I went in this morning ready for a fight. I really just didn’t want to do another round of this chemo. My body was telling me: NO MORE! Dr. L was ready for me….the first thing he said was “well, you know how I feel about it.” Someone must have given him a heads up. I’ll find you! Ha. Anyways…….we compromised. I’ll do Cisplatin today and he’ll let me skip next week’s Methotrexate. That means: today is my LAST day of chemo. Finally a break after 23 weeks straight. I’ll still have to have weekly blood tests for a year to monitor everything closely and keep on top of any regrowth. We’ll monitor everything closely by CT scans too but at least there is an end in sight right now!
Perry came with me to see what goes on here. Everyone in the office says we look alike. I told Perry: at least now you what you would look like bald, right?
Why didn’t I want to come in today? Well, I thought another round might kill me. Seriously. Like it might do more harm than good. My body feels like it might actually reject the IV and spit everything out. Dr. L was doing his dictation and he said into the recorder “she is experiencing chemo fatigue” and I quickly added loudly over him “AND CHEMO ANNOYANCE”…..I hope that makes it into the report. It started a whole conversation about medical dictation bloopers. Here are a few of my favorites that I found online:
“The next patient’s name is Doe, John…. I’m not sure which is the first name and which is the last name, although I would imagine Doe would be the last name, unless it’s John.” Source
“This is an outpatient history and physical dictated by Dr. Evans. Date of proposed procedure is on Friday the…gulp… 13th!” Source
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant. Source
Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital. Source
She has no rigors or chills but her husband says she was very hot in bed last night. Source
*****
Perry used her ponytail to make me some hair to entertain Dr. L. It must run in the family that we try to lighten the mood and make everything not-so-serious. Don’t I look like Andy Warhol?
In the future everyone will be famous for 15 minutes.
-Andy Warhol
I’m bored with that line. I never use it anymore. My new line is “In 15 minutes everybody will be famous.”
-Andy Warhol, later
I already feel better that I’m hooked up to the IV. No chemo yet…..just hydration and pre-meds. I’ll start feeling back to myself around next Tuesday, and I know come next Tuesday that I’ll be so relieved that I did the treatment.
Update: Sorry, I forgot to mention that my numbers aren’t at zero. My HCG numbers have just been fluctuating between 2 and 3…..so Dr. L thinks that might just be my normal range of HCG production. We’ll know for sure once I go off chemo….if the tumors start to grow back soon after we’ll know that 2 and 3 means the tumors are still “alive.” If not, we killed them! Hope that makes sense!
no surprise…but you look awesome with a platinum blond bob with bangs : )
Ha! I thought the same thing!
I hope this one was your LAST CHEMO EVER!
Thinking of you! Hugs, hugs, hugs!
Oh YAY for an end in sight!!!! And as always, sending lots of good thoughts that those weekly blood tests show that you have once and for all kicked this cancer’s ass. FOR GOOD.
Now off to find cute leggings to match my baby girl’s LBB bday outfit 😉
You look adorable as Andy Warhol =) Glad you’re on your last treatment! I bought my mom some purple bands as she found out she has cancer after Christmas. She had a mastectomy and is starting chemo in a few weeks. She’s Choosing Joy in this trial. I pray that God continues to heal you and you will have more energy than ever soon!
Y’all look like twins, sorry your having to do Cisplatin but hopefully this is it the magic bullet. I will keep praying 🙂
You rock it.. <3
You’re beautiful Ashley! I feel like I stalk you because you are so positive! I get tears in my eyes when I read your posts, and ache inside for you, and we’ve never met. I know your family has a secret ache inside because they love you so much. I just said prayers for you…it was a little like this, Heavenly Father I need to pray for Ashley, I know I don’t know her personally, but I want you to make her well. Boo and Mr. LBB need her. I know, I don’t know them either, but I love them. I could see the tears in Mr. LBB’s eyes when Ashley shaved her head. It’s a beautiful picture. He loves her a lot. He needs her. Please keep Ashley’s dad near her. Bless her since she will feel yucky for the next few days. Heavenly Father just please bless Ashley, I love her too. I know I don’t know her, I already told you that! Amen.
