I had my chemo at the Lucy Curci Center today. I love the place….it’s so nice, so close and convenient and I’ll have the same nurses every time I go.
My mother-in-law Gale drove me today and snapped some photos. I won’t get my blood results until this evening or tomorrow but I’m praying for a good result.
And then the dreaded butt shot…..they can’t fit it all in one syringe…..so I have to get two (one in each cheek). All I repeat to myself is: at least it’s not Boo, at least it’s not Boo. They can do anything they want to me as long as it’s not Boo that has to go through it….I’m thankful it’s me.
My weight went down again so Gale bought me some Boost to try this time. 390 calories a bottle. I think if it’s really super cold and I use a bendy straw I’ll be able to get it down. Seriously, is the bendy straw not the greatest invention ever? I don’t even have to burn any calories moving my head to drink the Boost……so it might be the equivalent of 420 calories.
I miss my mom and sister. I wish I could be with my mom today. She just drove home to my parent’s house in Florida last night…..the first time since my father passed away. I know it was really sad for her because that is where she was when she got the phone call in May. She has so many friends that have been helpful down there and supportive though. Friends showed up to unpack her car and one even came over to set up her computer. So much kindness in people. And so much kindness when no one is even looking. I feel so overwhelmed by kindness recently I just need an outlet. I need to do something. I can’t take it all in. My friend Alberto sent someone over to clean my car today just because. I didn’t even think my car was that dirty.
My mother-in-law Kathy is here too for a week to help out. We are lucky to have a huge blended family. She and Boo put up our Christmas decorations today. I don’t see any reason why we can’t have them up for 7 weeks. Brett accidentally threw away the box that we usually lift the tree up with so I used the only other box I had: my wedding dress. It’s the perfect tree propped-upper….and actually makes it useful:
I’ve seen a crazy amount of my fb friends doing it this year, and I must say: I’m totally in. We’re putting ours up on Sunday! 🙂
You are so rad! I hope some of you attitude rubs off on me! I like your thought process – at least it’s not boo. You are amazing Ashley and hope you get some really good stuff soon – to make up for all the hard lately – karmically, ya know.
xoxo
My stepmom is taking this entire week off work to put up her Christmas decorations. She has a tree in every room of the house, plus 5 in the living room! The 2 of you are trendsetters 🙂
Hope the chemo doesn’t make you feel too yucky.
You made me cry when I read the part “at least it’s not Boo”. I think every mother can relate to that. Do what you want to me but leave my kids alone!! I’m so anxious to get my house decorated for Christmas. I think I’m going to follow your lead and just go for it 😉 Praying for you and your family whenever you cross my mind.
Katie
You are so sweet. You just look radiant in that first photo.
Also, I’ve been thinking pretty seriously about putting up our Christmas decorations in the next week or so. Because we’ll be visiting my in-laws for most of Christmas, so if we don’t put them up soon we won’t even get to enjoy them!
I’ve followed your on FB and had no idea you were under going chemo. I just thought you were this adorable mama who is loving her little one. I loved you before…and I love you even more now. I’m sending you love and prayers and hope that you make a speedy recovery!!! {{{{huge TIGHT H.U.G.S. !!!}}}
Everything you do….is the cool thing to do! My only disappointment with this post????? No funky leggings being pulled down a tad in the pic….to get your tushie shot! 😉
That is such a wonderful way to look at it. There are so many parents wishing they could take away their children’s sickness. I would have my Christmas decorations up the day after Halloween if everyone didn’t act like I’m dragging them across hot coals by wanting to experience Christmas for two months. Come on people, it’s Christmas, not a dentist appointment (says the dental hygienist)!
You are amazing and such an example for all of us!! You look great in the photo, keep going!!
I am in awe of your positive attitude and I find myself thinking of you often and reminding myself to Choose Joy….I’m praying for good bloodwork news 🙂
I LOVE Christmas!!! It’s my favorite time of year. That’s awesome that you already have your decorations going up… i think i just might have to do the same. “It’s the new thing”… right? You’re brave too… butt shots would not go over well with me. Ouch!
I put mine up every year in the second week of November!! and don’t take them down until after New Years… Everything is so warm, festive and sparkly! Also praying for good test results.
Oh my gosh, girl, you are making me cry! Your bravery and resilience is just amazing. I do not know you well, but I can tell that you are the strongest person I have ever known. And that mindset is going to carry you through these tough times. God bless you! I am praying for you each and every day. XO!
