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120 Donuts

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My last update I managed to fit the words “laxative, beer bong, Grecian and Team Edward” all into one post and it all made sense. This time it’s: maxi pad, maternity jeans, mathematical equation and donuts.

I had my chemo this morning at 8:30 am. Just a half pound of weight lost….I thought for SURE I’d gain weight after Thanksgiving. My butt is so flat and sad looking saying “feed me, puhllleeeaseee!” I reply: “I’m trying! But they can’t fit donuts in IVs!”

Lisa is sick with a bad cold so we are wearing masks around here today. My mask is from the Lucy Curci Center and is lightweight and comfortable….Lisa’s mask is from an apocalyptic nuclear war emergency kit, seriously. I kept laughing because her mask was so thick and she kept saying,”I feel like I’m wearing a maxi pad on my face!!!”

I worked my little tushie off this morning because I had some energy and I knew the chemo would kick in by afternoon. It felt really good to work for a while. This weekend Brett and our friend Chris and his son carpeted the outdoor studio. I really, really wanted to dig in and organize some things but didn’t quite have the energy.

 

Every little thing that has been sent in the mail has been so appreciated. I hope many of you won’t mind if I share them with others who need some joy and encouragement. I don’t need one material thing. But the kindness and generosity you’ve shown me has given me the opportunity to share with others and I thank you for that from the bottom of my heart.

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I do want to share one delivery that will make you laugh. After returning from Thanksgiving, we found 10 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts had been hand delivered to our front door…..personally delivered by CEO Jim Morgan. The king of donuts?!? At my front door?!? And I wasn’t here?!? My dad knew so many wonderful people and Jim is one of them. My dad’s legacy pops up in some way every single day…..even through donuts.  Minus the dozen we ate ourselves, we had fun hand delivering the rest of the donuts to friends and family and neighbors. If I wasn’t going through chemo though I can guarantee you I would have eaten an entire box myself.

Highlight of my day? Wearing jeans! The chemo makes my skin so sensitive that it makes it impossible to wear normal pants/jeans with my huge incision so I ordered a pair of Gap Maternity jeans. The butt needs to be taken in just a bit but they rock. The huge elastic maternity band covers my scar perfectly and I can tolerate it. So I might need a few more pairs to tide me over the next few months!

My levels continue to go down. I did a mathematical equation and the way the numbers have been it looks like I’ll be doing chemo into March. Maybe next week will be a huge drop and it will change my calculation.

Before I sign off tonight….I’m so moved and inspired by a woman named Jenny Swett. She found out in 2009 that she had breast cancer and then it spread to her liver, her brain and her bones. Jenny is undergoing additional radiation soon and once that is done she’ll start hospice. She is such a pillar of strength for me. I pray every night for a miracle for her and her family and hope you will too. We were introduced by her mother online and I know we were meant to be friends. You can read her and her mother Debby’s updates here.

“I have to say though, I’m not scared. I’m really, not. I feel like I was chosen to live this and I honestly look at it that I was given a gift to learn what most people learn in half the time, if at all. It was also a gift to be given this time to learn to live in the moment and accept life for what it is. The thing is, we make it so complicated. Life is simple, it really is.”

–Jenny Swett

 

Life IS simple, it really is. Thank you Jenny.

So Much to be Thankful For…..

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We are at my sister-in-law’s house today for Thanksgiving. It’s Jenn’s first time hosting the entire family for Thanksgiving and she’s done the most amazing job. Jenn (or “TT” as we all lovingly call her…..her nickname was “tattletale” when she was younger). Boo is well on her way to being “mini TT.”

Boo helped me with the place cards this morning (TT got the printables from Over the Big Moon):

 

We’ve all been adding things to the “thankful” tree:

 

The house and tables are all so beautifully decorated…..I hope I don’t have to host anytime soon because this would be hard to top : )

 

 

I want to sit at the kid’s table….why don’t the adults get crayons?

 

 

TT used “The Perfect Turkey” recipe….doesn’t it look perfect?

 

 

We still have an hour or so before we eat so everyone is resting and the kids are playing outside in the amazing weather. We have six cousins under the age of 5 and they are just in heaven playing together! We have a huge blended family and I just think it’s amazing that we have friends, ex husbands, step-siblings etc that all show up to every holiday and everyone gets along so well. The house is filled with laughter and fun. I’m sitting in the living room surrounded by napping adults…..writing this post while listening to the fun banter from the kitchen…..my hubby just got “fired” from helping because he was too messy. Life is good.

