In college I went 4 months straight eating a mixture of 1 part plain yogurt with 1 part Grapenuts cereal. And it had to be the right ratio. And the Grapenuts had to be added periodically because I have a standard of deviation for sogginess. After 4 months I never ate it again. Ever. I eat other cereals though and I still pay attention to sogginess. I’ll pour a bowl of milk and then add a few Apple Jacks at a time. I’m such a creature of habit. Excess habit. That’s a nicer way of saying OCD. If I find something I like I’ll eat it over and over and over until one day something new comes along.
One thing that I will never eat willfully: plain sandwich bread. I’m not talking about dinner bread…..I’m talking like a loaf of sandwich bread. Unless it’s covered in peanut butter and jelly. But now I can’t eat peanut butter because my mom says it’s full of bacteria. Yesterday the refrigerator was down to a bare minimum and I was so desperate that I ate some Soybutter. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It only took me 2 years to try it. (This is why I can’t make Boo try stuff she insists she doesn’t like…..because I won’t.) Oh yeah, back to the sandwich bread…..just the smell of it makes me nauseous. It smells like fish bait to me. Probably because when I was little we used to ball up little pieces of sandwich bread to catch fish. It reminds me of ducks too…..for the same reason. Not that we tried to catch ducks with hooks. Who would want to catch a duck? And in conclusion, the bread also reminds me of investment banking because everyone knows that if you split a loaf of bread apart you can sell the slices for more than the entire loaf but you have to factor in the costs of separation too.
So on Sunday Boo and I went to church. Mr. LBB was working…..and he was working last Sunday too……so if anyone noticed I have been by myself the last few Sundays: our marriage is fine. Anyway….. this Sunday was communion and they cut up….o…m…g….sandwich bread. I started sweating and had a panic attack. Where are the wafers? I love those. I had a vision of my gag reflex kicking in when it was time to eat the bread…..and I sit in the front by myself….where no one else sits…..because I get claustrophobic and hot and, well, here is less likelyhood that anyone will sit by me up there. So I spent 5 minutes with intense concentration: building up saliva……so it would go down easier. I even thought about hiding it in my purse…..but….it’s the body of Christ….and that seemed sacrilegious.
So what’s my new thing? Hannah’s Tabouleh. I buy it by the carload. Last week I went to a different Costco and they were out of it and I almost cried. For a fraction of a second I thought they had discontinued it and replaced it with their own quinoa-meets-tabouleh mix. It was one moment where joy could not be chosen. Get cancer? Choose joy. No tabouleh? End of world. Mr. LBB checked back again a few days later and they were STILL out of it. I checked another Costco today and they had it. Phew. Now please knock on wood with me.
P.S. I know everyone loves to give their opinion…..and I always value your opinion…… but PLEASE no one comment that a. tabouleh is bad for you, b. it’s healthier to make tabouleh from scratch, c. anything to the effect of “Hannah’s tests their tabouleh on animals”, or d. the tabouleh from “so and so” is better than Hannah’s. If you write anything to ruin my relationship with this tabouleh, we can never be BFFs. (Okay, I actually wrote first: I will cut you. That’s my unfiltered writing. Then I added “with safety scissors” to make it sound more benign. Then I just deleted it all and wrote the BFF thing.)
Speaking of cutting, someone commented recently that my writing has become more unfiltered in the last few months. Maybe chemotherapy killed the majority of my filtering skills. I’ve been doing a lot of story writing off line and I’ve kind of felt more like writing than doing anything else right now. It’s writing that I’m not yet ready to share yet but every day that passes I get a little closer to unleashing the floodgates. Maybe it’s just an “excess habit” phase. Lisa says I should do some “vlogging” as in video blogging which scares me because “in person” there aren’t even floodgates….it’s just a flood.
Oh, we watched Girl with the Dragon Tattoo last weekend. When I first opened the DVD from Netflix I was all “what?! they are handwriting their labels now? who gets that job?” but then someone told me that is how the DVD is meant to look and I was all “awesome. they got me.”
