Isn’t this beautiful? I went on a walk with my mom this morning to get some Vitamin D.  I think all that juicing gave me a burst of energy.  Almost to the top of the mountain is a large metal cross….and it’s lit up every night so you can see it for miles. My friend Mollie hikes to the top and leaves Choose Joy bracelets…..she sends me texts when she is up at the top…..I need binoculars so that I can wave to her. The Choose Joy bracelets disappear when she leaves them. I love that. I’ll be back up there some day soon leaving my own bracelets for others to take.

The last time I walked around our neighborhood I was trying to stretch out my ligaments……not knowing that the pain was a tumor growing through my uterus. I thought I was pregnant and I’d sneak a glance of my growing belly in the windows of the stores on El Paseo.  I remember thinking that my belly was growing much faster than I thought it should. It took so much effort to get out of bed and even to sit up straight in a chair. Walking seemed to make it feel a bit better…..so I’d force myself to walk every morning.  Eventually we’d learn that there was no baby…..and I’d get painkillers to help me through the day.  I would have never believed that I would have an hysterectomy or be diagnosed with cancer. Of course I also thought my dad would live to be 104 years old….and why not, his grandmother lived to be 104…..and she was the checker champion at her nursing home too. Never in a million years. I truly thought I was invincible. Funny how God can humble you in a second.

I was sitting in chemo the other day and a young woman was there for her first time and I was overhearing her anxiety. I kind of sat in my own little world for a bit thinking that I didn’t have the energy to talk to anyone at that moment….with my blinders on. I looked over across the room and she looked kind of hesitantly at me, like maybe I wasn’t so friendly, and that’s all it took for me to give her a huge smile back. That’s all it takes.  Just a smile…..and then a “how are you?” It’s not that hard.  Make eye contact. Be friendly. Smile. Spread joy.

Give a cancer cell an inch…..it will take a mile. My HCG levels were at 78 this week……up from 37 last week. Yuck. I had my time off from chemo treatment and they decided they’d take advantage. It makes me feel better that we’ve switched to a more aggressive treatment though……and that Dr. L is going to be making them more frequent. That means less time for the cancer cells to take advantage of any break time.

I had another day of chemotherapy today. I felt nauseous all morning but I turned a corner about 1pm. I had a great night last night. I watched a few Lifetime movies that I had recorded and fell asleep watching. The last time around I barely slept at all after the large bag of Methotrexate…and ended sleeping on the couch so I could stick my feet under the couch cushions. I learned a trick for restless legs…..slather legs and feet with lotion……peppermint if you can find it. My hubby does it for his RLS too and it works.

Here’s one thing I’ve learned recently…..if you get cancer…..everyone likes to start imposing new rules on you:

Me: I think I’ll just add some Splenda to this.
Lisa: Splenda causes cancer.
Me: I already have cancer.

I love this photo my friend Mollie sent me. It’s Adrien Brody and a Choose Joy bracelet.

Not much else new today. Praying for a good night of sleep and then I’ll wake up to a great new day tomorrow!