…..you too could own your own lizard. This is Ferdinand….Fred, for short. That’s what Boo wanted to call her new lizard….he’s named after her great grandpa and a friend of the family. She rescued him from the pool……so actually we got him for free….but that’s not the end of the story:
The first night we made a trip to the petstore and bought a few crickets for Fred. He made it until the next morning……
Me: Why don’t we let Fred go today……think about how much his family misses him.
Boo: Can we keep him one more day, please??! He can tell his parents he was at a 2-day slumber party.
Me: Fred is a gecko…he doesn’t slumber with 5-year-old “Boo’s”……his story back to his parents is going to be that you are Darla from Finding Nemo…..
I thought we were keeping him for ONE day…..but every time we’ve tried to set him loose Boo becomes distraught…..so yesterday we had to make another trip to the pet store.
Here’s what I learned about Fred:
He is a gecko.
He can live to be 15 to 20 years old.
He can grow up to 10″ long.
This means……Fred may live long enough to attend college with Boo.
I bought crickets:
I would like to note here that I pay a service $42 a month* to keep crickets (and other pests) away from my house…..and now I am RAISING crickets INSIDE my house. There is too much irony in that.
(*No commenting on how expensive that is……I know it’s expensive, but I can’t stand bugs….or pesticides. They don’t spray anything on the floors and baseboards, they use safe, organic materials, and they also get rid of any and all cobwebs. It’s worth it.)
Then it came time to feed Fred…..and that was a problem. How do you pick up a cricket without the rest of them escaping? So I had to come up with a solution……chopsticks:
The pet store experts said that Fred needed a “balanced” diet “you don’t eat cheeseburgers every day, so why would your lizard want crickets every day“…..and recommended meal worms. I feel like Grissom from CSI: “I have outlets. I read. I study bugs. I sometimes even ride roller coasters.”
Fred can’t regulate his own body temperature……so he needed central heating….which also meant we had to buy a glass tank so the central heating wouldn’t melt the cage:
So now, $50 later, Fred has a new pimped out crib. We had to buy a log for him to hide in because he might get “stressed out”:
Late last night I realized Fred hadn’t eaten anything……so I stayed up. You know, I worry about this little guy. I enticed him with a few baby crickets* in his cage. I stayed perfectly still, so he wouldn’t see me.
*I have a huge issue with crickets. They give me the creeps. I watched these crickets walk around for an hour….trying to find an escape. They talked to each other…..and did smart things……things that are too smart for a bug to be doing. They sipped water in a dainty, weird way. I saw one moving grains of sand one by one just to peek under the water dish. They are like little Decepticon scouts….hunting the AllSpark…..
After about an hour (yes, I stayed perfectly still for an hour), Fred snuck up on the crickets and ate them. I’ve never been so relieved……and proud.
Then Fred walked up to the edge of the cage and put his little “gecko” hand on the side…..his five tiny translucent fingers spread wide in desperation….and mouthed “pleeaaaaase……..hellllllp mmeeeee.”
It broke my heart. Fred will be escaping sometime soon……
Haha! Whenever I Tried to bring lil animals home, my mom would say that they were crying for their mommy to get me to take them back. Worked on me every time! Lol
Someday I will have my Nana write down the story about the crow she had to keep and raise after she saved it from the street at my uncle’s beckoning because it had been hit by a car. I’ll send it to you. I can’t remember how long she had it, but it was a long time. She was always afraid to reach into my uncle Kenny’s pockets when doing laundry because who knows what kind of wildlife she would find in there! At least a gecko is smaller than a crow – and much much quieter!
Ewwww, ewww ewwwww
But seriously, the pictures and story crack me up!!!
Love This 🙂
Our free painted turtle cost 700$ to outfit. I only wish I were kidding. Oh and crickets? Give me the willies. It is the only thing I don’t mind feeding Heartshell Strawberry munch. Fish and earthworms get little prayers.
haha! This whole thing cracked me up! Thx for sharing 🙂 Hope Fred gets free before you have to pay college tuition for him….heehee!
Aw little Boo. We have about a dozen of those on our front and back porch. I catch them when I can and let my kids see them, then let them go shortly after. I’ve done that for years. I do the same with frogs if they happen to be around. I think the frequent catch and release over the years taught the kids that the critters were around and we don’t have to cage them. Plus, I’d much rather them eat the bugs around my doors than buying bugs and feeding them. 🙂
I am laughing with you! I think I will be safe from my little guy bringing in lizards b/c he gets creeped out by crickets too. Every night I open his window and by morning it is closed. I asked him about it one day and he said “I didn’t want to hear the crickets sing… they are creepy!” Enjoy you Gecko…hope he escapes soon 🙂
OMG! Cracking up here!!!! I had to read this to my husband. He just happened to be in the kitchen while I was reading and laughing. He especially liked the they are like little decepticon scouts hunting the allspark! He is a huge transformer fan. I told him that if he ever wonders what I am always laughing at while staring at my computer that it is most likely something you have written 🙂
We were given a ‘free’ leopard gecko and a cage to keep him for my 8yo. Hah! I’m now raising mealworms in oatmeal and thinking about how much I try to keep mealworms OUT of my oatmeal. I still won’t pick him up, but when he was acting sick last week I was so worried about him. I say to my friends, he is the only lizard I’ve ever loved. And he has a very nice new habitat.
