me a little nauseous….I can almost taste it just thinking about it even though it goes through an IV. I ate a leftover jelly doughnut just now to get that out of my head. Today I feel a little like I got hit by a truck…..but I expected it. The steroids they give me are a little like crack……they keep me going, and going, and going until I crash a few days later. The Neulasta shot makes my bones and joints feel like someone took a baseball bat to them.
For some reason I thought today was the 7th and I read the wrong day of my Jesus Calling this morning (no!!!!) but it ended up being the perfect message as usual:
Come to me for rest and refreshment. The journey has been too much for you, and you are bone-weary. Do not be ashamed of your exhaustion. Instead, see it as an opportunity for ME to take charge of your life.
Remember that I can fit everything into a pattern for good, including the things you wish were different. Start with where you are at the point in time and space, accepting that this is where I intend you to be. You will get through today one step, one moment at a time.
Me and my niece Courtney…her little lip was trembling…she makes my heart melt!
So what keeps me moving forward on week 16?
I wake up every morning and just pretend that I’m not sick.
I approach the day as if there were nothing cancerous in my body.
I thank God for giving me the energy to shower, dress myself, hug my hubby and play with Boo.
I’ll find the energy to write something and maybe make something.
Today is Monday and it will be an awesome day!
Everything will fit into a pattern for good.
XOXO,
Ash
You are a phenomenal woman, Ashley. Thank you for your continuous inspiration!
Thank you for sharing this journey in your life with us. It is inspiration beyond measure!
I definitely don’t think you thought it was the 7th on accident, at least not with that book. God wanted it to be that way and you read it a day early. Gave me chills! Praying for you, try and rest when you can. You truly are such an inspiration to the rest of us.
You truly are amazing. I read your blog daily and often times what you say brings tears to my eyes! Thank you for sharing this journey with the world.
I couldn’t agree more, it seems a perfect Jesus Calling moment. Your an amazing lady! I can’t say it enough. Happy Monday to you Ashley!
i love that photo, it makes me smile!
thank you so much for sharing the quote, that is a message I needed to hear. Sending prayers & good thoughts your way!
Ashley –
I’ve become a huge fan and follower (though I have no little girls to buy for). I love reading your story because I believe in your happy ending. I wish for the day when you have to stretch your mind to find something to write about because cancer is in the past. Your vivaciousness and tenacity for life is so inspiring. Keep on keeping on…your beauty is brighter than the sun! <3
Happy Feb. 7th, Ashley. That was the perfect message for you today.
I’m sorry your body is taking such a beating, but you are such an incredibly strong, courageous, hopeful, and inspiring woman. You will make it through this!
I am praying for you and hope you have a beautiful day!
What an adorable baby! I just received the book Jesus Calling and it has been so good! Hope your day gets better:)
Oh Ashley, I have tears in my eyes – you truly are a warrior woman of God, a blessing to everyone around you <3 I love that you get to read Feb 7 message again tomorrow too, double reminder 🙂
I pray for you as often as I think of it. Be strong and courageous xo
Keep looking up! God can do amazing things to those who fully trust in him, and reading the Psalms and those short NT books (1 a day) have changed my outlook on life and the struggles I face with my own health. May God’s healing power be at work with your chemotherapy!
You are such an inspiration!
Serendipity! Happy Feb. 7th =) thank you for sharing your story. I think about your Joy and Grace and how you inspire me to be just as joyous. Stay joyous ♥
AMEN!
You just have to keep L-I-V-I-N!
Today is a good day made even better for having read this post. You have such an amazing spirit Ashley and you continue to be an inspiration to me! Warm, Positive, Healing thoughts and energy coming your way as always (((HUGS)))
Hi, Ashley –
I hope you do not tire of us telling you that you are an inspiration – because you are. Today, as I read your post about the “wrong” day’s reading, I am so humbled, and feel unworthy to come here and nudge myself into your life.
I think our Dads have found each other in heaven – they must have, how esle did I find you and your beautiful blog.
Jesus sure knows what you needed to hear today, and from you, what we all needed to hear today, at least, I needed it.