Have you watched it? We watched the original with subtitles. The new one was crazy good…..but with a few uncomfortable parts that made me have nightmares. Boo did NOT watch this movie and probably won’t until she’s 35. Dang….Rooney Mara is a bad ass. If I could wish for one skill it would be to have a photographic memory. Watching it, I kind of felt bad for the original Swedish actors: hey, congratulations on the successful movie. we’ve decided to remake the entire thing……730 days later. Then I thought: Holy crap, what if Lisbeth Salander and Edward Scissorhands had a baby?! That would be craaaazeeeee!
Photo source and source.
Except that all the sharp edges and darkness would probably cancel out…..and the result would be like something on my Pinterest “cute” board.
I can’t stop saying Lisbeth Sahl-Lahnder either. Lisbeth Saaaahl-Laaaahnder. Lisbeth Saaaahl——Laaaahnder. Over and over. I’ve already said it 40 times in the last 10 minutes.
Oh and speaking of all the writing I’ve been doing…..if I were to write a book one day….it might resemble The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Only with me as Lisbeth Saaahl-Laaaahnder. Minus the piercings and creepy rape scene. And without the murders and the Nazis. And delete the parts with the motorcycle and violence. And I’m Swedish. My brother’s nickname is Swen. Growing up we used to say Sven Svenson from Sveden. all. the. time. Nevermind….that wouldn’t make a good book.
P.S. Mr. LBB’s nickname among a group of our friends is “the filter” because he’s great at passing along just the important tidbits. I tend to ramble and go off on tangents. For example, if he had written this post he would have just said:
Remember those Grapenuts that Ash used to eat? Well, she likes tabouleh now. Oh, and we watched The Girl with Dragon Tattoo this weekend.
And THAT is why we make a good team.
Update: Yes, I did end up taking communion. Thanks for asking. Am I allowed to bring my own “bread” next time though? I’m sure there are people that don’t care for the flat wafer bread as well. They can’t be expected to make everyone happy. It’s just like when I bring my own drinks in my purse to dinner parties.
Very, very, very, cute post.
i SO love your unfiltered writing style. and i’ve never tried the taboule, but maybe a costco run is in order.:)
Well if you ever run out of it let me know. The company is in NH (next state over) and I’ll drive up and ask them to make it for ya!! :o)
Tabuleh is awesome. I’m gonna ignore your warning and say that the best tabuleh ever is sold in french supermarkets, but that’s kinda irrrelevant since you’re not there. Sadly, neither am I.
I think it’s cool you watched both Salander movies, I saw the Swedish one in the German dubbed version and the other one in English- crazy Hollywood. But then, Daniel Craig and Stellan Skarsgård in the same movie are a very good idea. I liked Nomi Rapace better than Rooney Mara though.
DFTBA,
Frieda
I love your writing style, filtered and non-filtered.
I too do the same with yogurt and cereal. It’s my pet peeve. Just Say No to Soggy Cereals. Hubby used to think I was eating multiple bowls of cereal but in all actuality I was just pouring small amounts of cereal at a time. Just enough to eat a few bites before it sogged up. Especially when it comes to Raisin Bran or Rice chex… And my hubby has a habit of dipping in to my yogurt cup or cereal bowl and after that, I can’t eat it or consume the milk. I just have this thing about people drinking my milk or eating my yogurt or cereal. I guess it goes back to my childhood,,,remembering my Dad and the milk in his mustache. Would gross me out , totally. LOL. and since then, you can drink out of my ice water or my iced tea. Take a bite or two from my dinner plate, but dont mess with my milk, cereal or yogurt. haha.
Love reading your stories. We have The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo saved on the DVR and I have yet to watch it. PErhaps this weekend. I keep hearing it’s a great movie to watch. Just have to find the time.
Don’t ya just love NEtflix? IT’s like Christmas in your mail box when that little red envelope arrives. I add movies to the que and then forget about it and so when the movie arrives, I never know what it is until I open that envelope to reveal what’s inside. Until a few weeks back. We watche Jack and Jill (Adam Sandler) on Showtime (or Starz…one of those) and that following Monday, Jack and Jill arrived via Netflix. LOL. So had to go check the que, rearrange it and delete some.
