Where am I?
The past few months I’ve been having more and more cognitive issues. It’s from the chemo. Cisplatin. I feel like I’m in a fog more often than not. I can’t keep organized….I can’t remember how old I am…..I can’t tell you what I did 5 minutes ago. Oh and my hearing. You might need to speak up a little.
And so I just stay in the present…..a little slower than normal…..but I’m still here.
The past few days I’ve just been watching this little gal swim with my mother….
….and getting back on track with some writing projects. The fun part is I’ve been rereading stuff I wrote a few months ago and wondering: what crazy person wrote this?
Me: Cognitive issues include social awkwardness and inappropriate behavior. Is that me?
Mr. LBB: No more now than you were before.
Me: Oh…ok….phew.
(I think he’s just being nice.)
Huge hugs! I’ve been wanting to ask you how you are doing but didn’t want to pry. I empathize with the fog…. I constantly feel like my brain is blurry. I hope the writing project is a memoir! 😉 you’ve pushed me to a place where I’m brave enough to write mine.
love & light.
So I can’t relate to having cancer but I can touch on the brain fog. My neurologist recently changed my medication and he said I might have brain fog for 3 months while I’m “adapting”. I think everyone around me at work thinks it’s the longest 3 months ever. I feel like I’m asking the stupidest questions. Or hesitating to answer basic things. Or asking them to repeat things. I finally broke down and bought a fun notebook at Target to write stuff in to remind me of basic things like “buy groceries” or “balance checkbook”. Hopefully the neurologist wasn’t lying and it’s a real 3 months and not a “3 months…or maybe 3 years” situation.
Sorry you have to go through this. It’s all fine and dandy as long as you’re in that fog and don’t realize you’re doing it. But once you become aware you’re doing it…that’s when you start questioning everything.
I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately, wondering how you are doing. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Would one of those cleansing treatments you used to do after your chemo treatments help? Are you eating lots of fruits, veggies and protein? They say you need carbs for breakfast to stimulate the brain, that’s a good thing don’t you think! I hope it goes away soon. xoxo
Hope the fog clears soon for you and you can get a sense of ‘normalcy’ back again really soon 🙂 get well, God bless
Sorry to hear you’re having these issues due to your chemo treatments and pray they will go away in time. I had ECT to treat my depression back in 2007 and my “brain fog” became permanent even though they said it would be temporary. I really have terrible short term memory and often ask the same things over or don’t remember places we’ve been or movies we’ve seen, all books are new to me even if I’ve read them before. I used to really get upset about it until my husband and I watched 50 First Dates! Now when I forget something or get frustrated, we call it a 50 First Dates moment or my kids will call me Dorie from Finding Nemo. A sense of humor always helps. Above all, just remember that it’s great to be alive and cherish every moment with your beautiful family. Love to you. God bless you!
I am so glad you posted this! Not glad that it is happening, but it makes me feel a little less crazy! I’ve had 14 months of chemo, including some Cistplatin, over the last 2 years, and I feel crazy to still be having so many issues. Nice to know I’m not the only one and that I’m not imagining things!
Hey Ashley! Have you had neuropsychological testing? I do that for a living and it can be a very helpful tool to measure objectively where you are currently cognitively, and then can be repeated in a year or 2 to do a comparison and track for improvement/changes. It is great and I think you’d find it to be fun and interesting. Email me if you have questions about it. I work with children but used to work with adults and “chemo brain” aka that fog is very common and often temporary. Hope everything else is well, you’re such a wonderful example of grace and God’s word 🙂
I’m reading this book right now and it’s pretty much one of the most amazing books I’ve ever read. It’s essentially all about choosing joy and living in the present in the midst of tragedy so it reminded me of your blog a lot. <3
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0310321913/ref=mp_s_a_1?qid=1366810431&sr=8-1&pi=SL75
Hugs, Ashley! Sending warm thoughts.
You have cancer again? 🙁
I’m so sorry.
I hope the brain fog gets better with time.
Why did I think you were done with chemo???
I celebrated my 1 year chemoversary yesterday. I thought the brain fog would be better by now but it’s nice to know I’m not alone. I have major word-recall issues and chemo-induced ADD. My new thing is making lists. I have post it notes all over the house. I hate talking on the phone because of the slow processing and lack of articulation. I’m glad to hear that it gets better over time 🙂 Hugs to you.
Ash, One would never know you were “foggy”! After two wonderful weeks with you, you are “on” more than ever! I love and am praying fervently for you. I have felt foggy for the two years since Dad died!! I am sure his death and the daily stress of life has alot to do with it!! l
Keep up the veggies and water! Your adoring mom
Hi, Ashley. There is no-one in the world you have to answer to, for slowing down and watching your little girl. When one has been very ill perspective does change. These days I am more forgiving of myself- and sometimes- the world. Cheers, Leslie
Sometimes I think a fog can be a good thing. I too have meds that cause that kind of thing and I tell myself that’s probably my body telling me to slow down and take it easy. Hugs sent your way!
Thinking of you, Ashley, and hoping for clearer days ahead! God bless and keep you!