Your niece looks a little taken aback by the camera, as we sometimes are taken aback by our God.
May your day be filled with Jesus’ presence.
Patricia
Thank you so much for sharing all that is going on in your life. I know it must be hard to be so completely honest and open about how you feel. Every day I get on here to see what you have to say and it’s always the perfect thing for me to read. It either makes a bad day better with your humor or it makes me put things into perspective & I realize where my priorities are & where they need to be. Thank you. I think of you every day & I hope and pray that the Lord heals you & leaves you here on this earth for many years to come.
What a great outlook. My uncle is going thru chemo right now. He is so tired he sleeps most of the time. My aunt said the other day when she was climbing into bed with him he said: ” A beautiful woman is in my bed, I must be the luckiest man in the world.”… precious.
I really love this post Ashley! Keep up the faith and trust in God’s plan 🙂 Thank you for your inspirational posts!
I love it when God speaks just the perfect words to us!
I had a brain tumor a few years ago – and didn’t even get a taste of what you’re going through. I can only imagine. Praying for you! I’ll never forget the “Daily Bread” teaching for my difficult day a few years ago. God’s perfect timing, just what we need.
Thank you for sharing your story. I have been able to share your story with my Mom (who has just been diagnosed with breast cancer and getting a mastectomy this month). I bought a bunch of Choose Joy bracelets for her to share with her friends.
You know there’s a big world out here ready to help you (and others) who are struggling! Just ask!
Ash,
You make me want to be a more positive person today, and every day. I love you so much!
I know you’re probably not thinking too much about such ‘shallow’ things right now, but can I just say that I think you look great with no hair! That picture is fantastic – you’re really working it!
I’m so humbled and impressed by your approach to everything you’re dealing with. I wish you the best and hope it doesn’t come to a ‘Week 26’ post.
All the best,
Megan.
xoxo
You are as beautiful as ever and your niece is precious! That message was absolutely PERFECT for me today too, so thank you so much for sharing it.
simply stated: You are incredible.
wow – I love what that book said – God DOES have it all planned out & He is so good! He will provide everything you NEED to get through this day & next! That IS one thing I know. And YOU my friend, AMAZE me every day – you ARE a ROCK STAR! Have a great day!
I so needed ur motivation today! Thank you! Ps the party looked absolutely amazing and I just love it when u write bits like “it’s super easy to make” and I think to myself she has no clue what it’s like for the non crafty!!!!!!! Joy :o)
I just finished my 16th round of chemo and am feeling “run over” myself. But then, I get two weeks off in between and your 16 weeks of chemo humbles me in a big way. There is no end in sight for me either- and that is both the grit and the glory of the story 🙂 Several friends have recommended Jesus Calling to me… I am convinced, I must get it too. Thanks for getting the dates wrong- those words blessed me immensely!!
Ashley,
You are doing a wonderful job as if cancer was not in your body. You often inspire me to get off my butt to create, inspire others and to play like a child with my daughter. I lost my Dad early last year also. So, sometimes it’s hard but then I read that you have done or said something amazing. Then the rest of my day I choose to be a nicer, funnier, and more energenic person to be around.
Thank you,
Amy
Aw sweet picture, Ashley you are a beautiful soul . Hope you have a blessed day as you have blessed me with this blog today 🙂
All I can is “WOW” you are one amazingly strong Woman of God! God Bless you and your family! Praying for you!
You truly are an inspiration to everyone….for those of us who complain about waking up early to get things done. For me who complains of feeling queezy in the morning and prayin morning sickness doesnt kick in too soon.
I have you in my thoughts and prayers daily and when I feel tired and wiped out I just think at how you manage to make everyday a great day!
Blessing to you, Boo and Mr. Cooper (lol, he does have great hair)
MJ
Lucky 7 Design
Hi Ashley,
I just wanted to leave a comment…I have been following your blog for a few weeks now and todays post really touched me. You are such an inspiration and you inspire me to choose joy and embrace life. I hope you have a wonderful day! Much love, and you are in my prayers.
