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How to Catch A Kangaroo

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I’m obviously easily amused. I don’t know why this made me laugh so hard…..but, because it did, I have to share. Spoiler alert: Notice that the kangaroo just “falls” into the bag. And then I laugh hysterically at the fact that he’s laying upside down with his tail sticking out.

 

I was at the doctor yesterday describing how I’d passed out the other day and I used this as an example: I collapsed, you know, like when Jake Sully gets unplugged and his avatar body collapses in front of the Na’vi. I got a blank stare. The Na’vi, the indigenous people of Pandora? Blank stare. I guess you didn’t see the movie…. I’ve got an echo on Monday and more blood work and then hopefully I get a break from doctor appointments for a while. 

So glad it’s Saturday. I woke up early (or what I thought was early) and Boo immediately said: I ate the last cinnamon roll. You should have woken up earlier. She’s right. The cinnamon roll was fair game. Mr. LBB had to work early this morning. He had the chance to eat the last cinnamon roll but he didn’t. Boo played quietly and got dressed by herself, letting me sleep in as a peace offering.

So, we are going to Seattle soon for some much needed vacation.  What should we do while we are there?

 

 

 

Lisbeth Saaaahl-Laaaahnder

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In college I went 4 months straight eating a mixture of 1 part plain yogurt with 1 part Grapenuts cereal. And it had to be the right ratio. And the Grapenuts had to be added periodically because I have a standard of deviation for sogginess.  After 4 months I never ate it again. Ever. I eat other cereals though and I still pay attention to sogginess.  I’ll pour a bowl of milk and then add a few Apple Jacks at a time.  I’m such a creature of habit. Excess habit. That’s a nicer way of saying OCD. If I find something I like I’ll eat it over and over and over until one day something new comes along.

One thing that I will never eat willfully: plain sandwich bread.  I’m not talking about dinner bread…..I’m talking like a loaf of sandwich bread.  Unless it’s covered in peanut butter and jelly.  But now I can’t eat peanut butter because my mom says it’s full of bacteria. Yesterday the refrigerator was down to a bare minimum and I was so desperate that I ate some Soybutter.  It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It only took me 2 years to try it. (This is why I can’t make Boo try stuff she insists she doesn’t like…..because I won’t.) Oh yeah, back to the sandwich bread…..just the smell of it makes me nauseous. It smells like fish bait to me. Probably because when I was little we used to ball up little pieces of sandwich bread to catch fish.  It reminds me of ducks too…..for the same reason. Not that we tried to catch ducks with hooks.  Who would want to catch a duck? And in conclusion, the bread also reminds me of investment banking because everyone knows that if you split a loaf of bread apart you can sell the slices for more than the entire loaf but you have to factor in the costs of separation too. 

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If a Tree Falls in the Forest….

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The back of my head is bruised…so is my chin, lip and shoulder:

 

I have this pinched nerve in my upper back and last night about 2am I went to get some ice water in the kitchen. The last thing I remember is leaning on the counter to catch my breath (because it’s really hard work walking from the bedroom to the kitchen, right?)…….and next thing I knew I woke up on the floor.

What the heck? I decided to sleep on the floor? When was that a good idea…..

And….. for a second….. I thought about just going back to sleep…… on the floor. Then I spent 10 minutes trying to get OFF the floor…..because a pinched nerve automatically makes you an invalid. Then I went back to bed like nothing happened.

Mr. LBB woke up around 6:30am and said “Want to go to Keedy’s for breakfast?”

Me: Sure. But could you tell me how bad I look right now?
Mr. LBB: What?!
Me: I think I fell face first into the kitchen counter last night.
Mr. LBB: Do you think you have a concussion?
Me: No. But I wish we had security cameras…..that video would be classic.

……..and I feel like I’m missing another 5 minutes from my life. I wish I’d at least had a few drinks…..it would have made a better story.

In other news….Lisa (the chicken) laid an egg!

I feel like a proud parent.

And this…..

…….is how the universe keeps in balance.

 

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