You are such an inspiration! My thoughts and prayers will be with you on this journey.
I have heard of several people in my small town that have put up their decorations and/or lights.
Awww… I am glad you are getting to have people let you know how great you are! I know I don’t know you personally, but I told my hubby what is going on, and it just makes me thankful, thankful to “know” you, and thankful to just hear of someone else being thankful. I love it when people express their thankfulness, because I think people don’t do that enough. And, why wouldn’t we? Anyway… that’s all I wanted to tell you. Hope you have a good night, even with the chemo. Just think, Boo will see your strength for the rest of her life. She will know that people can get through immeasurable difficulties and survive and thrive. Blessings to you. -Evelyn.
Man, I thought I was going thru some health issues, but someone else always has it worse. Your attitude is just amazing. So inspiring!
O
Ashley, you are such an inspiration for anyone out there dealing with something difficult. My heart melted with, at least it’s not Boo. I’m so glad for that too…but hopefully someday there will be a cure. Until then keep up the fight and your optimism, it got all of us through when my Mom fought CA….she’s a 3 time survivor!
Big hugs!!!!
try the boost mixed with your coffee. it’s pretty good
Oh Ashley you are so selfless! You deserve all the pampering!! I can’t imagine the pain you are going through and what you have to say to get through it. I wish your mom lived closer for you!
I have to say my husband drinks boost everyday, the strawberry kind. He likes it. Trici does too. I used to drink ensure the chocolate kind. Have you tried that? I think it tasted pretty good! Tony drinks it because he has MS and hypothyroidism. Poor guy. He has to give himself shots daily. He used to be affraid of needles. He has come a long way. Sometimes I still have to do it.
I hope you aren’t in too much pain tonight.
Amber
Pour Boost in Blender, add enough chocolate ice cream to blend into a milk-shake. Add bendy-straw and enjoy. A few extra calories but oh so worth it!
I totally put up my tree and am getting around to the rest of the stuff now. But I started the Monday after halloween. I love the holidays and why do all that work to only leave the tree up for a month! The kids love it too!
We miss you too! I was thinking about you today….they should just do the butt shots simultaneously, bc its impossible to focus on both the needles going in at the same time! Also, two negatives multiplied equals a positive, so maybe the pain cancels each other out! hehe! By the way….all the chocolate and rice krispie treats I ate on your behalf while I was out there, is now starting to show itself on my face!!!! Now who needs to talk to the Clearasil Rep! haha.
I always miss my Mom when I’m going through rough things.
AND I am SO glad that you put up Christmas decorations. Doing it this weekend!
I made a friend Boost milk shakes once. Ice cream and boost blended up. Give it a shot! I also recommend Wendy’s Frostys.
My father was diagnosed with cancer at Christmas one year and we left the tree up for 5 years. I would travel from New York to Louisiana to visit my family and we would all be in shorts with the Christmas tree in the background in my photos. Some people thought it was crazy, but not us! So with that said, I think it’s wonderful!!! EnJOY this time, Boo is only little once and what a great way to start so many memories.
Praying that all your numbers come back great and stay that way!!! Storming heaven!!
I was going to put my decorations up after Thanksgiving, but my little brother asked that we wait until he comes home for Christmas because he is deploying earlier FEB. So on December 23rd we will be putting up the tree with my little brother(24) his wife, and my 2 year old nephew along with my mom, step-dad, and my little girl. This will be one tough Christmas.
Loving your big sweet smile in your picture…such an inspiration to all of us. But Christmas up already? Really? I just took down Halloween!! Does this mean I’m behind? I hate to be behind. Guess I better start thinking red and white instead of orange and brown. I must admit that I LOVE Christmas…especially since it always means we get to have ALL our family together. But I’m NOT passing up turkey! Stay strong girlie!!! XO
I had to take my baby to the hematology dept at a childrens hospital. We were next to a little girl, about 4 who was getting chemo. She started crying and the nursed asked if it hurt and the girl said “No I’m just so happy. This is making me better. Thank you.” Ahhhhh it just crushed me. Either she is very much like you and very mature and insightful or you are very much like her, so innocent and grateful. Which ever it is, its an amazing response to your situation.
Thank you so much for your sharing your joy. I am absolutely in awe.
I will continue to lift you up in prayer Ashley! Sending you lots and lots of love from Texas!
Bless your heart for having to go thru this. My sister has been fighting her own battle for 1yr. She has been in and out of the hospital so much. You just keep your chin up and pray that God will sustain you to fight another day. God Bless.