Ashley, you make me want to be a better person. Because of you, I smile more, I try harder, I ignore the stuff that could get me down. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Keep on truckin’, sistah.
You are such an inspiration. Many prayers to you. I too am reading Jesus Calling. Now I will think of you at each reading.
Ashley – I have been reading your blog since I found your cute clothes for my 3 year old in early 2011. I had two miscarriages last year and it was so hard to find someone to relate to so – thank you for sharing your story to help others. I live in LA and go to the desert often (I’ve even considered stalking you!) – just teasing – a little. I have been sharing your blog with many others and everyone is so moved by your journey and your incredible spirit. I can’t believe that it has been 16 weeks, that is tremendous. Saying prayers for you and your family.
I have always believed that the number 7 has wonderful meaning….Complete…so on this “7th” day…give all things to him Completely…;-0)
*And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made. And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made.
God introduced the Number Seven as a symbol of the completion of His initial creative act.
Simply beautiful…love it. Thanks for posting…:)
xoxo
What a lovely photo…You are beautiful. And your strength is so inspirational. Thank you!
You Ashley, are such an amazing inspiration!!!
Amen Sista! 😉
Amen! You are precious! Prayers for you & your family that it is God’s will to heal you.
You’re amazing. Simply amazing. xo
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE.
Praying for you sweet lady.
i believe in that happy cancer free ending Ashley 🙂
Wow…what a powerful and inspirational prayer! As said…take time to rest, and grow stronger with each day. Ashley…you are absolutely amazing. I think of you everyday and pray that you will be healed.
Love you,
Cousin Vicki
I admire your attitude so much, after all you’ve been through I am amazed at how honorably you handle it all! You are an inspiration to many!
You have no idea what a blessing and inspiration you are to me. Thanks for sharing all that you do. I read your blogs and then I fill in everyone I know on what’s happening with you. I know people think I’m crazy since I haven’t even ever met you but that’s ok. I told my husband this week that I know I don’t really “know” you but still I love you. I can’t wait until my choose joy necklace get’s here!
Praying for you ~ healing, strength, rest, peace, comfort. God is in control. You are being used for His honor and glory.
Thank you Ashley
all I can say is… wow… God is using you as you lean on him.
Maybe these little cuties will bring a smile to your face today! Every time I see a donut ANYTHING, I think of you and smile. 😀
http://www.etsy.com/listing/85101477/mini-fun-donut-earrings-7-pairs
(no, I have no connection to this person at all….just saw them and thought of you)
I lifted my breakfast donut to you this morning in salute.
The message you shared today is just what I needed to hear! Thank you! I am working on opening a homelike respite location for our friends and neighbors living with a cancer diagnosis and although I have only been working on it for 13 months, sometimes it seems much longer when things do not proceed as quickly as I think they should!
Today was one of these days…until I read your posting. It reminded me to be patient and take everything as it comes. I believe so passionately in this mission that I can never give up, but my human impatience for everything to happen a certain way, is sometimes very unproductive!
The name of our non-profit is MOMENTS HOUSE so quotes that include the word “moment” always has a special meaning to me. We will all get through this, one moment at a time!
Peace and blessings to you and your beautiful family!
Thank you for your inspiration! Your attitude is so uplifting and will get you through this. Praying for you to be healed.
Ashley, I have been a lurker for a long time, but I just had to post a comment and let you know how very inspirational you are. Keep fighting – you are doing a GREAT job! Thank you for reminding me to appreciate what I have and to remember to try to fit in some creating everyday because it feeds my soul. I will continue to keep you in my daily prayers.
I hope you have a wonderful Monday and that tomorrow you will have an even better Tuesday! Thinking of you often!! Kelly
You are f-ing amazing!! And yes, that is short for “eff” 🙂
Courtney melts my heart, too! As for reading the wrong day, God puts in your path what you need. It may have said February 7th on the page, but it was not the wrong day. Each day of life is a treasure. My kids often make the connection between events in my and Gene’s lives and their being here. Life is such a gift and you sure do treat it that way. Love you so much, Ash. Take care of yourself and continue to let others take care of you.
