Archives for 2012

Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock

February 17, 2012 by Ashley Hackshaw

Well, even though I had over 8 hours of chemotherapy dripping away yesterday I woke up feeling really great! My friend Shari of Soren Lorensen Design is in town for the Palm Springs Art Festival and Lisa and I met her bright and early at my favorite breakfast joint Keedy’s:

Yesterday was a long day!

I sat next to the nicest man…..Mr. W. We talked almost the whole time about life, food, travel, what we would do if we won lottery…oh he DID WIN the lottery once…..so cool! I think I met my match in joyfulness. He has the best spirit. He has been widowed twice due to cancer. His current wife had a radio show as a matchmaker…..man he told some great stories. The most touching story? his first wife put together a book of all his favorite recipes to pass them on. He told me when he left that his day was better having sat next to me…..but I think my day was perfect having sat next to him!

So I got my big bag of neon yellow Methotrexate……the nurses said the back of my bald head was neon yello when I left. My white blood cell count fell from 9,000 to 3,000 this week…..that’s still really high! I have no idea why they stay so high. Seriously. Dr. L is surprised too. Maybe it’s donuts. These drugs like to eat everything in sight in the body….ever see the movie The Blob? That’s what it reminds me of. The great thing is my skin is super clear and I used to get these small cold sores on the side of my mouth when I was run down…..but the chemo has eaten all that up too.

I just felt achy last night and Boo and I watched cartoons until about 8:30 while Mr. LBB worked late. Boo and I played Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock. Never heard of it? Watch the video….it’s awesome:

Anecdotal evidence suggests that in a game of Rock Paper Scissors that players familiar with each other will tie 75-80% of the time due to the limited number outcomes….I suggest Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock.

My HCG (tumor marker) number came back and it’s holding steady at 2. At least it didn’t go up right?! The tumors in my pelvis sure are stubborn. I’m still convinced there just isn’t a huge blood supply to them so maybe that’s why they aren’t shrinking like they should. Think zero for next week!

Now I’m resting. I tried to work on my button painting for a bit but just too tired today. Maybe later. Have a great one!

Cucumbers and Celery

February 16, 2012 by Ashley Hackshaw

Lisa here! Ashley is at Chemotherapy all day today, so the girls and I are here working hard to get the Spring line finished and photographed. Diesel could care less that I’m on a deadline…

Oh Diesel…how I love you so. This is D and I this morning. When Ash is at Chemo it’s just he and I in the office. I’ve been here over a year and he still bites my ankle every time I answer the door. I remind him every morning that I’m not going anywhere so he better just get over it.

Mommy…please hurry home and save me from her. -Diesel

As I was photographing the spring line I started thinking about how things have changed over the last year. It used to be Ashley up on the ladder taking photos of the clothing, and now it was me. I will never forget the one-of-a-kind Christmas dress photography disaster of 2010.

We did a large upload of one-of-a-kind/limited edition Christmas dresses, over 30 different styles. She asked me to photograph them. At that time we were using a white door as a background. Ok, so we all know Ashley is self-proclaimed obsessive compulsive, right? Well, the dress had to line up perfectly with the indentations on the door. I could never get it right. Never. I shot every single Christmas dress and two hours later presented her with my photos. She retook every.single.one.

I wasn’t hurt that she decided to retake the photos. I kind of expected it (I really did suck at getting those lines to match up). She likes things a certain way, and well, that’s what makes her great in my opinion. I reminded her of this story yesterday. We laughed, a lot. Mostly, because it’s nothing like that anymore! Ashley has had to let go of some of the control and delegate more. I’m thankful she was able to hand over the photography and product listings to me, even after the Christmas dress fiasco, lol!

From the moment I met Ashley I knew she was strong. I never saw any weakness. When she got sick, she had to start relying on others, and she did so begrudgingly. For me, Ashley has been my pillar of strength. I go to her for advice and encouragement. If something is causing me anxiety she helps get me focused and eases my fears.

Last Friday was a rough day for Ashley. The chemo really kicked her bum. She came out to the kitchen to prepare a snack, and in a quiet voice she said “Hey Lisa, can you please finish making this, I’m not feeling too good. I need to lay back down.” Well, let me tell you, I sliced her cucumber and celery with tears in my eyes. She rarely asks for help, so to say I was thrilled is an understatement.

When your friend is sick, you kinda feel helpless. You want to do as much as you can to make their life a little easier so that they can focus on getting better. The hard part, getting your friend to accept your offer(s) to help. I think we are finally at a place where Ashley knows she can ask me for help without feeling weak, or a burden. What is the point of having friends if you can’t rely on them once in a while, right?

Even when she is stuck in bed, body weak, she is still that same pillar of strength for me. Even more so actually. I can’t wait for all of you to see the Spring line. It is very Ashley. Fun, unique, colorful, and full of life.

Hugs,

Lisa

Limitations Can Be Liberating

February 15, 2012 by Ashley Hackshaw

I’m gearing up for another 8 hour day at the infusion center tomorrow. The only thing I’m bummed about is that I won’t be able to do my morning walk! I made it a mile to Starbucks this morning…..and made it the mile uphill back! Flo Rida’s Good Feeling is my favorite walking song right now……seriously I become an Olympic-style speed walker and overdo it and have to rest periodically. It’s frustrating…but I know I have to be patient. All I could think was “I want to RUN UP this hill” and then I would envision myself passing out on the road and being found by a stranger.

From Jesus Calling today: Come to Me with all your weaknesses: physical, emotional and spiritual. Rest in the comfort of My Presence, remembering that nothing is impossible with Me.

Yeah….bring it…..I walked 2 miles today.…and a few days ago I was an invalid.

So….as I’m dreading sitting for 8 hours and feeling nauseous and bored and plotting escape routes from chemotherapy…..I opened up Jesus Calling again to peek at tomorrow’s reading:

Thank Me for the conditions that are requiring you to be still. Do not spoil these quiet hours by wishing them away, waiting impatiently for them to be active again. Some of the greatest works in My kingdom have been done from sick beds and prison cells. Instead of resenting the limitations of a weakened body, search for My way in the midst of these very circumstances. Limitations can be liberating when your strongest desire is living close to Me.

Seriously? Do not spoil these quiet hours by wishing them away. Limitations of a weakened body. Does anyone else’s book say that or just mine? Goosebumps.

Limitations can be liberating.