So with that I leave you with these few words…
Let your Freak (non)Filter Fly girl.
(sorry for rambling…Im a talker/typer)
I totally get your milk “phobia”!! I have it too, you can drink or eat anything after me but don’t touch my milk or yogurt! In school I always had to close my milk carton after every sip bc I was afraid some ceiling dust or particle would end up in it. My husband (high school sweet heart) remembers this and still thinks I’m crazy for it! 🙂 I’m glad to know I’m not alone!!
LOL . . . I totally have the milk thing too. You even sniff my milk and it is dead to me.
I just love reading your stuff. You always have a way of making me smile. I think it’s because you are always positive. Always. 😀
I have never tried Hannah’s but if it’s Ashley approved I’ll give it a try! I love love lovity love tabouleh. You just keep writing whatever pops into your head and I’ll keep reading it! I appreciate your honesty.
You are too funny, love this post….. and now I want Tabuleh. Hopefully I can find someone with a Costco card and try your Hannah’s Tabuleh.
You want Tabuleh…heck…I want whatever Ashley is ON! 🙂 Have you been buying beer from Boo again??
I love taboule! Very random and hilarious post, thanks!
So wait- what happened with communion? Did you take it or hide it??????
i’m curious about that too!
you are hilarious, i love reading anything you write!! Read The Girl that Played with Fire, you will be obsessed with saying Mikael F*ck*n Blomkvist, haha 🙂
I love your writing…don’t change a thing!!!
I love it. 🙂 And I too am wondering about the communion!! I could not stop laughing about that! My grandpa was a pastor (retired now) so I have seen my share of many strange communions. I’m pretty sure the grape juice was fermented once. And I think we may have had potato chips once. LOL!!!
Thank you for being obsessed with Lisbeth (the american movie version). I too am obsessed with her. She is so freaking badass. I want to know her in real life. I think I will be devastated if I see Rooney in a different movie and she isn’t playing the Lisbeth character. She IS Lisbeth. I couldn’t resist reading this post just because it said the word “Lisbeth”.
P.S. I love the un-filtered writing. Keep it up.
I really liked that movie. I read the book so when the rape scene came up, I fast forwarded. And it’s your blog…be as unfiltered as you like 🙂
Funny..I seriously thought just a few weeks ago, Ashley is clearly feeling better. She has a much feistier (I almost said bitchy-er) attitude. I love it. I’m unfiltered and could give-a-crap what anyone else thinks of me. You rock!
I can’t stand the smell of bread! Wet bread makes me gag violently!! I don’t eat bread sandwiches either.
In honor of my dear late husband, because dragonflies became very special to us during his illness, I got one tattooed on my shoulder. I’m now the Girl with the Dragonfly Tattoo. 🙂
Can you please ask your mom about bacteria in Sunbutter??? My daughter is allergic to peanuts/tree nuts and we eat Sunbutter by the pounds … I’m so not kidding. Also, it is much much better than Soybutter … gag.
Ask your mom please!! 🙂
I love your random babbles. They make me chuckle.
Will you hate me if I ask… What is Taboule??
hahahahahah i love you. Even if it’s creepy because we don’t know each other. Because if we did know each other we would be BFFLUHFO.
This might have been have been the best 10 minutes of my day!!
(That’s a lie because I spent the day at the spa, but it was 10 awesome minutes.)
Beth
Every time I sit down in front of my computer I look forward to seeing if you have posted something new. Thank you for always giving me something to look forward to, most of the time a smile or laugh is the result.
You rock Ashley!!! I can’t tell a story without telling ten stories to get to the original one. Way funny!! So I can’t eat bread, because in high school I had mono and the doctor said it would be easier for me to swallow and get all the crud from my throat down and out. So, every time I see bread that’s all I think about and that horrible taste I had in my mouth. Yuk!!! Keep up with your non-filtering ways 😉
I LOVE Hannah’s Taboo (That’s what it’s called when a 10 yr old reads the label). I eat it mixed with tuna, straight out of the bowl. Wicked awesomeness! By the way, my Costco doesn’t have it right now, can you do a run for me:-)
This post was awesome. 🙂
You make me feel better and give me hope!
I was just going to suggest sunbutter too! I used to live on peanut butter, but surprisingly developed a peanut allergy at 35, Go figure. It’s not as good as peanut butter, but it’s pretty good.
you seriously have the ability to make me smile on days when I am down 🙂 thanks for being YOU!
I have read all 3 books and watched the 3 Swedish Movies. LOVE them and have no clue why they were not good enough for the American market?????
Pretty sad, but then again even Bob the Builder needs to be dubbed for the US market….???? Why???? It’s in English!!!!
The Swedish films where just was I had imagined when I read the books and so I will not watch the US version. :0)
I could eat an entire loaf of bread–almost any kind. White, wheat, whole wheat, seven grain, French, and especially that brown bread from Outback Steakhouse. What’s in that? Crack? I LOVE it!
I have NO idea what tabuleh is–must try in near future when I’m in a real town with real stores, not the Oklahoma panhandle.
Still haven’t seen The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, but the book disturbed me. I liked it, but it disturbed me.
You, you just make me laugh out loud. 🙂
I love the unfiltered nature of your posts! I can totally relate to it 🙂
As for The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo…. what an amazing movie! I have been too chicken to read the books…I usually read the books and skip the movie, but this one was to intense for me.
P.S. What did you do about communion!?!
What does it say about me that I think this is my favorite post you’ve done so far?
I am reading the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series and just finished the second book last night — the story is amazing and I can’t wait to start the last book… I love when a story is SO gripping that you can’t stop thinking about how good it is.
I suspect than most married couples have a similar style difference. One is more succinct, and well..one is not. O_o
Never turn your filter off. You make me laugh with almost every post. And the ones where I’m not laughing I’m nodding. Carry on…
Uh, that’s never turn your filter ON. LOL
I just came back to read responses b/c honestly…you have some of the best followers. FWIW – I eat my cereal without milk. I definitely get stuck on certain foods. Right now it’s salt & pepper Pop Chips and Half Pops.
OMG I DIE over bbq pop chip right now…s. And edamame hummus with carrots….creature of habit!
Ashley, how many cups of coffee did you have today??? I was reading your blog and started reading it faster and faster as I imagined you saying it . I even gasped for air when I got to a new subject. But it sooooo made sense, because I share alot of the same feelings you do. I have the “get addicted to a food product” too. Right now it’s de-hydrated okra. You can buy it in the bins where the granola and nuts are. It’s delicious!!!!! It tastes just liked fried okra, with a hint of sweet. But, they have been out of it for 4 days!!!!! I’m going thru withdrawal, calling the store everyday to see if it has come in yet. I don’t know if I’m going to make it to the 28 day point to kick the craving.
Ok, about communion. Our church has the grape juice with the wafer on top of a little disposable cup. Love it. We visited our son’t church and what do they do? They dipped a piece of torn bread into the juice and you have to eat it. Well, I don’t like anything soggy-Nothing!!! I don’t eat cereal for that reason. So I too was gagging waiting in line.
Haven’t seen the movie yet. Will give you my opinion when I see it.
Please vlog!!!! Or better yet, your own reality show. I’d much rather watch you than some boring housewife.
Hugs,
Cindy
My fiance absolutely LOVES that tabouleh and I enjoy it as well (more than any other tabouleh I’ve tried and I’ve tried a few). Our costco runs out of it more often than not and replaces all the shelf space with roasted pine nut hummus…ummm, hello, that is NOT a good replacement! It makes me think it’s never coming back every time they do it and it makes my fiance ever so sad. Which makes me wonder, if they are running out so often all over the country (we’re in Virginia) then why not order more, Costco? Glad there’s another Hannah lover out there!
I also have cereal issues, just a little bit of milk and a lot of cereal to avoid the sog. And does your cut you reference relate to Bon Qui Qui? If not pulease immediately watch her on you tube 🙂
You’re so awesome and hilarious Ash. And I’m Methodist and our church uses these fresh loaves of bread, you would be so happy. As a child I used to want to go up multiple times because the bread was so good. All doughy and warm…best body of Christ ever!