I love your attitude. <3
Just stopped by to say your AWESOME!!!!!!!
wow, just wow!
You make me feel guilty for sitting here wasting time. The difference between you and me……. you are amazing, I’m just stuck in my thoughts.
Hello Dearest Ashley,
I just wanted to tell you that you have one more person praying for you and your family. My husband and I are from Texas, and we are currently living in Spain. It is thought by the locals here, that if you enter a church you have never visited, the prayers you offer there will be especially loud to God’s ears. I will pray for you and I wish you all the love, peace, health, and JOY everyday for countless days to come.
Much love,
Crystal
thatta girl. luv your spirit..
Beautiful scripture. Thanks for sharing.
THAT IS THE CUTEST BABY!!!
The WW pasta fabric makes great tortillas, too.
As I struggle with some minor health issues myself I can’t help but think of you all the time. You are my inspiration. I look forward to your posts every day.
God is so good – I’m so glad He gave you that to read today!
Today we were having a class discussion about the significance of the number 7, both in the novel we’re reading and in other places in the world. One student mentioned how the number 7 appears often in the Bible. Then I read your post. Amazing!
One day at a time…
Beautiful post and beautiful picture Ashley. Praying for you as always, God Bless You!
You’re amazing…
Thank you so much for sharing. It helps me to know I am not the only one that pretends.
Beautiful picture, beautiful words. Thank you and I’m continually amazed by your attitude. Love reading your words every day.
What a gorgeous photo! And what a gorgeous person you are. Truly a pattern for good that we should all aspire to.
Ashley, wow, your story is so inspiring. I came across your name on SNAP. Every once in awhile I search for people that I think would one day be nice to read about. Random people. How fun I found your blog. I wish you many blessings this year as your fight your battle. I am taking my kids to Palm Desert this April for some r&r (husband has to work) and we all go again next November. Maybe one of these times we could actually meet. I am also a creative type…. and yes, probably OCD if I was diagnosed..haha. I wish you the best. Tracy Fisher
You are such an inspiration! There is so much positive energy flowing through you…
You are so beautiful. Sending you positive energy, love and strength your way,
xo,
Lulu
She’s beautiful…just like you. She looks so much like you…especially those beautiful eyes.
You are such an inspiration and one sweet kindhearted, funny lady.
BEAUTIFUL PICTURE!!!!!!! such an inspiration you are, I believe in my heart the Lord will heal you! Keep smiling and being the beautiful person you are inside and out!
You go girl!! I KNOW you, with God’s help, will beat this ugly disease. Keep the faith, and keep that amazingly positive attitude. Blessings are on their way!! Much love, Nancy
Awesome how God talks to us! I definately needed to hear your verse for the 7th. Thanks for sharing and reading ahead. What devotion book is this? Glad Boos party was a success! It was sooo cute! Praying for you. Hope you get some more energy. I wish everyone of your readers could take a little bit of your pain and then it wouldn’t be so hard on you!
Hugs!!!!
You are amazing…such a testimony of His power at work in us!! And He is bigger than cancer for sure!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your courageous story….
Many prayers,
Rachael
The turtle wins the race, right? Sorry you’re going all this.
I always like to think that you have to know sadness and pain to see the good in life. Well, if that’s true, boy will you see all the good later! A.k.a., this is a comment where I don’t know what to say (as usual) other than… you’re so cool.
Love and admire your faith and your strength.
You are amazing and truly an inspiration. Thank you for writing. Thank you for having such an unbelievable spirit. You and your family are in my thoughts everyday. I share your blog with everyone I know so that others can see the amazing heart, beautiful woman, and unbelievable force.
Trust in the prayers and thoughts of all the people you have made an impact on. We are supporting you all the way. Go girl!!!
we are with u every day praying for good news
your strength and positive outlook is admirable. I keep you and your beautiful family in my prayers and check in each day to read your uplifting messages. Hugs!!
You are simply amazing! God bless you.
That was the perfect message – God always seems to give us what we need Exactly when we need it!
