When my friend Gussy asked me to be a part of her “What’s in your bag?” series I was so excited to show off my perfect purse life:
I rock!
Except that……
Ok, maybe I didn’t really “LIE” but I might have left a few things out. Actually, I did lie about the house key. We don’t have any house keys. We lost them all….so we have combination keypads now. Those were Lisa’s keys in the photo. Now let me break out the “SAW III” font for this next image……
*Just a note: Boo’s “fine china” isn’t always itchy. I don’t want her to be embarrassed later in life about this. When it’s 115 degrees here in the desert sometimes she gets a rash. I carry it with me so I’m not caught without it.
At school for a while she would be itchy at nap and wouldn’t tell the teacher how bad it was…..so I decided to call the school and mention it each afternoon so they’d ask her.
The first time I called, the woman who answers the phone yelled loud enough for the entire desert to pick up on: “WHO has a YEAST infection?”
My first reaction was all gangsta: “ME biaaaatchhh. I’m calling JUST to let you know that I have a yeast infection. What’s UP.”
Oh, I imagined that first reaction….nevermind, what I actually said was:
“Boo does…..could you just discretely check with her to see if I should pick her up? Thanks!”
Geez….I can never stay on track. This was supposed to just be a post about my friend Gussy’s awesome market tote.…but of course I had to go on a tangent. And now this post includes itchy fine china, rubber chickens, the movie SAW III, menopause, leaky pens, and yeast infections. I’m SO sorry!
Cracking up~! hahaha… In my bag… lets see… a business card holder, 3 bank debit cards, and about 20 “VIP” cards, 500 receipts, a fully EATEN tube of apple chap stick, (courtesy of my daughter) a square credit/debit card device, a children’s book, hand lotion, grocery list, and a empty candy wapper. 😀
LOVE! LOVE!! LOVE the honesty you have. I used to carry tons of crap with me but lately I’ve been going to the Chiropractor and he said my purse was to heavy. SO I had to dump some stuff off that was not really needed.
HAHA, oh Ashley — you’re perfect in every way 🙂
What’s in my bag? A couple three-footers. Aka: receipts. Why do CVS and the grocery store have to print out such long receipts? And a Gussy wallet, and a Gussy zipped pouch. And Lip Smacker chapstick (a birthday present from my mama, she knows me so well) 😉
Laughing so hard! Thanks for starting my weekend off in a very funny place! Especially the fine china! I will never again hear that term and not think of this 🙂
And thanks for the coupon code too! Gonna go check it out! By the way how do I get my picture to show up with my comments? I am so not tech-ish.
My sister and I both read about fine china in one of your posts, on opposite poles of the United States, and when we met up in Arkansas for vacation I learned we both now use the term fine china. You’re a nationwide phenomenon!
Yes, I am the sister, and I use the term “fine china” regularly now. Especially when it feels like this baby boy is stomping on it and ready to get out. In my purse you will find suckers for my girls, my violent green wallet from Target, receipts, lip gloss, ants looking for the suckers, keys, cell phone, and a bill from the lab. How do you get rid of those little ants I get every summer?
My CURRENT bag is a crazy mosh of all thing summer!!! I am a 31 consultant so although I LOVE Gussy Sews bags – I’m toting the Casual Cargo Purse for now….My wallet with receipts stuffed in the pockets were money SHOULD be, receipts (the ones I took out of my wallet to make room for new ones), sunglasses case, pouch with glasses and contact lens case, a FULL SIZE bottle of contact solution ( I ran out of the little one, a FULL SIZE bottle of sunscreen, swim diapers, diapers, wipes, keys, ipod (no cell service in most areas I’m in so I’m cool like that), inhaler, ibprofen, Loose candy from Wednesday’s parade, pens, a pencil and notepad (for my daughter to entertain herself during her older sibling’s swim lessons), her shirt from this afternoon, she sported her bathing suit top to stay cool, an extra swim suit (2T – not much space taken there), lip balm, lip gloss, hand sanitizer, deodorant, and 5 K -Cups (they threw those at the parade too ;))… Ummm yeah – so I tote a lot and clean out stuff not so often 😉 hehehehe… Great post and SUPER cute bag!!!!
All I carry is a set of keys that has a little phone wallet…in that I have 1 debit card, 1 drivers license, Triple A card, a movie gift card, an insurance card and a couple old receipts. that is it! that way I know if I have my keys I have all that I need with me….course, I’m not a mom. OH! and when times are good I have some cash in there too :-).