I, too, am a creature of excess habit. It’s cool.
The part about you and Mr. LBB, him being the filter and you with tangents (me, too btw), yeah…all I could think about was this bit from Louis CK. Had to share. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oL2J84PKO88
I know I could just google this, but what is Tabuleh?
a type of a salad. I like mine cold and on crackers or pita bread or just plain from the spoon. Some people make it using couscous(?), tomato, (sometimes cucumber), parsley, mint, green onions (or regular), and garlic, then seasoned with lemon juice, salt, and olive oil. I’m sure there are a lot of ways to make it. You should go out and try some today!!
I totally think you should be able to bring your own bread/cracker/wafer. What if you had a gluten allergy? At the church I went to as a kid, when we were on retreats the wafer was replaced with pita. I <3 pita. Not such a fan of the wafers, they turn into sticky glue inside your mouth and I never have enough spit to wash them down. So when I put one on my tongue the inside of my mouth gets all sticky like I've been eating peanut butter but then there's a half dissolved wafer suction cupped to the roof of my mouth…and then I have to try to scrape it off with my tongue…and well it's just a long process and a hot mess. Maybe if you ask real nice, your pastor will oblige. 🙂 Or just slip some wafers under the loaf next time before the service starts. You're adorable, you could totally get away with it. As far as the other stuff goes, you're quirky central, lady. I like it.
As much as I love the filter, your posts never get old Ash!!!! Love them!!! Ps, I threw up grape juice when I was 10… Never drank it again… Weird association!!!! Lol.. Tmi???
Love this post!! I just read the part of Lisabeth and Edward Scissorhands having a baby to my husband… totally would be on the “cute” board on Pinterest! (Still cracking up!) We watched the English version of the Girl with the Dragon Tatoo. Then watched the Girl Who Played with Fire the Sweedish version… dubed in English. Lets just way that I love love love the English version way better. Not only is Rooney Mara AWESOME but I can’t get Daniel Craig out of my mind for the roll of Mikael! I’m just hoping that they finish the series with Rooney and Daniel. Anybody know!?!?
Haha! I had a grape nuts and yogurt thing once too. And yes, the ratio + timing was extremely crucial. I haven’t had that in years. I might have to try it again. Sounds good!
So I did the same thing with that dumb DVD. Totally bought the Sharpie scrawl. And had the same reaction: ‘oh. they got me. real clever guys’. I was a little disappointed in me to be honest.
Oh my goodness, Ashley!!! Thanks for making my night and for making the husband and daughter look over at me as I was snickering as I read this one! I owe you for reminding me that I wanted to rent the remake of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and see how it compares to the foreign version.
Much joy and strength to you dear lady as you travel the journey of your life…and as always…thanks for sharing so much of it with us.
(heaven help us here)
i didn’t read any of the other comments before posting my own (and probably won’t read them afterwards either)so i have know idea if anyone else has already addressed the issue of the sanwhich bread being used in communion as being an incorrect substitution for the more commonly used wafer. there is a biblical standard of the use of uleven bread in communion that actually reaches as far back as the first passover dinner in the book of genesis. it had a significance of the purging of sin from god’s chosen people back then and is still observed in this manner by both the jewish religion and even some denominations of christianity (protestant not catholic – where the teaching is of transubstantiation wherein it is believed that the bread and the wine literally become the body & the blood of christ) i have been to more than one communion service where the standard wafers were not available for whatever reason and they were replaced by ritz crackers (a lovely alternative though i have always wondered if there is something wrong with actually enjoying the taste of the emblems – or not liking the taste as last sunday my church also had communion and i’m not real sure we had regular grape juice {we are a no-alcohol organization} cuz it was kinda pink and tasted off, but was better than the time someone used cran-grape juice).
anywho, i just meant to say that they were not biblically correct in their choice of wafer substitutions. maybe you could ask your pastor if you could donate a box of ritz crackers (or saltines if he thinks blander is better) for y’all’s next communion service.
btw, i’ve actually had communion using pringles and sparkling grape juice. also heard of others having it using pizza crust and grape soda. i mostly think that as long as it is taken in the right attitude god will accept any substitution for the bread and the wine.
i sure hope everyone else finds my typos as funny as i do.