Woot! Woot! Your last chemo!! That’s cause for celebration….when you feel better on Tues 🙂 That hair photo is hilarious!
Amazing. You’re simply amazing.
You do look good with Andy Warhol hair!
After months of weekly chemo I finally refused to go in the building one day. I wouldn’t get out of the car! I needed a break from all the ickiness and needles and even the vinyl chairs and afghans! My nurse came out and took my vitals. My husband pleaded and finally went in on his own and talked to my doctor. They gave me that one week off (it was right before Thanksgiving and I REALLY wanted to eat something substantial for a change!) I was back the next week — for at least another 5 or 6 weeks, but that one week off was sooo nice! I’m glad you’re done after this week. 🙂 I’m also glad that such a thing as “chemo” exists and that people like us are still around to complain about it! (And appreciate it in our own way.) Sending love your way! xoxo
Too funny! You two do look very much alike! The ponytail trick is something I could see myself and old college roommate doing for sure! I love the bloopers you posted. Very funny. So glad things are wrapping up! I will keep sending healing positive thoughts and prayers your way! Have a great day!
Michele
You are nothing short of completely AMAZING!
Perry does look a lot like you – a lot. I know y’all both know that.
I never realized just how much my mom and brother looked alike until she was in the middle of her chemo treatments. She didn’t have any hair and Matt has never had any hair (he shaves his). It was really strange – really cool, too.
🙂
You are amazing! I know you’ll be happy next week that you did another round. Holy exciting that this Is your last though! The monthly blood draws are a cinch after what you’ve been through. On a sad note, my friend from high school emailed me this week telling me she went into her first ultrasound at 10 weeks to be told it is a molar pregnancy. She didn’t know who to turn to, and since I just went through it and the year wait, I tried to offer her some advice. I’m not sure where her hcg level are at, but she is such a wonderful girl and it just amazes me what the Lord throws your way sometimes. She has been reading our family blog about my molar pregnancy journey this past year and now I know why I journaled as much as I did. In a way, it prepared her for her journey now. I referred her to your blog for some encouraging words and told her that just your sense of optimism and happiness helped me cope. I know our journeys are complete opposite, but you were that pillar of light I needed when I was stressed and felt alone and didn’t know who to turn to. Xoxo
Those bloopers were hilarious! I went to the source and could not stop laughing! Oh goodness!
So happy for you!
Hooray for the last day of chemo!!! Let’s hope it totally annihilated that nasty cancer!! And oh my goodness you would look so cute with a little short haircut like that 🙂
Does that mean your hcg number is down to 0? Or did I miss something?! Either way, yay! for being the last chemo treatment!!
The dictations are hilarious, I have heard a few funny ones myself. Although, my husband is so happy his job description does not include dictations on patients, he can’t stand doing them. Happy to hear there is an end to the chemo. I hope this completely knocks it out of your system. And I must say you have a gorgeous family all around.
So glad the end of that yuck is in sight.
Loo was sitting here while I was reading and she saw your picture… The last time she saw you you had hair, no joke, she remembered how you were… and said “Mommy, Mashley”. I can’t believe she remembered you and recognized you… remember the post forever ago about when I said you were famous? That’s when she saw you last… How funny. I was going to take a picture of her doing it, but she got down before I could figure out how to do it. O well… I thought you could use the cute story. 🙂 Love my little Loo. 🙂
Prayers are anwered and hope abounds…and we all say Amen!
Did I miss something??? Are your numbers at 0 ?? xoxo Hope so
God heard all our prayers! What an awesome God he is!!
WhoooT! WhoooT! You Did IT!
YAY! YAY! YAY!!!!!!