Oh you are SO going to have to look up the google searches on this one!!! Lol
I have bills, pay check, checkbook, note pad, my hard drives, jump drives and memory cards (neurotic photographer alert), iPod, chap stick, 2 pens, phone charger, iPad cord a cleaning cloth (for lenses & ipad screen) and usually the iPad.
This was so funny, made me laugh out loud…literally.
Hilarious! My best purse find was when my mom asked my sister and me to clean out her purse (this was back when I was in high school). Anyhow, we found a napkin that had something in it. We cautiously opened it up to find…. half eaten hotdog!! We had gone to a local burger place a couple/few weeks/months earlier (who knows how long ago it had been!) and she saved the rest of her hot dog to feed to their puppy at home. Believe me, we’ve NEVER let her live this down. Not even 20 years later.
Oh i can see it now, the next blog post with the haters talking about how they cant believe you would post something like that about boo……by the way i am going to do a little photo op tribute to you (beer related) and cant wait to share!
LOVE the “Fine China” story, poor Boo.
My purse is also my diaper bag. I got the cutest pattern from http://www.watermelonwishes.com/ and made it myself, they also have an etsy shop. In that I have 2 diapers, wipes, changing pad, disposable bibs, disposable changing pads, a bottle (or 2) with a formula dispenser, and a little take-n-toss container with Gerber puffs. Spare clothes for Matt. 3 Granola bars for the 3 big rascals, EOS Chapstick, the girls and I got solely b/c it was pink and was the shape of an egg, the bonus part is that we like it too. My iPhone, wallet, car key and house key, key to my classroom, on a separate key chain everyone else houses keys, to their houses. Since I’m pretty good at not locking myself out or losing keys I have a spare of everyone else’s HaHa. My teacher’s whistle and key to get back into the school. Target receipts, and receipts to Walmart, JoAnns and Meijer (which is like a Walmart, however I like Meijer more). Wow I have a lot of stuff in my purse!!!!!!!!!!!
You must live near Michigan (or maybe in MI?) — I grew up in Grand Rapids and went to Meijer all the time. Now that we’re in Minneapolis it’s Target, Target, Target! 🙂
Meijer is the absolute best! Especially since the walmart here is full of scaries after the sun goes down.
“What’s in your bag?” Is one of my favorite games! It can tell you so much about a person and their personality. I definitely prefer your unedited bag.
Some interesting finds from my purse-a broken and knotted cloth headband, a hotel key, stickers, bandaids, St. Christopher pin, parking pass, earrings, receipts, a paper towel, and a pair of socks. As an art major, I should really go through my backpack as it would be far more entertaining! Just peeking now I see some rubber gloves, a butter knife, magazine scraps, clay and plaster bits, paint stained instruction sheets and enough ziploc bags of stale animal crackers to feed an army. Thanks for keeping me entertained for a while!
You are too funny. When I saw the first one I was disgusted with myself for my messy bag. When I saw the 2nd one I was like “YES”!!!!! Thanks for making me feel better about being a mom with a lot of “stuff”.
I have almost the same list as yours, plus even more receipts, an old coco loco gfcf snack bar for my son, 3 identical discontinued Burt’s Bees lipshines (which I still can never find in my bag), a striped Target bikini top?!!, a wad of keys the size of my fist – mainly lanyard keychains made by the kids – but I never lose my keys, a basic lab slip that looks like it was issued in 1995, used kleenex, a tiny pack of new Kleenex that I can never locate so I use the good parts of the old ones, 3 packs of Spry gum, a pair of kids’ socks and I bet if I wished hard enough, the hat-rack from Mary Poppins…
Hmmmm…let’s see I just got a new Vera Bradley bag…thanks Mom!! Not my choice, but SHE loves them and she really wanted me to have one…so I’m grateful. I have my wallet, checkbook, 50 VIP tags, tissues, Orbit Bubblemint gum, the “Ninny” AKA, Ayden’s binky, a teething ring, my Choose Joy bracelet (OF COURSE!) and some other boring stuff….
Seriously!!!!! From now on I’m only referring to it as “my fine china” HILARIOUS!!!!!! Thanks for brightening my day!!!!!!
P.S. My bag is always full of old receipts and rubber chickens. Who’s isn’t? LOL!
LOL!!!!! You want us to post pictures on the website or on Facebook, I’m totally in and I’m currently using my lovely Jacks and Kate bag that I won on your BLOG!!!!!!!! Let me know where to post 🙂
My purse is a book bag. Could live out of it for a week. 2 pair glasses, contact lenses. Random credit cards spilled all over the bottom. Tylenol spilled all over the bottom,Chapstick… would go through withdraw with out that. Dr. appointment cards from appointments from a year ago, cash just stuffed in pockets. The one go to thing incase of emergency…Spare underwear! You just never know. That way if I get in an accident I can put them on in the back of the ambulance. LOL…
Kathy O’
I loved this!!! So very real!!!! 🙂
oh girl!!!! You soooooooooooooo crack me up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love that you lied….then came clean! And fine china…why didn’t I ever think of that? Now I need to come up with something fun for my son…pee-pee man just doesn’t cut it for me.
My purse: wallet, a gazillion receipts, about six lip glosses, loose change, my sunglasses, Logan’s sunglasses, a monster truck (not mine), business cards, so many pens, two small notebooks, my Kindle, mints from a trip to England two months ago that I hate, gum (gotta have gum), a stretchy yellow dinosaur….
wow…realizing I need to just clean out my purse.
My friends daughter calls boy parts a “jackpot” LOL. That is now what we refer to it as since I have 2 boys. =)
“fine china?!?” Love it. I have always been very adamant about using words for body parts,I guess I just never found the right nickname…… LOL
This post made me laugh so hard. Especially your imagined gangsta reaction (mostly because the majority of my employees really talk that way! It is so ridiculous it is funny).
About what’s in my purse…now that is a scary situation. We’ll start out safe, an ipad, phone charger, four pairs of ‘five & dime’ sunglasses, a random grocery list (quinoa, sweet tatoes, avocado, cookie crisp, toilet bowl cleaner), cell phone, a recipe book (true story), a wool scarf (wtf? Its 107 degrees today!), onto the scaries… a pair of socks (possibly dirty), 8 lighters, $25 worth of scattered bills, my debit card (finally I found it!), an unopened coors light (wtf?), a switch blade (in case of scaries in abandoned houses… or at walmart), an empty cigarette case (for someone who doesnt smoke I have a lot of smoking related items), a list of possibly abandoned houses, pages torn from a 1991 MI atlas, and last but not least a packaged spicy “big mama” smoked sausage link. Wow…maybe its time to clean my purse.
My little darling has called it her “china” from day 1….she had the cutest lisp and couldn’t say the real word.
And she and Boo must be twins because they have the same summer ailment. Sitting in baths of baking soda has done wonders for her….. ummmm….china.
Thanks for the inspiration! Here’s what’s in my purse: http://supermommyornot.blogspot.com/2012/07/whats-in-my-purse.html
No “fine china” mentions in my post though, lol.
I love the gangsta response. My hubby was looking at me crazy from laughing at the computer just now.
What’s in my purse…. I have about a million that are all full of junk. I will just tell you about the one I am using now, I have my beautiful black coach bag (thanks MIL!) with not one but two coach wallets, One which is empty but matches the purse (haven’t switched them yet), I have 2 pairs of socks mine and my older sons from bowling (gross), reciepts (9,000,000 of them), a york peppermint patty, a movie stub from tonight (ladies night), some random cash, a juice box, gold fish, red white and blue star necklaces from the 4th, napkins, bug spray and a bottle of sunscreen.
you. are. so. funny.
thanks for being such a bright spot in so many lives.
god bless <3
I’ve read your blog start to finish. I know you as well as I possibly can from reading what you write. However – I KNEW the minute I saw the photo that there was NO WAY that was all that was in your purse, nor was it that tidy. This was hilarious. No gum??? I usually have a half piece of trident that has come out of the wrapper and stuck to various other items so I have to wash them. Once it was my phone screen. Ick. Youdabest
I love your posts. Did you know there is an app for iPhone called key ring where you scan in all of your frequent shopper cards. I used to have a big stack of them rubber banded in my purse and the app stores all of them now.
A year or so ago, I was at school and digging through my purse for a pen. I found it and pulled it out and it was a spoon. I quietly let it drop back to the bottom of my purse and promptly wrapped my hands around an onion. A whole onion. In my purse. Can’t make this stuff up.
You should mail that church bulletin to your mom and see if she’ll pony up $20!
OMG! you rock
did you know because you mentioned yeast infection.
Google posted a yeast infection treatment pill ad on your site. I did see any fine china ads…Laughing…someone is listening. who knew.
