I don’t even remember what it was like B.T. (before texting)
Some context/translation:
1. Our gardener confiscated the key to the sprinkler box. I couldn’t turn off the sprinklers yesterday afternoon. The sprinklers soaked our Daisy girl scout troop and resulted in chaos. I was very annoyed at the gardener. Why did the gardener take the key?? Because he was very annoyed at Mr. LBB for messing with his (our) sprinkler irrigation schedule. To prevent annoying the gardener anymore, and mitigate the risk of him being fired, Mr. LBB hired an additional gardener today to secretly take care of the crabgrass situation. It all sounds so dysfunctional now that I wrote it down…but really it’s perfectly normal around here.
2. Fred is the fish Boo won at the Halloween carnival at school. He was expected to live one week. I did not want a fish (just like I didn’t want a lizard)*. He’s doubled in size over the last 4 months. I think Mr. LBB got sick of changing the water in the bowl every 2 days and as of today we have a new filtered fish tank….and bamboo for “extra oxygenation.” Oh, and an additional goldfish because I felt like he might be lonely. Boo named the new fish Smokey. Smokey is a nutcase…..pick me! pick me! pick me! Poor Fred looks miserable.
3. If I wasn’t bringing dinner home, we would have resorted to eating ice cream and pretzel crisps for dinner…..or pizza rolls for the 3rd night in a row. I thought it might be time to go grocery shopping.
4. “Sweet” = “I’m ecstatic”
P.S. Boo let “Fred” the gecko go a few weeks after she caught him last year. I see him periodically by the sliding door where we let him go….at least I like to think it’s him. While contemplating the potential “escape” of Boo’s gecko night after night, at one point I suddenly had the sinking feeling that maybe my turtle Magnolia didn’t actually “escape” when I was 6 years old like my parents said she did. The only reason Fred the goldfish hasn’t “escaped” is because I read this article.
P.P.S. And then somehow I stumbled upon this article about a disabled goldfish outfitted with a sling to help her swim. I think I reached the end of the Internet… but at least it’s a heartwarming end: