I had a dream that I was in a crash 2 nights ago. I assumed it was a plane. As I was hoping on a plane to Houston yesterday I literally even texted my friend Jay before traveling so that someone would know:
I gave up my seat on the earlier flight thinking it was kind of like Russian Roulette. And on the second flight, I think I realized early on that I probably gave up the safer seat. (I have a deeply warped imagination….) As we neared the approach to Houston I wrote in my journal to document the passing time, just in case….I guess assuming my journal would survive impact:
The plane always gets eerily quiet as it starts to descend. Like this dampened hush.
Ears pop. Hush gone.
I have to pee. It would be nice to die without having to pee.
Ever notice how the clouds always move by quicker than the ground does?
Houston looks like little collages of circuit boards.
Except for the pretty aqua cesspools.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, we have been cleared to land.”
[Insert long, boring spiel about tray tables.]
Good grief. That was a really steep turn.
Something just doesn’t sound right. No one else seems to care.
What if we just dropped out of the sky? I’d pee. That’s what would happen.
There goes the landing gear. I choose hope.
The cars look like little ant cars down there. Where are all those people headed?
Aww…little ant-sized school buses park all in a row in their little ant-sized parking lot.
Horse farm.
Runway.
Landed.
Awesome.
Not my time to go.
Thank you God.
So…the plane didn’t crash.
But my rental car did.
It’s totaled.
I snuck out right before lunch today to get some books to hand out for the breakout session I am speaking at tomorrow.
I’ve never been in a car wreck before, and it was exactly like it is in the movies. It took a few seconds to realize what was happening. All I saw was a white hood coming straight towards me. Time slowed down to a halt. And I vividly remember thinking: This is not going to end well.
And then: I don’t want to die in Galveston.
(no offense Galveston)
And: You are wearing your conference name tag for easy identification.
Then the car slammed into the right side passenger door. Then everything was in slow motion: airbags deploying, car spinning uncontrollably, diet coke moving in a slow wave across the floorboard…
Then silence. What seemed like a silent forever. Zero sound.
And then suddenly I was being sucked in reverse back through the black hole.
And then there were people yelling. I looked up and my car was inching forward slowly, my foot wasn’t on the brake. My eyes hurt from the powder of the airbags. And there were feathers flying around like I’d had a pillow case fight.
Did I hit a chicken?
People yelling through the window: Are you okay? Stay put. We called 911. No, leave the car. Leaking fluids everywhere.
I got out and made my way to the curb.
I don’t remember seeing any cars when I made the turn. It must have been a blind spot. The lights at eye level in the intersection were covered by trash bags. Tattered trash bags flapping in the breeze and enough to pull your attention away for a brief moment.
One of the officers said that he wasn’t surprised….that it was the most dangerous intersection in Galveston. He said there used to be a “no left turn” sign but businesses complained and the sign eventually came down. The accidents still happen. That kind of makes me a little mad.
One of the police officers offered to take me back to the hotel. He had a ride along. Nothing like getting dropped off at a blogging conference from the back seat of a police car. Only a few hours earlier and woman who had a murder warrant out was sitting in my same seat. It will probably be in the local paper. Thanks Officer McNeill. It’s awesome riding in the back of a police car when you aren’t in any kind of trouble.
Life can shift so quickly:
10:00 am
1:00 pm
I can tell my right arm is jacked, maybe I tried to brace against the impact.
My ears are still ringing.
I can feel my whole body stiffening as the adrenaline leaves.
But I walked away.
I always have a deep gut instinct about things. My mom and grandmother too.
Like the premonition about trying to outrun a tornado. …and then that happened:
Premonitions are supposed to be warnings.
Although I never really seem to heed them.
Because, if I DID heed them:
I’d never leave the house.
I am speaking tomorrow morning at the Blog Elevated Conference here in Galveston, TX about blogging with heart.
I might not be able to turn my head, but my heart still works.
It will all end well.
Praise God.
I was in a t-bone wreck 12 years ago and I remember it clearly. You’re right…it goes in slow motion, then you’re just sucked back into the present. It’s a strange, strange sensation. Praise the Lord you weren’t seriously injured!
I was t-boned and survived with a few bumps and bruises. My van was totalled. Took me awhile to drive again without being scared, but still have issues if I think my husband turns left and there is a car in the vicinity. So glad you are OK. Air bags are great, but my eyes burned too!
Feel better…..you bring so much inspiration to others (and smiles) clearly the “higher powers” knew we needed you. Have a great speech…..and be safe!!