Hi Ashley,
I started following your fb updates after ordering the cute hoodie pattern from your website. I’ve been so inspired by the joy you seem to have in all you do,the fact that you have a really amazing home-based crafty business, and how you make everything sound so fun! And now to find out you’re going through chemo…I’ll be thinking of you and your family and sending healing thoughts and prayers your way.
You are such a brave lady. Praying for great blood test results!!
WOOT for Christmas decorations in November!!! Warm healing thoughts and energy coming your way (((HUGS)))
You have such a great attitude, Ashley. I admire you and your outlook on every situation God hands you. My prayers are with you.
i want to put decorations up but the mr says it too early. i dont know why, but this year is like i crave winter/christmas
We will most likely be decorating early this year too. We will be doing treatment in NYC for Saoirse until possibly Christmas eve, so it will be nice to come home to a decorated house. You have motivated me to get out the decorations and get it done before we leave! Keep on smiling! (ps: I found a Facebook message you sent me ages ago that had gone into some strange “other messages” folder on Facebook. Finally replied after 3 months or so. Hope the one I sent you didn’t get thrown into no mans land of messages to you.)
You are truly an amazing young lady and inspiration. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I pray that you have good news tomorrow. Ashley, you bring Joy to me with your positive attitude and upbeat blogs.
Looking forward to good news from your blood test results! Thanks for sharing your story!
You are an amazing woman, Ashley. When my daughter was diagnosed with a catastrophic illness 14 years ago I wished that it was me. She still fights the fight every day. I am going to start putting up the decorations soon. I find them to be so uplifting and think it’s great to enjoy them for as long as possible.
Laura
Dear Ashley, You are truely amazing. How exciting for Boo to decorate now. You are always thinking of everyone in your life. Prayers for your Mom. Prayers for good numbers tomorrow for you. I continue to marvel at your ability to inspire those of us who care about you . Thanks for this walk with you. Cuppy
I will say the chocolate Boost with protein is not bad when it’s REALLY cold and through a straw. I drank 2 a day when I was prego with the twins. One was considerably smaller than the other and it helped the little one gain some weight. It also helped me because I was so sick all the time and could not eat.
Hang in there! You have amazing spirit and spunk! 🙂
P.S. I think your Christmas decorations are a great idea! It’s so hot and weird here in Texas, maybe it will help my house get in the mood to have it all up early!
I really want to put up my Christmas stuff but I don’t want it to clash with my fall decor. I’m a little neurotic that way.
So happy you have such an amazing family and such great friends. One of the many blessing coming out of this trial…you are surrounded by such love. Praying this chemo kicks it all!
God bless you. Yes, “at least it’s not Boo.” I so understand that feeling. God bless you, again. You’re a trooper.
Oh from one momma fighting disease to another, I cried. Everything I go through, I tell myself over and over again, at least it is not my daughter.
Hugs to you sweet Ash.
Praying for good results on the blood tests. I can totally relate to what you are going through and how scary it can be but when I put it in God’s hands it brings me peace and comfort. My 6 year old has not seen me healthy; she just knows me the way I am. She accepts me, loves me and is a beautiful compassionate child. I have a wonderful supporting group of family and friends and they help me through everything. It looks like you are as lucky as I am in that way. Hang in there and stay strong!
I have to say your shot mantra is very inspiring – it’s amazing what we mommies can endure when given that attitude. I wish you the best with your treatments and hope & pray you get good results on your blood tests! It must be something in the air this year because we are going to put up one of our Christmas trees this week! I usually don’t have this attitude, but this year I can’t wait for all of the hustle & bustle, lights, snow and good cheer. Merry Early Christmas to you & yours!!
I’m not surprised you’re getting so much help, good things happen to people who do good things! Thinking of you every day and hoping your test results are good.
you have a great support system!!! you are very blessed and its so refreshing to see you speak about your journey, good and bad!!!
drink up!!
Wow you are so amazing! I love your faith and how you share it with others. God will bring you through this. I’m jealous you have your Xmas decorations up I want mine up too! Every store is decorated like Thanlsgiving has already passed! Enjoy your Xmas tree it makes the house a little cozier. Praying for you and your family.
Ashley,
So glad you are blessed with such great support! You are such a brave woman!