First off….cut you…with safety scissors…too dang funny! Side note…a random one but somehow it fits…I think I read your blog too much… three nights ago my sister text me a picture of what she thought was an acrylic ruler quilting injury she sustained on her leg..the pic was taken at the er…I was horrified and concerned…once she assured me she was okay I asked the next obvious question….are you going to blog about this? I told her Ashley would have already been taking pics…lol…eight stitches and a Tetnus shot later she found out the next day it was an old rotary cutter that’s guard had broken and when her bag bumped her leg that was all she wrote….quilting can be dangerous…when I asked her the next day if she was going to blog bout it she admitted that after my text the night before she whipped out her phone and started taking pics..you are a daily inspiration…sometimes in the strangest ways…lol
Loved this post!! All the rambling made me smile 🙂
I love LOVE your posts! They sure do make me laugh! Similar experience…When I was pregnant with my daughter I detested wheat bread! It made me gag and occasionally throw up so we’re sitting in church and they’re passing the sacrament (I’m LDS.. aka Mormon) and to my complete horror its wheat bread! I thought I was going to die right there. Luckily I was able to gag it down without barfing!
And soggy cereal is the worst! After it gets to a certain sogginess it’s going down the drain! Yuck!
My mind moves a million miles a minute every day. I talk too fast. I think too fast. My mind moves too damn fast. I usually read your blog at night to wind down. Tonight, after reading, my mind is racing even faster. haha
I totally get the food thing. Especially cereal. I am on a rice crispies with banana kick. I rarely finish a box of cereal before it goes stale and I’m wanting something else but I’ve gone through two boxes of rice crispies already. I hate crunchy cereal though. I have to let it sit to get soggy. But not for too long because then it gets warm and I have to throw it out because warm milk makes me gag.
I just finished reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. I was all gung-ho about watching both the Swedish movie and the US version after I finished the book. But the book gave me nightmares and made me feel sick. I don’t think I would make it through either movie.
I should get away from this computer. It’s late here. Except I feel like I drank a gallon of coffee. How will I ever sleep now? haha
My mind does that too. I cannot even finish one thought before 7 more thoughts are coming thru. Ugh!
I’ve been away from the blog for a while cause I have 5 kids and they’re crazy and make messes I have to clean up and stuff but this was a great post to come back to. I was crazy stressed about a conflict going on in my life and I just needed to hear crazy tabbouleh ramblings and stuff like “I will cut you…with safety scissors” that makes me laugh out loud. (why do i keep using the word “crazy”??) Thanks Ashley, you’re great.
Grape juice, really? I thought it was always meant to be wine, it’s wine in England and in France. Though grape soda would be cool, I love that stuff and you can’t get it in Europe.
The high school I went to was attached to a convent where the nuns made communion wafers to sell to other churches, it raised them some money and we saw once how they made them. Think they were rice based, so does that make them gluten free or wrong?
And Sunbutter and Soybutter, am intrigued, what are they? And what is wrong with peanut butter, our jar is a) never kept in the fridge, and b) I noticed the other day that the date to eat it by was last year, but I still gave it to my kids…
And yes, yes, yes to taboule (no h in France!), we love it. And yes, I have tried to make it, but no it is not as good so we buy it too!
I don’t go to church..Trader joes has THE BEST sliced bread – the shepherds bread — it’s brilliant toasted. .and my hubby eats PB like it’s going to be out of stock tomorrow. Now I’m a bit freaked out about that 🙂
And there are my random thoughts on that! You rock it sister!!
Please keep the unfiltered writing coming. It makes me laugh so much! And Girl with the dragon tattoo creeped me out – I had nightmares after I read the book, stayed up all night ‘to get to a bit where I wouldn’t have nightmares’ and realised there were more bad bits. It resulted in my better half confiscating the book until I begged for it back. Then I watched the movie and hid behind the sofa during the nasty scenes. Oh dear.