Dear Ash: I Love how Uplifting you are.<3
I am a Kidney and Breast cancer survivor(almost 2yrs) and now am going for another mammogram on the other boob.. Boobs are so over rated hahahaha.
I Love how you Keep your self busy and Positive. That's what got me through all that crap that you are going through right now. I can't even put into words the Wonderful way My Heart Feels for you <3 Please Please Please..never GIVE UP.. WE WOMAN are Tough to BREAK…
You are Quite a Woman and Should be PROUD of YOURSELF. So Glad you have a Wonderful Family and Friends..Aren't they Just the BEST <3
Holy catnip am I babbling…oh well it's what I do.
I Just wanted to say Hi and am Sending Prayers and Positive thoughts to you.
When I hit my knees tonight Your name will be on the top of my List,:)
With a ton of Hugs , Anne Dial
Your message today was inspiring to me, and a needed reminder that God will carry our burdens. I can empathise with you – 12 years past cancer treatment, and I can still vividly recall the cancer taste, and the feeling of helplessness as the chemicals entered my body. I pray for you on this journey – for you and your family, and say a prayer of thanks for the support you receive, and for your positive attitude. God bless, Ruby.
What a relief Jesus is not contained within clocks, or books or calendars.
Your attitude is so inspiring and your courage makes me weak in the knees.
God, I’m asking You to continue to provide healing and strength to Ashley. I ask that you would decimate and destroy every bit of cancer in her body, and the damage from the treatment, and flush the decay out of her. Father, I ask You to give her joy and peace in every moment of her life. And that her life would be long, and full and rich with health and love. Father, we don’t ask this of a God Who cannot do what we ask. We know that You know every cell of Ashley’s body, You knit her together in her mother’s womb. We ask You to heal her because You can. Only You can. Please do. In Jesus’s perfect Name, I ask. He is the One who bore our sins, our afflictions and our infirmities for us, so that we can be full in Him, through Him, and He is the One Who holds the universe together. . Amen
God Bless you, Ashley. You are in my prayers!
Today you made me cry…but remember God works mysteries ways…you read that page for a reason. I a glad you followed this post up with the picture that you did.
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
You look very beautiful in that picture and so does your niece.
God bless you, sweet Ashley.
I am always glad to see your posts so that I can pray for your immediate and permanent healing.
Always praying girl! I can’t believe it has been 16 weeks. Just to lift you up, my dear friend Carla battled cancer as a teenager and again in her 20s. You would think that would have been it but God has been good. She has 2 beautiful children and a husband and even ran a marathon last year. Your miracle is coming!
Rock on. Keep going. Every day I think positive thoughts for you and your family.
I think of you and Sienna and hubby a lot. And I pray for you every night, that those tumors begin to disappear one at a time, for good!!!
You make me SMILE
Ashley The Amazing…
You CAN do this!!!
Your positive attitude, loving heart, and strong faith is and will make a difference.
GREAT JOB on staying so strong. So many people are praying for you… You’ve been such an inspiration to me and have impacted my attitude and how I look at things.
Great job on your daughter’s party! It looked like so much fun and I’m sure she loved it. Please stay off the roof though!!!! :/
Wow..I wish your attitude and tenacity could be bottled and sold!!! WHAT A PILL THAT WOULD BE! I’ve been praying for you today and just love how you were lead to the perfect word for you today in Your Jesus book…God loves you so much and knows exactly where you are and what you need TODAY! That just blows me away …how PERFECT His love for us is! What a mighty God we serve!
Praying for sweet sleep for you tonight and that you rest!
Love ya sweet,
Beth
You are awesome! Keep up the great attitude! You are in my prayers, I know that the Lord is strengthening you. I’m going to get my monthly blood test tomorrow. My hcg has been zero since august. I hope you counts are zero soon! God Bless!
Love,
Jen
I too am going through chemo for the second time. Originally diagnosed in 2008 with breadth cancer. It’s now in my spleen liver, shoulder and lymph nodes, again. I love your blog and you inspire me. Thank you so much for sharing your life. You are added to my prayers. 🙂
I love reading scripture!!! It always fits. I’m gonna go look up your Jesus calling…I need something to get me back in my bible regularly! <3
Blessings to you!