I cannot put what is in my purse on this page because it would be longer than your blog. I have to admit when I saw the first picture I felt so ashamed. Then I saw the second picture. I feel much better. Boo’s story reminded of my oldest when she came back from pre-school:
Taryn: Mom? Did you know that boys have a penis?
Me: Yes.
Taryn: Mom? Did you know that girls have a china?
Me: Yes, and don’t let anyone ever touch your china!
She is now 22 years old and I’m still telling her not to let anyone touch her china.
😉
I’m crying I’m laughing so hard. You totally made my day!
We have always used the term “princess parts” but I really like “fine china” much better.
Hey Ashley ! You are so funny ! But as Jo (no 32) said, when I saw the first picture, I said there is something fishy going on with this picture. It is not hers… So funny ! Thanks for sharing and showing a lot of grace and humour through all of what you live.
As for my purse, it is 5 and a half pounds ! I don’t have enough space on my kitchen table to put it all. All things I need (yeah right…) like:
– tools (screwdrivers, pliers, measuring tape)
– loads of notebooks and pens (have not crossed over to an Iphone yet)
– certainly some gum wrappers, movie stubs and receipts
– my cards are in three different places (go figure…)
– swatches of my deco paints and fabrics in the house
– a lot of handmade pouches for different things (sewing needles and machine feet, scissors, thread).
I am a very efficient person and I don’t like to search for things in my purse so it is always open (maybe not a good thing) and my keys hang from the straps from a spring loaded reel (very useful) because I can’t be bothered to look for them and they always stay there. I also have my meds (advil, lactaid) and a little vial of wheat bran, which when I use, my friends think it is chili peppers and I like it spicy !!! And of course, REUSABLE bags because I HATE plastic bags when shopping. I used to have much more useless things but I chucked them out.
The worst that happened with one of my purses was a spill of a small container of maple syrup… Got my lesson about that one…
Thanks again for the post !
The better question is what ISN’T in my purse! My list goes on forever!
-5 hand sanitizers
-10 lipsticks/glosses
-3 T-shirts
-1,000,000 reciepts (not really, but it seems like it!)
-2 notebooks
-a Bible (most of the time anyway…)
-my wallet
-ticket stubs from The Amazing SpiderMan and Brave
-2 Starbucks gift cards (because everyone needs those, right?)
-3 pens
– my keychain
–
*and pretty much anything else! Including my computer!
Sorry about this btw… My computer turned evil on me!
Don’t cha just love it when you found something that was lost, in your bag, safe?! It has happened to me a few times.
I can’t list all in my tote bag. It is big. I use it for Mondays only. Not only bible study stuff, but various pens, meds, all neatly in zip lock bags. I really need inside pockets added to that tote bag.
I have a separate bag for Sundays.
Then I have another one for if I ever go to town but
since living in the country I really don’t do that but once a month. Maybe.
you really don’t want to know…
have pix but won’t allow it…
1) 5 cards, license, credit card etc..
2) pack of smokes and lighter (nc on that please)
3) breath mints
4) 10 dollars
outside on key ring
1) 2 keys to explorer
2) 1 key to mustang
3) key to niece’s home
4) mailbox key
5) 13 mini super saver chips (what they scan at register)
that’s it…
I don’t carry a purse for that very reason… that and I’m too lazy to change purses to match my outfits or even the seasons. 🙂
I totally fell for that first picture. I should have known better, but I did. I was thinking about your organized bathroom and spring cleaning lists and just figured you did the same with your purse. I was so relieved when I scrolled down 🙂 My purse looks a lot like yours, only with about 10 more pens. I can’t stand using “public” pens and need to make sure I always have one.
The bag I carry is determined by what I am doing that day or what time of year it is. Sometimes I carry multiple bags!
Currently, my purse is a little flower coin purse I snagged from Pick Your Plum. It houses my important cards such as debit card, insurance cards, discount cards that can’t be stored on my phone. I also have a small travel tube with advil and heartburn medicines, iphone headset, and chapstick. Sometimes I throw in my square dongle (correct term, not a word I made up).
Today I had my last day of motorcycle class, so my larger bag carried. bottled water, granola bar, peanuts, flip flops (for after class) and socks.
In my little purse is just my wallet, a pen, my keys, maybe a lipstick. In the big purse is a water bottle, some knitting, a mini light, nail file, baggie of nuts, magnets from the dentist (my kids keep stealing them!)…I’m not into keeping a ton of stuff in my bag and my kids are past the diaper stage. But the back of my truck….well….