Oh MY! Sunflower seed butter BETTER NOT have bateria! I won’t know what to do with myself. I love that stuff. Trader Joe’s has the best and is the most peanut like tasting sunflower butter i have found. Please say no bacteria in the sunflower seed butter too…. 🙁
Heh. I hate sandwich bread myself. In fact, I avoid sandwiches of all kinds unless its one of those really fancy types of bread like they serve at a deli. And I love GoLean Crunch with my yogurt. 😉
OMG your posts just keep getting better and funnier! I’ve never heard of Hannah’s (we don’t have costco) but I LOVE tabbouleh salad! Rock on!
btw, the original swedish Dragon Tatoo movies are better. Worth the subtitle reading!
Unfiltered people are the best! I was born without a filter. I need to watch that movie. EVERYONE is going to DIE if they keep eating that Tabouli! Just kidding! I love me some tabouili.
Oh and PLEASE do a VLOG!! PLEASE!!!
I definitely get the “I ate it so much I can’t eat it anymore”…for me it’s ramen noodles. over them. But this post was crazy funny, randomness all over your head. And for the record, my husband is short too. How do they filter so well, I will give every minute detail of the situation/directions/whatever. Him, short and sweet, done. I tell him he married a crazy, and I got the better end of the deal. (well not really, cause I’m pretty awesome) Ha! I crack myself up.
Totally cracking up at this post! My husband and I are the exact same when it comes to telling a story or recounting an event. He is very succinct and I am all over the place. BTW, the day after your post about running off solicitors, I had a Jehovahs Witness come to the door. My kids answered the door (I was upstairs sewing). Long story short, I finally realized that it wasn’t the babysitter showing up early like I thought so I decided to run down and check…and there was my three kids entertaining the Jehovah’s Witness. Oh yeah and my daughter was stark.naked. The guy said, “I can see this isn’t a good time. Have a nice day.” So that’s a unique way to run off solicitors.
Thank you for the laughs. Love you.
That choose joy thing is biting me in the bum at my house. Everytime I get just the littlest cranky someone tells me to just choos joy! I guess I should be thrilled they were listening when I gave them the “joy talk”.
As for the chemo and editing kind of thing, my mom who always chose joy in her life and was kind to a fault suddenly became unleashed after her chemo. She would amaze (and amuse) all of us as she would critique her sister’s clothing choices (not kindly), or a strangers parking skills. Suddenly a new voice opened and we could not turn her off. We loved it.
So keep your new voice and I am with you, bring your own bread. I would be packing some goldfish crackers.
I can’t date a guy who drinks the milk after he eats the cereal. That in my opinion is the grossest.
I caught a duck once… a baby one. On a fish hook…. It just went around his little ankle, didn’t poke him or anything, but the Mama was PEEEEEEED OFF!!! She came charging at me, making all kinds of racket! She scared me, but not enough to make me scared of ducks. Geese, on the other hand… I’ve been chased and/or bitten by 2 or 3 in my life. Dis. Like.
Also, I saw the girl with the Scooby tattoo yesterday. She wasn’t nearly as bad ass as Lisbeth Saaaahl-Laaaaahnder.
I just found your blogs and I adore them! I think you are just great. Thank you for saying things that I would say – uh, except a 1000 times better.
I highly recommend the Swedish version of the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo movies! They’re awesome! And on Netflix on demand.
No filter, please. Lovin’ Ashley and things that roll off your tongue….
First, I came to read this post from a friend’s blog (thelazyw.blogspot.com) based entirely on the title. Both The Lazy W and I read the books and watched both the Swedish and American movies. Rooney Mara? Yes.
Second, my Dad used to pour a bowl of Raisin Bran, pour milk over the top, add sugar (I know … this was the late 80s and early 90s), then WALK AWAY for 10 minutes or more. He wanted it to get soggy and almost a little warm. I still gag just thinking about it. He also let ice cream melt with chocolate sauce until it was a soup. And he ate pancakes with sausage gravy and ketchup. The man had no taste.