Hi, Ashley! My name is Miki and happened to bump into your blog. I’m now reading about your story and it touched my heart. I want to send you good vibes and all the best wishes!
I’m sure I’ll come visit you here soon :).
Tight hugs!
Miki.
praying for you everyday!
Ashley, you are such a inspiration that some days I read your blog before I read Jesus Calling! I’am forgiven! Some days it’s a time saver, like today when I’am behind on both! I continue to pray for you and your beautiful family.
Thank you for your strength, grace and spirit…. You are a gift to everyone.
Could I please ask 1 question? What are these “Jesus Callings” You quote them and their beautiful. I would love to find these.
ty, Linda
http://www.amazon.com/Jesus-Calling-Enjoying-Peace-Presence/dp/1591451884
inspiring as usual!!
Ashley,
I have just started reading your story and I came here because I have been diagnosed with breast cancer. Actually, our paths are somewhat similar. I had a miscarriage last year and have a 4 year old daughter. We are on a scary ride but our attitude is what will get us through it. You are an inspiration and I come to your blog every day to see how you are doing. I am just starting out (haven’t started any treatment yet), but reading your words helps me to know what to expect. Keep positive.
Thinking of you always and praying for you.
Jennifer
Ashley….hugs. I wish I had more to offer you. The Lord has a plan for you. He knows you. He loves you.
Thank you for living the life you live.
Hello,this is my first time stopping by. I found your page from a friend of a friend on facebook. I must say im so inspired by you. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I know there is def a strength in numbers when it comes to prayer. And this picture is absolutly stunning.!!!!Much love from another mommy 😉
thank you for sharing the message. it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you.
Ashley,
I just recently found your little spot in this blog world and am SO SO glad I did. First of all, you should know that I think you are so incredibly beautiful inside and out and I love that you don’t let cancer define you for who you are, because I can tell you are so much more. I can tell that you mean the world to your husband and little girl just from the way they look at you in your pictures. I’m so happy to have found your page and want you to know I’m sending prayers your way.
Thanks for making my day 🙂
Meagan
Hugs.. and prayers XOXO
What book is that you are reading.. I have searched and cant find it.
Your message of hope today put me in a good mood. I’m going to steal your wake-up attitude because mine really sucks right now. (degenerative arthritis in my spine and neck, diabetes and toooooo much weight/anemia….I’m 48 so it’s hard to change the attitude but nothing’s impossible, right?) I put the Jesus Calling: A 365 Day Journaling Devotional Author: Sarah Young” on my wish list at paperbackswap.com. Hope to get a copy of it soon. Take care, Ashley and thank you, sweetie for this blog. It’s helping me a lot.
Ashley – I absolutely adore you and even though I don’t know you, I am as proud of you as anyone could be. What an inspiration you are. My husband and I started reading Jesus Calling over a year ago. I lost him last February 26 (almost a year ago) and I still read it every day. Ashley, I pray for you every day as well. I know you have hundreds or maybe even thousands of prayers going up every day for you but one more doesn’t hurt. God bless you and your family and stay strong. You are an inspiration to all of us.
I’m a new reader. Just wanna thank you for sharing. I don’t know you but your strength and positive attitude have really touched me. I needed that reminder that we always have a choice in how we take on any adversity in life. I now realize that I was making a bigger deal about things that really aren’t. Thank you
Yes and yes and yes. That day’s Jesus Calling affected me, too. I’m a newer reader, but am so inspired by you. Thank you for sharing your story so honestly!
You are beautiful! What a great picture! Thanks for sharing all that you are…you’re an inspiration. I too am reading Jesus Calling…how wonderful you’re reading that at this time…I’m glad to hear He is speaking to you through it. keep your faith and continue to inspire so many. 🙂
I hate chemo and Im so sorry! 🙁 have you ever heard of the Gerson diet OR the budwig? They have both cured all kinds of cancers! I just found out I have leukemia and before I do treatment I will take a leap of faith the natural way. Please look into these since I know they have cured your sickness before! Many prayers and blessings!!