Chemo was this morning. Gale (my MIL) took me so Brett could take Boo to school and keep her morning routine normal. Barry (my FIL) also meets us there. I feel like I have an entourage….and they rock. The good news: my levels went down from last week’s 5066 to 3416. It looks like they are dropping by a 1/3 every week.

I lost 3 more pounds since last week. I felt like I was finally eating more but it doesn’t seem to be helping me out yet. Can I get an IV of butter?

This sums up my morning:

The nurse walked in with the needles today and I freaked out….they were the longest and widest needles ever….like the ones they used in the hospital and I said “NO way are you getting those near me!”  Seriously, they looked like horse needles. I thought they would go straight through me to the other side. The only good news about losing so much weight is that they can use the kids needles on me…..my butt is starting to look concave. The nurse went back and changed out the needles to the kid-sized. It was worth the hissy fit I threw. They let me choose to lay down or stand up for shots. I think standing up is easier.  All my blood tests show my liver is doing great and blood counts are perfect. I’m just looking a little sleepy, maybe it’s my slippers I wore into the office. My eyes really aren’t that dark…..my sister-in-law Carolyn brought me some new eyeliner….liquid eyeliner. I’ve never used it before. I felt a little like I was drawing with a Sharpie this morning…..I’m not sophisticated enough for liquid eyeliner yet.

So how do I feel overall? I feel really positive. I’ve been super happy and I’m just glad to be here.  I can’t wait until my body can keep up with what I want to do again. Boo, Brett and Diesel are doing really great. Boo’s been bubbly.

A few physical things I’ve noticed recently:

:: My incision gets better and better each day. I’m totally used to my belly button being an inch off center now. I’m glad my doctors get my sense of humor because I mention that every time they ask how I’m doing.

:: They said my hair wasn’t supposed to fall out…..but I’ve been losing a ton of it…..about 10 or 20 strands at a time. It’s everywhere. As long as it isn’t coming out in clumps I think it probably has to do with how high my HCG (pregnancy hormone) levels were. I feel bad that everyone finds it all over the place.

:: My right arm must be where the majority of my blood transfusions were done in surgery. I have a few hardened veins that are pretty painful. I was worried at first that they were blood clots and might travel but my father-in-law said the clots won’t move and there is probably some scar tissue. It should go away over the next few months. As long as they aren’t clots that move around I can deal with that.

:: I just realized…..my uterus is gone….does that mean no more periods? But it kind of freaks me out that my va-jay-jay has an end to it now…..apparently they sew it closed where the cervix was before. Gross and double gross. That’s the last time I’ll mention that.

:: I’m still wearing spandex pants and no underwear. My abdomen is still super tender and I walk with a slight hunch. I’m forcing myself into a walking regimen to start re-strengthening my stomach muscles.

:: I caught the worst cold which hasn’t helped the no appetite thing. Have you ever not had the strength to cough or sneeze?  My stomach muscles aren’t even strong enough to blow my nose! Lisa said she’d get me one of those baby suction things….um, no thanks.

My friend Monique made us a dish that had spinach, quinoa and almonds in it……it was the first thing I was able to eat more of a cup of in a few weeks. I’ve recreated it for several meals now….I don’t know why I’m able to get this down and not much else. It doesn’t even sound that appetizing to write about but I eat every bite. I steam almonds and broccoli and mix it with quinoa. Then I add fresh squeezed lemon juice…….a serious amount of it….like 3 lemons worth. Brett tried it and almost gagged. It works.

The fresh lemons will hopefully help me get over this cold soon. My mom put notes on the doors for shoe removal and hand washing reminders but I guess we can’t keep all the germs out….but we try. Everyone knows what to do now, even Boo. Things overheard recently at our house:

Boo: Make sure you use hand sanitizer before coming into my room. It’s sitting on my table by the door.

Me: I’m not feeling so hot today.
Boo: You must have forgotten to use hand sanitizer.

Boo: Would anyone like some hand sanitizer?

I’m very behind on email. So many of you have sent personal stories and links for me to check out etc. I just want you to know that I have every email saved and I’ve read them all…..I just want to send a meaningful reply and that’s why it takes me so long to respond. I’m trying my hardest to get through them all one by one.  One day at a time right?