Just wanted to give you a tip on the calorie supplements. I have a GI disease and have been through chemo for melanoma, so i can DEFINITELY relate to the weight loss. The best flavor is Pediasure in Vanilla! If you chill it, it actually is pretty alright. Just wanted to pass along something I’ve learned over the years, since I can’t stand Boost 🙂
Hang in there, lady!!
xo.
You are an inspiration! Thanks for sharing your Chemo photos..your smile must light up every room you enter.
My daughter had CA when she was 9 and, like you, was the light in a dark tunnel throughout her 13 months of treatment. God gave her strength through her Chemo, just as he is giving you strength.
Blessings
Wow..you are brave with those butt shots. Never knew I’d see your bum so much 🙂
As always I’m inspired by your great faith. I’m blogging about what I’m greatful for this month…and today I’m grateful for stories like yours that make me not take my health for granted! I’m praying for you and your family!
You are so beautiful…both inside and out! Your butt sure looks a lot better than mine!! Keep the faith! Lots of people praying for you!
I have just joined your group Ashley but I have loved your art for some time. I have learned so much from your tutorials! Your family sounds wonderful. My prayers are going out for you. Keep your spirits up and our Lord will do the rest for you!
I think you should also be thanking God for your nice butt. I know a LOT of women who would kill for a bum they could post on their blogs. 😉
You are doing well! My husband really loved instant breakfast when he was going thru chemo. It really has alot of protein. He loved the chocolate!
I’m jealous of your butt… and your optimism. 🙂
Here’s praying for ya’ and hoping some happier times come very soon for you.
You are incredibly upbeat and inspiring! The part about being thankful that it isn’t boo brought on the tears. I think all moms can relate. I’m thinking of you daily, and sending prayers your way.
Love and healing,
Megan
Your on my heart and every time I think about you a pray for you. Your incredibly strong and have such faith. I loved your story of how you connected with the horse! Hey, God spoke through a donkey so why can’t he use a horse??!
I had scoliosis correction surgery several years ago and lost 20 pounds and they wanted me to drink ensure. I couldn’t stand it. My mom would blend it into a milkshake and it made it so much more tolerable.
God is good all the time.
All the time God is good.
Hugs,
Gina
You go girl!! Put up those decorations and anything else to feel better! Keeping you and your precious family in my prayers. Thank God for your family! Such a blessing!
ps..Cute buns!! LOL
wow, “thank you God for choosing me,” is so powerful. Your daughter sure is lucky to have a wonderful mother like you. You absolutely got your mother’s optimistic attitude!! I remember your Mom with a constant smile and happy voice! best to you! missy
When I grew up in Europe, we would start singing Christmas carols in early November, so I am all for an early start on the holiday season.
Here though, I feel, it’s a bit overshadowed by Thanksgiving. And the Hubby says, nothing will go up until after that, so it usually is Friday after Thanksgiving, when he is spending most of his day hanging up lights on the house! Guess I can’t have it all my way….
So good for you!!!
Sending prayers that you have a speedy recovery, and the treatments go well and are easy on you! You are such an inspiration! My best friends younger brother is currently going through treatment for Hodgekins, and he is just incredible! Never complains even though he stays very sick for the first week after treatment and can barely eat. It’s amazing to see what prayers and faith can do in a person. Thank you for being such a wonderful reminder! BTW: Have you read the book 1000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp? It’s amazing and she has a fantastic blog…just thought you might enjoy it.
Thinking of you Ashley.. Praying for you Ashley
Jennifer Erwin
Ashley –
I anxiously wait to see your posts everyday to see how you are doing. I can’t believe the similarities between what happened to me and what you are going through. I dropped to 135 lbs after my hysterectomy – my normal weight is around 145, but since I was just coming off of a pregnancy, I went from 185 to 135 in 2 months. Lots and lots of stretchy skin and atrophied muscles – I was super squishy. I had a visiting nurse come in every day and weigh me because I was dropping weight so fast and she threatened to admit me to the hospital and order a feeding tube if I lost even one more ounce. It was so hard, because food sounded horrible, but what saved me was Carnation Instant Breakfast (chocolate malt flavor) mixed with ice cream and whole milk. That would make me crave french fries. So for about a week I alternated between my shakes and french fries. The french fries were the gateway drug to cheeseburgers and before you knew it, I was back to eating a couple of regular meals a day.