I’m surprised to read you use cortisone cream for a yeast infection. Since my daughter is a carb addict, we’ve dealt with both skin and vaginal yeast infections. I use Monistate or athlete’s foot creams, whichever I have handy or is on sale. Clearing it from the inside out (diet) is more important in the long run though. I’ll look into cortisone cream too. Though she just had a rash on her inner elbows and we got a prescription cream mixed up that I think is basically monistat and cortisone cream combined.
so, you really want to know what is in my purse? well, okay.
2 ink pens; a small orange steno pad with stickers decorating it; bus schedules (6 in total) that get me to and from work most days; 2 packs of gum (one tirdent layers green apple+pineapple and one stride sweet peppermint); one refillable bottle of curel ultra healing lotion; one travel bottle of bath& body works moonlight path body lotion; an almost empty bottle of degree for women body spray in sexy intrigue; two open and partially used travel packs of tissues; one generic ibuprofen bottle filled with generic benadryl, sudafed, ibuprofen & excedrin; two wallets – one small fushia coach wallet that i use to keep my bus fare cash seperate so i won’t spend it in vending machines & one purple brighton clutch wallet with all my real money and important things like my i.d. & library card; a check book with also holds all of my partially used gift cards of which there are at least 7; one tube of medicated chapstick; one tube of avon lip tint in raisin; one tube of liiv natural lip gloss that avon no longer makes and i hate the idea of running out of; 2 tubes of baby lips lip balm from maybelline – one in peach & one in cherry; a star-shaped trinket from brighton my other mother bought me that is meant to hang from the rearview mirror of the car i don’t own; my keys (one to my house that has a yellow rubber ring around it to make it easy to find in the dark, three to the private residences of my clients and three more to my church) on a heart-shaped locket keyring that has pictures of my parents in it; four pads (2 overnights and 2 regulars); 2 on the go pantyliners; 2 packettes of summers eve femanine wipes; one tampon; and then there is the makeup bag (2 avon skin so soft bug guard insect repellant wipes, assorted bangaes for cuts and scraps ranging from standard to waterproof to 2″x3″ pads, neosporin, alcohol wipes, a partial blister pack of gas-x chewables, finger nail files (2 – one metal and one emery board), a pair of fingernail clippers, a small swiss army knife minus the tweezers & toothpick, the bic lighter i stole from my best friend about 7 years ago and it still works, a lip liner pencil i never use, a nubb of an brown eyeliner pencil, an assortment of safety pins, 2 partial & 1 unopened rolls of tums extra strength tablets, a tube of covergirl concealer, an avon undereye circle treatment pen, an avon single eyeshdow (which they no longer make) in pearly white, an avon double duty eye makeup tube with brown liquid liner on one end and a coordinating peachy cream eyeshadow on the other end, a tube of avon shock max mascara in black, a bottle of opcon-a eye drops, a tube of covergirl lipslicks in bronze that is used as a blush/bronzer when needed, and finally (i think cuz i’m doing this list from memeory and not actually taking the time to look) an almost empty bottle of covergirl trueblend foundation in neutral beige). oh!!! almost forgot the most importatnt thing – my marbles, all 6 of them, in a small black velvet bag that is triple knotted to keep them secure.
Oops! I did that wrong. My post below (#51) was a reply to yours.
And here I thought you had lost your marbles! lol, sorry, I just couldn’t resist. 🙂 And I thought my bag weighed a ton but I think you get the prize on this one. The contents of mine are not as practical but all things I think I need to carry around with me. I am even more impressed with your memory. . .
Thanks! Most days my memory is pretty good, others, not so much. Like when i did indeed loose my marbles. I was very annoyed once i realized that they did not transition into my newer purse but was even more bothered by my inability to locate them. Finding them was just pure dumb luck but i’m happy to know where they are & that they are safe.
I’m going to get fired I’m laughing so hard. I probaby would do a lie picture of my purse because of all the unbelievable crapload of receipts, bulletins, and other random papers that alwasy seem to end up in there. Love it!
OK your blog literally makes me laugh out loud every single day. THANK YOU for being a breath of fresh air and so incredibly REAL (and now afraid to share it!)
OMG! I am sitting here LMFAO and my husband is looking at me like I’m crazy and asking me to explain! I haven’t laughed that hard in a looooong time! You should be a comedianne!