May you never have to do chemo again! Stupid chemo. It really does suck. I know all about Methotrexate and it also sucks. I am now on the pill form (8 every Friday) and it’s not too bad. Glad you’ve been able to get it though. I’ver heard there is a massive shortage of the drip form.
xoxo and smiles
Hooray for last chemo!!!
I’m praying for you! I can feel your “chemo fatigue” from here. I’ve been catching up a lot in the archives (I’m a pretty new reader) and I feel like I can “hear” the difference in your writing tone… but just a little bit!!
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming!! Almost there now. 🙂
I am happy to hear that you are on your last round of chemo! I can’t wait for that feeling! I have 2 more to go!!! The hardest part is over! Now we just need to take good care of ourselves! Love ya!
Hi, Ashley
I am praying the numbers stay down and no more chemotherapy.
Hopefully “2 and 3” means dead and gone! It will be so nice for you to have some return to normalcy. What a fighter you’ve been! I wish you lots of sleep and comfort foods and love. Take care of yourself.
Great post!!! I promise the monthly lab test are a breeze compared to all this…..and the year will go fast and you will have this all behind you. It was funny, when they told me my last blood draw would be last week, I was like…um…are you sure you don’t want me to come back in 6 mo just to be sure? Nope….I am done! Now time to heal…..and get your strength back, and look ahead to the future!!
xx Amy
Wanted you to know I am still reading and anticipate every post of yours! love the hair..I did that with my daughters hair and took pics…she giggled and giggled. Praying that Tuesday will come quickly for you.
Love the picture of your ‘hair’! Too funny!
You’ve been such a trooper! Here’s hoping the end is really the end!
Blessings,
Malaika.
Yay! You’re such a strong person and a #1 trooper. We all have that inner knowing about our bodies…good for you for speaking up!
The hair is funny ~ glad you had some laughter with that and the Dr’s dictations. 🙂
Rest, relax and be ready to hit the floor running next week! God is awesome and He’s listening to all.
xo
Pat
you are incredible. i think about you every day, & i don’t actually know you. you are an inspiration to me. 🙂 karen.
I had seen your blog last summer, and then somehow lost it. I found it recently, and was so upset to see all you have gone through. I caught up on your posts along with my daughter, and we both agree that you are one of the bravest people we know. We also think you look pretty cute with or without hair! Your spirit defines you. And you have quite a spirit. keep fighting. We are all here for you.
Hey Beauty Queen, so glad u are having a ball with your sister she is so beautiful also.I am praying that u are through with Chemo done i see u as perfectly healthy and well. I wont see u as sick because you r not sick just got to get the message ur fine and well. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ. I know it is so and i claim it for you in the name of God our father who knows all. I got ur message on email but still need ur snail mail address, trying to get better with the computer. I can also give u my phone number if when no one is around to go I can take you to Down Town LA i used to go alot and remember my way. I now live in Henderson Nevada i am from Newport Beach Ca so used to go to Palm Desert too. So do let me know how to mail you some goodies. Ok doll let me know as i said before i am a Cancer survivor so been there done that.I plan to go to LA in Aug or Sept latest maybe sooner,before i go i will make sure to let you know or see if you need me to get some fabric for you or some stuff or if you would like to go with me, Im not the die hard you are u probley work circles around me so not to worry i would not make it a hard trip shop eat shop eat etc got it love you God Bless you all Have a great weekend ok Love Cheyenne
Praying hard for you Ashley, that this will all be over soon and your cancer will be completely gone!
Oh you are my hero! I am a firm believer in positive thinking. You make me smile with your wonderful attitude. Those dirty little tumors have met their match in you!
I will continue to keep you on my prayer list.
Blessings,
Shelley
Yipppee yahoo for the last week! So happy for you and I’ll keep on praying.
Seriously, you look great ! I am so praying for your NED.
Our little Alex, neuroblastoma, is having chemo fatigue…
May God Bless You.. Hopefully this will be your last chemo. I am praying.