On Saturday I was googling looking for a ‘free’ turkey applique for some shirts I’m making the granddaughters and your website popped up. I downloaded a few free things and bought your leggings pattern. I must say finding your website has given me pause on so many levels. I spent hours reading all you’ve posted. I had barely digested the loss of your father when I saw just now you are on chemo. I am at a loss for words. I find you to be so inspiring and energetic. Someone who if I met while out shopping or crafting I’m sure I’d choose for a friend. That having been said I know that things can only get better in your life. You are so blessed. You make me want to be a better person and utilize ALL of my talents. I will continue to check up on you through your blog. My best for your complete recovery…Oh and Boo? She has got to be the most beautiful child I have ever seen and that’s saying something cuz my granddaughters are pretty awesome!!! God Bless…….xoxoxoxoxo
Ashley,so you are just so amaazing. I think you have the greatest attitude and outlook on things of anyone I have ever known!. With that going for you and all the prayers out here for you, I have no doubt you will make a full recovery. YOu are beautiful—outside and IN!~
Much love and prayers. Joy( in Seattle, actually Bellevue, but close enought)! xoxoxo
“At least it’s not Boo.” Spoken like a true mother, and what an incredible source of strength for you as you take these stinkin’ butt shots. Woman, you have so much courage I don’t see how you wouldn’t make it out on the other side of this all bright and shiny. God is looking out for you and your family, keep trusting in Him 🙂 As for Christmas decor, mine is still in boxes for a few weeks. But I did have to buy the She & Him Christmas album as soon as I saw it available on iTunes. Good stuff there, Nov 8 is not too early to start. May God continue to bless your family.
Ashley, your attitude is amazing! “At least it’s not Boo” made me cry. Anyways, my friend you are in my thoughts and prayers constantly. Your beautiful self and your beautiful spirit have touched so many people. Love you!
I am new to your blog and business, but wanted to say that I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
geez 73 comments! that’s some huge pressure. I love your Smiley pics, they always make me smile. 🙂
If you like Reese’s Cups…you can get the Reese PB topping in the ice cream aisle & add it to the boost, after a while they got too sweet to drink so the PB cuts the sweet & adds some extra protein too… 1st take a drink or 2 out of the boost bottle.
Still praying for you all!!
Sending Healing Hugs!!
-Amy
Been praying for you! And your “at least it’s not Boo” made me all teary too.
Totally didn’t mean to turn my comment into a cheesy poem… 🙂
Hey Ashley. I pop in quite often for your creativeness but just recently (2 days) realized you are dealing with this mess. I just wanted to encourage you to hang in there and stay positive. You’ve got lots of people covering you with prayer, your attitude amazes me and your family seems great! I bet it’s horrible what you are dealing with and hard but God has a plan for each of us and somehow this falls into his plan. I don’t understand why/how but it does. Hang in there “choose joy”. {{HUGS}} and prayers. – Cathy
Please try and keep you weight from slipping any further down, yes easier said than done. Our oldest son had stomach cancer 3 years ago, he was only 24 at the time. Steven lost a great deal of weight in such a short time because of the chemo. It was so hard to watch him go thought it as a mother. We are so fortunate that he is now cancer free and beginning his life over. The love of family and friends helped him so much. We are lucky in Canada that are health care system is different than yours, but so far it sounds as you have good coverage. We think of you often, best of luck with everything.
I love how your MIL got you Boost plus instead of regular Boost! You are thoroughly loved! You are completely right, at least it is not Boo. I hope your bum doesn’t hurt too bad after those shots. Still praying for you!
I completely understand how you get through your shots. I had cancer when I was 21 and I think I was so young and naive I didn’t know to be concerned; I just did what I had to do. But then my husband got leukemia when our first was only 6 months old. We went through 6 1/2 years of chemo and are now 8 years free and clear but the whole time we were in chemo we just kept saying how grateful we were it wasn’t our child/ren. Praying fervently for your quick recovery and REST for your entire family. Bless the caregivers and bless you are your body is restored.
Hi there : ) From one cancer survivor to another: Hang in there! You can kick the ever living crud out of cancer!
And about that Boost (great stuff!) instead of just drinking it, if you like to eat anything made with milk (pancakes, muffins, etc) instead of using milk, use the boost! And if you can talk to a nutritionist, do so, that how I ended up using boost. Oh, I also used it as creamer in my coffee!. My nutritionist, who is a vegan, told me to eat center cut bacon, that I could have all the eggs I wanted, and to pretty much each as much of anything I wanted, but especially proteins.
If it helps, apparently eggnog is more calories even than boost (or so my CF patients…who also have trouble gaining weight…tell me).
A dietician can tell you how to add calories to just about everything.