I’m feeling your pain. My daughter went to a birthday party and came home with a goldfish. No advance parental tip off, either. Violation of parenting code #729. An upcoming vacation without fish watcher, forced my daughter’s hand – we released it into the tiny stream in our backyard.
My daughter catches Fred’s cousins in our backyard all the time. Fortunately she has never asked to keep any of them. My husband brought a dwarf rabbit home for the kids once that some tenants of ours had given to him. I was furious. I am terrified of rabbits. He promptly found a new home for the bunny after I refused to talk to him for several days. I sometimes feel bad for my kids because I am not an animal lover. I can tolerate my husband’s cat but that is the only pet we will ever have.
I just about died at your last 2 sentences.
Ew. Crickets. I support your discomfort… Mine stems back to an incident, growing up in San Diego. My dad sprayed the hose into a crack in the driveway. Hundreds covered me. I can’t stand the sound of them. Oh, and I am going to comment on the $42 a month for pest control. Totally worth it! You’ve inspired me to call our local green pest service.
Good luck with Fred!
I’m glad I’m not the only one who finds crickets to be creepy. When my sons were little, I had to always decline their requests for any pets who needed crickets to live. That is the one creature I cannot handle. Thanks for sharing another funny and entertaining story. Cracked me up.
We don’t really do pets at our house, but so far the kids are okay with it… On the flip side, I remember as a child that the highlight of staying with my dad in the holidays was helping him feed all the locusts in his classroom (biology teacher). Not sure I would enjoy that so much now.
Too funny. This reminds me of when my Son Daniel who was around 7 or 8 rescued an injured bird & thought it would be comfortable & safe…..in my SHOE! Sadly Dan the man didn’t inform me of this & I’m pretty sure the injured bird died of a massive coronary when I let out the blood curdling scream as soon as my foot touched it. Poor bird….poor Mama.
Oh the things we do for our kids!!! One day one of my elementary daughters brought home a permission slip. Seems they spent some time in class raising two white rats – one on Coke and one on milk. Now they were giving them to two lucky recipients since the year was ending. Like a fool, I signed. And lucky us – she won the smaller of the two!!! Guess what – only two parents were dumb enough to sign the permission slip! She (Rachel the rat) lived for quite awhile, even after somehow pulling the bottom section of my beautiful white winter coat into her cage and chewing a big hole in it!
I “lizardsat” (babysat) my friend’s son’s lizard. He did that swimming up the corner of the tank thing too. Then he went #2. Things for your to look forward too!
Just be grateful it’s not raccoons or bobcats like Jenny Lawson had to deal with. Perspective. 😉
Our (seasonal) pool tends to breed frogs. Tiny little green frogs. Hundreds of tiny little green frogs. Kids LOVE them. We end with glass gallon jars sitting around outside (because I won’t let them bring them in the house) full of little green frogs. At night I sneak out and tip over the jars and tell the kids that the frog fairy came to set all the little frogs free so they could return to their families. The kids cry for a bit then go catch more. Over and over and over again. All summer long.
Frog Fairy! Must. Remember. This.
This is too funny.
We had an infestation of HUGE black crickets in our house when we lived in the Midwest. It was absolutely the worst thing I experienced ever. Ever since then, I can’t even stand the sounds of them. It makes me cringe. Did you know they can crawl up walls and ceilings? I had one fall on my head in the middle of the night. You may want to get a lid for Fred’s cage.
Maybe you need to find a buddy to keep him company – HAHA
Hi, I actually keep reptiles and used to breed geckos. Do not worry about him eating……they will not for the first week. Do not leave the crickets in there with him as it will stress him out…..and they will actually start eating on him. Get some calcium powder in a small bowl, add some mealworms and he will eat when he wants. Email me if you want some more advice…
Oh Ashley…Your post just cracked me up! Boo would have a field day at our house! We have zillions of these lizard/geckos running around OUTSIDE. They love ants! Big ants! They dart out from under the palm trees and get the unsuspecting ants. We named one Lenny, but Lenny stayed outside and hunted ants. Occasionally when one would wander in the house to entertain the cat, let’s just say sadly, it was a fatal mistake on the geckos part. Hope Fred enjoys his mini vacation and soon will be released on good behavior!