 

There is so much to be thankful for.

It’s been a month and three days since my surgery and start of chemotherapy and I’m thankful for every day since.

I’m so thankful to be here today.

I’m so thankful for my sweet daughter and loving husband.

I’m so thankful for all of my wonderful family.

I’m so thankful for my wonderful friends who have helped us out so amazingly and without hesitation over the last month.

I’m thankful that my father passed away peacefully this year and that my mother is such an incredibly strong woman of faith.

I’m so thankful for wonderful doctors and a doting father-in-law who are helping me get better everyday.

I’m so thankful for all of you. I have so many wonderful online friends that I’ve become so close to over the last 2 years.

I’m so thankful for the most wonderful, loyal and hardest working assistant ever: Lisa. I’d wither away without her.

I’m thankful for all my other Lil Blue Boo employees and helpers: Gicela, Dawn, Mariela, Irizima and Carolyn.

I’m thankful for Cole’s progress……getting just a little better each day.

I’m so thankful for health, a roof over our heads, and food on the table.

I’m thankful for the little things.

I’m thankful for spandex.

I could go on and on and on…..


I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your families today. I pray for anyone who is having a hard time today and needs uplifting. I pray for everyone to have tons and tons to be thankful for.

Love and thankfulness to all of you!

XOXO,

Ashley

Project Recovery: The Nitty Gritty

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So today was my fifth round of chemo. It was Brett’s turn to take me. I kept Boo home from school because she has the worst cough and allergies mixed in….so Gicela came in early to work to watch her.

Lots of good news today:
:: My levels went down again. 2648 (from 3416 last week). Still a long way to go but it’s going in the right direction. I keep joking that I should start a “pool” so people can guess what the levels will be the following week…..so put a guess out there….chemo can be fun you know. I was bored while resting today and made this super nerdy, yet informative chart:

 

HCG LEVELS

(A friend asked if I’ve worked out the mathematical equation yet….the answer’s yes. I loved statistics.)

:: I didn’t lose any additional weight. I’ve been able to eat some really random foods and my quinoa/lemon/almond mixture is still the most palatable thing for me oddly enough. I refuse to have my butt photographed anymore…..so here’s a random smiling photo from the infusion center at Lucy Curci right after my blood was drawn.

Chemotherapy at Lucy Curci

Here’s the nitty gritty:

:: I’m getting my chemotherapy (methotrexate) by an intramuscular shot.  Since I’ve lost so much weight and kind of have a small frame anyways I’ve learned that I can ask for the “kid size” needles so I don’t have to get the thick long scary needles.

:: Each week I feel like the chemo gets a little harder. I feel fine sometimes and then I get up and start to jump into a normal routine and all the sudden a wave of exhaustion and nausea hit me. I find myself out of breath with the tiniest of tasks….so much so that people are always asking if I’m okay. I lean on walls and hold onto furniture while I’m chatting to someone. I guess it just takes a lot out of you. I just feel REALLY old all the sudden.

:: Miralax is the bomb. I buy the generic version…..because seriously, who wants to spend their hard earned money on laxatives.  Constipation after a hysterectomy can make everything more painful. Here’s what no one tells you….when they cut your stomach muscles open you can’t use them to go to the bathroom for a while.

:: Okay….so Boost, Slim Fast, Ensure…..ice cream….none of those worked for my appetite. Honestly, I would need a beer bong to get them down quick enough so I wouldn’t gag. I don’t throw up….but I dry heave……it’s my “false alarm” that tells me to go and lay down. I have found that if I lay down while I eat….and just pick at the food over the course of an hour I can get it down….whatever works.

:: I still only wear spandex…..so I ordered a small pair of GAP maternity jeans so I can get back to wearing my wardrobe staple.  The chemo makes my skin super sensitive and my incision gives me the heebie jeebies to touch  so what better than jeans with spandex on top.

The only frustrating thing for me right now is that the chemotherapy is hampering my recovery from the emergency hysterectomy and surgery. When I had my c-section with Boo I was driving 10 days later and back to the gym after a month and running again after 6 weeks. That was a piece of cake. I guess when they cut you open from above to bellybutton to the va-jay-jay it’s a little harder on your body. Today I was super exhausted and watched Toy Story 3 with Boo FOUR times. I’m glad it’s a cute movie. I sorted through fabric samples on the floor……fabric = happiness. This weekend Lisa picked me up to see Breaking Dawn with our friend Jackie…..it was awesome. I’m an Edward fan. And Bella looked so pretty.

Picking out fabric samples

 

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