If it is your last chemo…..CELEBRATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope it is :o)
I was very excited on my last day of chemo, but I didn’t have nearly as many treatments as you, my dear. Then I just got emotional the next day when I returned to get my $4,000 shot. I hated those shots! Thinking of you often!!
My mom was on this exact chemo mixture. I wsd her care taker. Reading your blogs about how you feel from it, bathroom issues, etc etc brings me back 3 years ago. Like it was yesterday. Its a very powerful cocktail….the hard drink version ofl chemo therapy that knocks the wind out of you! I so feel for tough but hang in there….this mixture is powerful and does work. Make sure you are juicing and rating “green colored” foods. Like kale, swiss chard, spinuach and snow peas. Don’t think about no appetite. Nutritian is super important for you and hydration…constant get the chemo flushed our of you asd submit adf it goes in to kill those cells….because exactly what you wrote is happening. Tote body is doing the job and feeling like you do is a sign…I remember the side effects and pay for you because you are so incredibly inspiring and strong. I know you can do this. As shitty as it is! It will be worth it ud the cancer cells die! God bless….
To God be the Glory, great things He hath done! Maybe all your days be joyous.
You would look super cute with that hairstyle!! Just sayin…
Ashley, I am so happy that this was your last day. I know you must be thrilled. I will keep praying for you.
Hugs,
Laura
It’s 8:00 p.m. right now and that means you’re DONE with Chemo!! Yipppeeee! I’m so happy for you that it’s finally over. Hopefully knowing that you’re finished, your body will recover quickly and happily. I look forward to hearing good news over the next few weeks, months, years. Because I’m right behind you 🙂 I’ve got 26 days (2 cycles) to go and I’m DONE too!
Keep fighting, girl!!! God be with you!
So glad this is your last one! Thinking and praying for you! Many hugs!!
So happy to learn that things are finally moving in the right direction. God is good! This might not be useful, but I thought I would share. My friend is a studying to be a Naturopath and sadly, her mother was just diagnosed with brain cancer. Her daughter has been doing a bit of research and found this protocol reported to be successful in many other patients with all types of cancer. Cottage cheese and flaxseed oil sound too easy and too good to be true, but it is at least worth a read and consideration.
http://www.cancertutor.com/Cancer/Budwig.html
BTW, I ordered a Fear Will Not Rule t-shirt for myself (super cute!) but have passed it along to my friend mentioned above.
Thanks for being such an amazing inspiration.
I am praying your normal is just not the normal normal. 🙂 Glad you get a break dear lady!!
Heheh I like the dictation bloopers, especially the one about leaving the white blood cells behind, and the husband saying his wife was hot in bed! 😛
Hope this is the last chemo ever. Thinking of you.
SO glad to hear about your numbers and your last week of Chemo!! I’ve been praying for you every night.
My dad is a doctor and has an ENTIRE book with dictation bloopers that are just from his office!! It’s really funny. When I visit in June, I’ll copy the best ones for you 🙂
YES!!!
Ashley, you continue to look beautiful. Andy Warhol would have loved to look half as good as you. My favorite Warhol quote: “All I ever really want is cookies.”
The Lord is good. “I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 SOOOO happy for you!
The friend that brought me to your blog is on vacation. I had to text her this good news. I really hope this is the end of this long chapter in your story. I know as a reader I look forward to a day that we come here and read about the New LBB line for our grandbabies (nieces/nephews for me) and are discovering Senior Arts projects and how to organize our stocks of Bengay and Support Hose!!
I LOVE dictation bloopers. I used to work as a paralegal helping people get their disability benefits, so I spent a lot of time reading medical records. My favorite was from the typist who had clearly never heard of aspergers syndrome and thus typed that the patient had “ass burgers syndrome.”
I am in awe of you!!!!!You are an amazing, courageous woman.
God Bless You
Carole
I did write on the earlier post but I will say it again….
I am in awe of you. You are an amazing and courageous
woman
God Bless You
Carole
So happy for you!! I know you need a break! I’m behind and catching up now but had to tell you that!