Oh wow! I just pulled out the card you gave me last night and remembered our entire conversation and the dream you told me. And I was like, let me check out her blog! Oh my! I am glad you are OK. Thank God! You are such a great person. Hope to see you later today (hopefully I can get some sleep).
Tosin AK
I think we are warned more often than we realize. So glad you are ok!
I always want to say something to help people when they have a tragic event. I feel the sincere need to help in some way. But I never know the right words. Really, from my heart, I’m glad for husband and your sweet daughter that you weren’t hurt worse in that accident. I’m Amazed at your intuition. I pray that you’ll feel well enough to get through the conference and make it home safely to the arms of your loved ones.
Wow. That’s crazy. I sure didn’t see it coming. I’m so glad you’re okay and I hope your arm is okay.
Whoa! Glad you are ok. Premonitions are crazy.
((((((Ashley)))))
Glad you are ok and are feeling well enough to blog about it 🙂
Praying for you as you finish up healing…both physically and mentally
XOXOXOX
KDB
Talk about blogging with heart! Praise God indeed! So glad you are safe! And I always find it amazing how we are given warnings if we pay attention. I hope you’re recovering okay and aren’t too badly hurt.
I love my dreamworld. It tells me soooooo much. I have a cyst by one of my shoulders and when I found it, I started worrying that it might be a huge tumor. In a dream, two ladies were looking it over and reassuring me that it was okay. It was soft and able to move around which means it’s okay. They moved it and showed me. I felt better in morning when I woke up. I went to the doc to get it checked and I was so surprised to hear him say and do the same thing as the two women!!! What a relief and how neat he said the same thing. I was so grateful it wasn’t anything more and said a prayer of thanks.
I loved this post…and your raw self as the plane was landing! I was so nervous as I was reading it even though I knew you were okay since you were writing the post. And I thought, wow, someone else who would think of pee before dying! And the way you described the slow motion thing when the car crashed…I was in a shooting and it was the same! It was all so so fast but yet so slow. I was like really? Is this how I’m going? Then I got upset and was like, no, I’m a mom, I’ve got s**t to do!!!
You are awesome Ashley! Please do take it easy though. Your body has been through so much…and take care of yourself all the way around.
One more thing…thanks for note about PD! My son is adjusting to life there and seems to be doing just fine. 🙂 you’re right, “small with big things!”
I was supposed to be there. I bought my ticket and reserved my room months ago; and then, my husband had a surgery scheduled. We couldn’t get another date and the surgery was (obviously) important, so I asked the lovely conference directors to give away my ticket to someone. Then, my husband’s surgery was cancelled because his white blood cell count was too high.
I didn’t know you would be there and I’ve been stalking your blog a bit via Feedly since one of my readers told me that our story to “faithsize” reminded them of your similar choice.
I hate to have missed your talk.
I don’t believe in coincidence or luck, but I do believe in a Sovereign God who shares His insight when and how He determines. I’m thrilled there were “angels watching over you” and God provided for your safety.
I was in the audience at Blog Elevated and you were awesome…even with a jacked arm and ever so slightly stiff neck. It was my favorite session of the conference. Thank you so much for sharing yourself with us.
I am so so glad that you are ok! I was scanning the twitter feed during the conference and my jaw literally hit the floor when I saw your post. I can not even imagine. It was nice to meet you and again.. so glad you are ok!
Wow, that’s really scary. I agree, that’s wrong that they took down the sign and wrecks still happen. My husband got hit by a car on his bike about a month ago and tumbled over the hood and landed on his face. The lady that hit him stopped, asked if he was okay, didn’t wait for his answer, got in her car and took off. His bike was not hurt at all. He was banged up, tooth knocked loose, face busted, knee hurt, finger was sideways (he just grabbed it and moved it back in place-yuck!). Doctor and dentist visits proved he came out of it really well considering…glad you weren’t seriously injured either. He ended up riding in the Hotter than Hell ride a few days later and did the 150 mile bike MS ride (in my honor-I have MS) a week after that so he’s doing great! It’s scary to have something like that happen so fast!
I have been reading about angels lately and how they are sent to protect us. Messages from our guardian angels often come in our dreams and the feathers you saw were also from your angels telling you that they are there and that you would be OK. I am on a journey with my faith at the moment and I think I needed to hear your story to confirm all that I am learning. Amazing isn’t it! God is using us without us even know it. Sorry it was your trama and pain that gave me peace though…..I hope you feel better soon.