As I’m trying to type this my dog Max keeps nudging his nose under my arm to try and fit himself in the little nook my arms create against the laptop keyboard. He’s relentless. A small wave of anxiety goes through me that I haven’t been productive this morning.
What’s productive?
I have tried so hard my entire life to do the right thing. School, MBA, Career. And each time I got to a certain point, that tipping point where maybe we would never have had to ever worry about making a living, I walked away.
I could have had it all.
But “all” comes with too much baggage.
I’m not cut out for it all.
I like living a small, quiet life.
Boo’s school is getting bees soon, so that they can learn about beekeeping. I want to learn about bees too.
I want to grow old with books, chickens, and farmers markets.
I want commercials and billboards selling that to me instead of everything else.
It would make it a whole lot easier.
Instead I have to cut my own way out.
Which I think is probably the point of living.
(And sometimes I can’t even write in complete sentences.)
me says
I love that quote.
Dori says
Ditto. Your’re my hero!
Christa says
You do have ” it all” now.. Now when your heart is happy and at peace. That, is truly having it all. I’m so glad you found it and that you had the courage to live it. The true sadness in the world is that people rarely do, and instead fill their lives with “stuff” to fill that void.
glennen says
You are inspirational. Thanks so much for sharing with us.
tammy says
I am curious how family handled your decision to move away? It can be so emotional for all. When my stepdaughter moved to AZ from Cali we were devastated. Everything turned out fine though. Our visits and face time make it all the more special.
Marty Morris says
Living in the present isn’t easy but it sure makes things more clear. After all isn’t that all we are guaranteed? Leaving the past behind and not worrying about the future, that is the life to live. I think you are doing that. Thanks for sharing your life.
beckylp says
you are going to enjoy learning about the bees and I assume producing your own honey. You do have it all and you are blessed that you know it
Karen Hill says
You do have it all because you have realized that what society and the natural man herald as important really matter not at all. Your inner divinity has revealed that which is of greatest importance, your family, service, and your relationship with your Heavenly Father. You truly have all of what matters most.
AnnW says
You had it all and realized that it wasn’t worth it. Then you got cancer. Then you started your dress business, then you moved away from most of what you knew. NOW, you have it all. Stop worrying and read Mr Money Mustache’s blog. He gets down to basics about what is needed in life. You….are one of my heroes. Keep moving, that’s all.
Cheryl @ The Creative Me and My McG says
Life’s journey seldom takes you down a smooth road…instead it’s the bumps and bends that offer the most to our lives. YOU need to be where you are the happiest…no explanations necessary. Congrats on having the guts to live the life that is right for you!!
Carly A. Heitlinger says
Sounds like you do have it all 🙂
Bettyann Waller says
Hmmm…I understand those feelings. It is harder to live a good and small life. I struggle to believe that my life is good so thank you for your inspiring post. Take care..