I love your style. I’ll be back, for sure!
Yeah- the whole PB bacteria/mold debacle..if I remember correctly it has to do with the mold that’s allowed to grow on the shells? I try not to pay too much attention unless there’s a possibility I’ll lose an eye. . I hate to admit I did buy a big jar of Almond Butter from Costco. Mostly because I was bored and it was in fact cheaper than the PB I usually buy. (go figure) I now love Almond Butter. 🙂 I still get a hankering for PB though, just not as much. Now if Costco would get the dog treats that stink to high heaven back in stock… Oh and for bread I found a Pugliese Flat Bread (it really wasn’t that flat) at the bakery section of a local grocery store..OMahgherd! Tasty… Unexpected soft and chewy without being a sourdough.
I eat things in phases too. Seriously addicted to blue Garden of Eatin’ chips and salsa right now. I like your unfiltered style.
When I was a kid I went to a church with carpet in the sanctuary. I HATED all forms of grape juice. I didn’t drink Jesus blood…I poured it on the carpet. Quietly. I’ve never admitted that before now. I feel 20 pounds lighter. Ahhhhhh.
Loved this Ashley!!! You always make me smile!! <3 ya!!
You bring your own drinks to dinner parties?? Oh, Ash.
I’ve never seen The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo or read the book for fear of nightmares. Edward Scissorhands is one of my favorites though.
I went to see The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo with my mom on Christmas this year, I know not really your feel good Christmas movie. She told me later that periodically throughout the movie she would say to herself “she is 30 years old, this is okay for her to watch”…I feel like 35 is a better age for Boo, and try not to let her watch it on Christmas. We had to go home and wash our eyes out with some Elf.
I love reading your posts, I laugh hysterically most of the time and then read them to my husband because he starts giving me weird looks if I don’t (and I think he just doesn’t want me to know he actually likes your blog too…his mom’s had cancer 3x and is still going strong so he has a soft spot for cancer, and you’re stinkin hilarious!).
Also, my last name by marriage is Svendson. It’s Norweigian though…maybe because of the “d”? My husband talks about Svend Svendson as a joke all te time. Ha ha
I love your blog… love your being real! I watched the movie and had to skip some things … I had nightmares too!
I love that you ate yogurt and Grapenuts! I did the same for about 6 months while in college and then just somehow forgot all about it. 🙁 The correct crunch ratio is always important. I can’t stand the soggy…must have the crunchy. 🙂 I L.O.V.E all of your posts! You are always so “real” and that is refreshing! Always makes me smile…and that’s a good thing! 🙂 I also am a creature of excess habits. Keeps me sane! And, I like it that way!! Sorry about all of the 🙂 faces…couldn’t seem to help myself. Rock on!
You crack me up!! Love you, Sis!!!
Personally, I love the unfiltered Ashley. You are sounding more “bloggess” at times, and as that’s one of my favorite reads on the, it makes me laugh.
You’ve become so unfiltered since your hair grew out.
Dang. Church. R rated movie, food, bread… and notice how
we like it. You do a lot of stuff I’ll never do it is very interesting.
My one year old tried to cut off my three year old’s finger with safety scissors. While not very badass, those things will still hurt. Maybe not enough to scare off would-be tabbouleh-ruiners, though.
Bwahaha!!! You’re awesome!
YOU CRACK ME UP! I dig your ramblings. Question? Do you act out stories when you tell them. My husband is always telling me I don’t have to act everything out but I can’t help it. The stories are always much more colorful that way. I can’t imagine what random people watching me think I am talking about at times. “hey, look at that lady over there. looks like she is doing some stripper moves.” I was actually talking about story time at the library the other day. There was a lady/ cowgirl there doing roping tricks. Yes, I had to imitate her lasso moves.
Keep up the ramblings. They are the best.
OMG, I am still laughing at the suggestion to take fish crackers for communion~ think Jesus can turn those into enough food to serve the masses? And for some reason I cant get the Monty Python movie The Life of Brian out of my head now….”Blessed are the cheese makers……..