Hey, looking for another pet? Look in your fride. If you defrost those stinking mealworms and keep them in a container with oats and a potato slice, in just a little while you may be lucky enough to have a family of pretty horrifying mealworm pupas (look dead until you poke them!) and then eventually some crawly darkwing beetles.
My son went to bug camp at Grandma’s house, and Grandma didn’t have the heart to say know when he wanted to bring the lesson home on Mealworm Monday. Actually, it was a pretty interesting lesson on life cycles. (Or so I told his 2nd grade teacher when I tried to offload our collection. No dice. She’s no dummy.)
I convinced my son that the beetles were tired of being confined to tupperware and where ready to fly free. He bought it, thank goodness. Because next in the lifecycle is when the beetles lay a zillion eggs. And…no. Just no.
Haha! Too funny!
Wtite.. What to do?…Seldom, relayed!!..Love you!..as I write message.. 10 :30 HS,..street…reason. Torn up!..LOUD!..Difficult Txs!..enough..Bye!!.
Been there, done that! But Daddy forgot to give ‘Stink” the blue tailed skink water while Mommy and kids were on vacation and…. Very crispy lizard! New house rules… No pets that can not be found in less than 5 minutes if they break free! Next up, a peach face lovebird. 😉
Free Fred!!
It’s a catchy movement people can get behind! You could make little signs or shirts for her stuffed animals and dolls. Tell her that they formed an animal rights activist group.
how in the world did i miss this post?! ha ha ha! actually, i’m still have goosebumps as i type this. i sooooo wish i could be like you and boo and be perfectly dandy with geckos. i, on the other hand, have the huuuuuuuugest fear of geckos. like, serious phobia. not good when you live in a place that has tons of them. in fact, just tonight i was freaking out b/c there was a baby one outside our window (maybe about 1 inch long). right now i won’t get into my husband’s truck b/c there is a gecko living in it. we also have these “raptor” lizards that have invaded our state over the last 15 years. they are everywhere. they live in packs. they are aggressive. and why have there been 3 in our house?! i walk on the road b/c if i walk on the sidewalk, they will run across the sidewalk.
funny, i can deal with roaches (huge ones), crickets, centipedes, etc. but lizards, frogs, toads…bleh. i wish i knew how to get therapy to get rid of this phobia. it is so debilitating. i couldn’t even look at the pics of fred. i saw one of him and i freaked.
aaaahhhh…to be like you and boo with a gecko…
It’s amazing how much guilt comes from allowing your children have pets. My husband and kids finally broke me down enough to get a puppy. Best and worst thing ever. He’s an adorable dachshund who keeps my kids entertained, but I feel guilty every time he’s left alone and when he’s outside when it’s cold. He’s smelly and cute. I can’t be gone for more than a couple hours without feeling guilty about him feeling abandoned.
Ha! You brought tears to my eyes! We had a Tiger Salamander here in CO that can grow grotesquely large if you feed them mice. Yeah, that is what the search came up when we checked in on keeping two we found at church.
We let them go, I put my foot down when I found out how long, big and ugly they get. We have dogs now and life is normal, well, as normal as you can get with two neurotic Rat Terriers.
My house is reptile free and is a no go zone. I don’t do rats either, the terriers would have a hey day. Besides I think its weird to keep pests and bugs. My kids will have to live their pipe dream when they go off to college and can have apartment pets. They can clean up after them and buy all the expensive little do dads they need! LOL I know, I’m a mean mommy, been told so.
Good luck on this, I was never so relieved as when I saw the salamanders race off into a dark hole in the ground, never to be seen again! LOL
Seriously, good luck with the escape plan!
Love this. Our son left us a snake and we had to give him mice. I felt bad for the little mouse but Ed the snake had to eat. After about 6 months we found Ed a new home. Now our son is 40 and he has a wife. No more snakes for me and his dad.
Thank you for posting this, my son asked last week for a lizard for Christmas. We have two dogs, one of them who likes catching bugs in his mouth and then shakes them to death (My husband I couldn’t bear the thought of that). so we said no. I am not prepared for another 15-20 year commitment either, so for now, I think I can safely say that any lizard that makes it into our house will have an accomplice if ever an escape is attempted….
Thanks for the giggle. In my home this is the “Norm”. My husband and I do “fostering” for the DNR. We’ve had fawns (baby deer), goslings, ducklings, and even a bear cub. Not to mention, the fostering we do for the Humane Society (chinchilla, iguana, snakes, etc.). And those are only a few of the exotics we’ve endured over the years. Right now, we’re foster-free and our beagle, Mollie is loving it!