Love is fairly new to me. I’m just being honest with you.
I used to think I loved, but I didn’t really truly love.
I thought love meant saying I love you.
I thought love was giving advice and “fixing” people.
I thought love meant being a good person.
I thought love was reserved for people close to me.
I thought love was about being compatible.
I thought love had to be careful.
I thought love had to be controlled and protected.
I thought love was effortless and instant, or it didn’t exist.
That was not love.
That….was a greeting card.
Some lessons in love:
When I was sick I didn’t want to accept help, but sometimes love is allowing people to help you, navigating around your pride…because of what it can do for others.
When I joined a church I found myself in a slow-moving, conflicted community. I soon wanted out, but sometimes love is adjustment.
When my family members have shown weakness I have been quick to judge, but sometimes love is having empathy.
When a friend turned on me unexpectedly I wanted to give her a piece of my mind, but sometimes love is being silent. Sometimes love is letting go.
I used to have a tendency to treat strangers better than those close to me, but love is as much about planned kindness than random kindness.
Before (and still), when I felt I was right about something I’d fight to the end, but love is compromise, not plowing over everyone in my path.
When I ask someone how they are doing sometimes I wish for a short answer, but love is being willing to share my time and listen.
When someone was having a hard time, I used to avoid them out of fear for the right words, but love is connection. Love is reaching out.
It used to be easier for me to bond with people over gossip, but sometimes love is speaking up…or just not being interested.
Sometimes just the “thought” of donating to a cause would make me feel like a good person, but love is sacrifice.
When my daughter chooses her dad over me I feel hurt, but sometimes love has to be grown and repaired.
I’m still learning, but I do know this…love leads the way:
Love is cultivated and grown.
Love is seeing and doing. Love is courage.
Love is connection. Love is sharing. Love is heart to heart.
Love is belonging. Love is encouragement.
Love is compassion. Love is empathy.
Love is character and conviction. Love is speaking up.
Love is knowing when to be silent.
Love is serving, but love is also receiving. Love is humility.
Love is investment. Love is commitment.
Love is compromise. Love is adjustment.
Love is sacrifice.
Love is forgiveness. Love is reconciliation.
Love is honesty. Love is being authentic. Love is living with an open heart.
Love is about having a sense of humor.
Love is risky. Love is messy.
Love is imperfect.
Love is freedom.
What is love to you?
P.S. Random kindness is still love:
All posts for the Year of Joy can be found here.
13 days down, only 18 to go. I love you.
I love this! Thank you!
Thank you for reading 🙂
Very nice video, makes me want to slow down an appreciate life. Ashley, I sent an email to you last week did you receive?
Thank you for this, and all of the other posts too.
Reading your posts every night have helped me so much.
Thank you for your courage.
Truth is spoken here. Love is getting out there and getting our hands dirty, serving, helping, encouraging. The video of Boo made me tear up with JOY.
Boo’s video brought me to tears! Absolutely spectacular!
Thank you. That was so powerful….stupid good!
Hi Ashley,
I love this series you’re doing. One thing from your list of what love is today got me thinking. It was when you said that when your daughter chooses to be with your husband over you you feel hurt and you say you have to grow love and repair it.
I feel hurt sometimes when my daughter chooses to be with my husband instead of me, but I never equated it before to a relationship that needs repairing. When I look deeply into myself about why I am hurt, It’s just an ego thing. Sure, I will always try to grow our relationship, but I won’t blame myself for problems that aren’t really problems. I try to look at the big picture. Like, if she wanted to be with me all the time then what does that say to my husband? Doesn’t he deserve to be picked as number one sometimes? Of course he does. I think real loving in that situation is being proud of her for wanting both my husband and I to feel like number one some of the time. That’s very mature of her (she’s only 4). And the real love I would think would be to be happy for him, surely he felt great in that moment that she picked to be with him instead of me. And he really deserves that moment, he works hard to be a great Dad. So maybe it’s not about you needing to repair a relationship with your young daughter, maybe she is just mature and wants you both to be the star of the show some of the time. I think that’s it for sure!
With much love, Jessica
I love this…Thank you! I especially love The Random Acts of Kindness…so much! It is one of my favorites. 🙂