It was a rough day for Boo yesterday…she was grounded. I don’t know what got into her….maybe it’s all the freedom. There’s a wedding tonight and the bride and her family were here yesterday setting up and Boo was so excited to help…and she was a great help…but then she began to get a little snooty, too big for her britches as they say, and then she was disrespectful to the inn’s intern Harper and that was the last straw. I confined her to the house and then witnessed a full blown tantrum and I’d never seen her so defiant before. She is well beyond her years in being able to turn arguments around on a dime. After being grounded and realizing that her actions had serious consequences (like not being able to run freely around the inn) she turned back into my sweet, down-to-earth child.
But she is me. She wants to do and see everything. She craves freedom and independence. She wants to disappear and wander aimlessly. She never tires. I get it…but when it affects others it’s time to reign it in. I guess that’s why we need boundaries, right?
I stayed up way too late last night…reading Thoreau of all things. I hadn’t touched Thoreau since being forced to read it in high school but something deep down was urging me to revisit it. I kept having to turn on the light to write down page numbers of quotes to share:
“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.”
“However mean your life is, meet it and live it; do not shun it and call it hard names. It is not so bad as you are. It looks poorest when you are richest.”
“It is life near the bone where it is sweetest.”
“In proportion as he simplifies his life, the laws of the universe will appear less complex, and solitude will not be solitude, nor poverty poverty, nor weakness weakness. If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.”
“The life in us is like the water in the river. It may rise this year higher than man has ever known it, and flood the parched uplands; even this may be the eventful year, which will drown out all our muskrats.”
*****
Yesterday was the first day I took my big DSLR camera out…and I only took a few photos. We watched The Secret Life of Walter Mitty the other night and there’s that scene where the rare snow leopard emerges from its hiding place and Sean O’Connell doesn’t press the shutter button. Watching it I’m thinking: PRESS THE BUTTON. PRESS THE BUTTON!
Walter Mitty: When are you going to take it?
Sean O’Connell: Sometimes I don’t. If I like a moment, for me, personally, I don’t like to have the distraction of the camera. I just want to stay in it.
Walter Mitty: Stay in it?
Sean O’Connell: Yeah. Right there. Right here.
(loved that movie…except I have been singing the line non stop “This is Major Tom to Ground Control….I’m stepping through the door.”)
I’m in these moments…I haven’t felt like I needed to capture them all for the first time in a long time.
******
I was a little uncertain for the first few days living here….the moisture of the mountains, the spiders and healthy insect colonies of the forest. It was all so new. I wondered if maybe I just wasn’t made for the outdoors. But yesterday, as Brett and Boo were skipping rocks into the river yesterday afternoon (her request) I found this place along the shore where the powerful Tuckaseegee river was flowing backwards because of the current. He leads me beside the still waters. I’m in awe of this place. The richness of the land and the area. It’s humming with life all the time. I find strength in the trees and peace from the water.
A year ago I would have needed the perfect office to write from, now I’m writing from the floor of my bedroom huddled next to the dog for the best sunlight. It’s quiet here and Diesel’s sweet panting breath is soothing. And other than that there is no sound whatsoever except for an occasional bird song. I could be the only person on earth right now…..except I know there is a flurry of activity up the hill for a young couple getting married on the property tonight:
What a lovely post Ashley, I enjoyed every minute of it. And yes, as the mom of five and the Grammie of seven, I can say with complete confidence that you made the right decision with disciplining Boo. Kids need boundaries to feel free. You’re a great momma!
Wonderful post! xoxo
Boo grandit et a besoin d’indépendance, mais doit aussi apprendre le respect ! cela viendra, bonne méditation, et bonne semaine.
Dear Ashley, Brett & Boo,
We miss you so very much. Sienna was highly praised on the last day of school for her advanced AR reading, good citizenship and academic excellence. Last week was VBS and we missed her there, too.
Your letters, thus far, have been wonderful and we are exploring your new surroundings right along with you. Favorite photos:
The brewing twister cloud in Kansas, the treetops & skyline over the mountains the day of your arrival, the digging of your new (!) septic tank, the fried chicken & strawberry pies of Hemlock Inn, all the GREEN & nature around you and the tunnel to nowhere.
You are somewhere and it is grand.
Congratulations to you all on a successful move to The Hemlock Inn.
Congratulations on selling your house & closing on YOUR BIRTHDAY!
Love, Shivaun
favorite quote
favorite movie
sometimes it’s good to be “grounded” 😉
thank you for sharing your new life
I remember being grounded a lot in middle and high school. I was always a good kid and had decent grades, I was very social though. Looking back, I realize that my mom grounded me to keep me home and spend time with me. I always enjoyed it once I got over the initial anger of being stuck at home. It’s not always a bad thing. As far as the humidity is concerned, welcome back to the east coast. I live in upstate New York and my hair is a disaster today! I’ve loved reading about your journey…keep writing!
Ah yes – defiant children. I’m searching every day for a way to discipline without breaking my children’s spirit!
And we looooved Walter Mitty too! I just bought it for my husband’s bday and can’t wait for him to open it so we can watch it again! Speaking of Kristen Wiig, have you seen Girl Most Likely? Often cheesy, as her movies are, but I was seriously DYING laughing over her classic painfully awkward moments. Soooo funny!!
Enjoy your time in that wonderful place!
I was rather devastated when I learned that Thoreau’s “woods” were actually very close to civilisation – but I digress. That quote always reminds me of my worst first date. I was in college, as was the boy. He asked me out; and when we met at the appointed time, he took me for a walk. I thought it was a bit cheap (surely he could’ve at least splurged for a hot chocolate? It was a cold and rainy Oregon day, after all) but forgave him, because hey, we’re poor college kids. I shouldn’t have been so quick to forgive. What followed was 90 minutes of him telling me how he was so much deeper and more philosophical than anyone else I would even meet – so deep and philosophical, in fact, that he’d dropped out of college the year before, half-way through a semester and without formally withdrawing from his classes (so that he failed every subject, because he was that deep and philosophical) to move to the woods. In his parents’ summer cottage, natch, so if his family could afford a freakin’ summer cottage where was my hot chocolate? “Oh, like Thoreau,” I said, mostly to remind him he wasn’t the first person in the world to go live in the forest for a bit. “NO!” he bit back, “Nothing like Thoreau.” Because he was deep and meaningful after all. The date ended when he said, “You’re not too bright, are you? So, when can I see you again?” Here’s a hint to all you deep, meaningful guys out there – don’t insult a girl and then act hurt when she tells you she’s really not interested. (BTW while he ruined his GPA by dropping out without letting anyone know, I graduated Cum Laude with honors in both my majors – So who’s not so bright now, Mr Deep and Meaningful?)