Life Archives - Page 63 of 92 - Ashley Hackshaw / Lil Blue Boo

The Year in Review

January 1, 2012 by Ashley Hackshaw

I went to bed early last night, and woke up at 8am….I missed bringing in the New Year but I needed the sleep. This morning I have this overwhelming feeling of emotion that 2012 is going to be a most amazing year. It’s the first day of the rest of our lives.

I look back with a little bit of shock that so many life changing events could be wrapped up into 365 days:

My father passed away.
I had a miscarriage.
I was diagnosed with cancer.
A 6-inch tumor invaded straight through my uterus.
I came close to death on an operating table.
My cousin-in-law Cole was in a car wreck and is learning to walk and talk again.
I started more aggressive chemotherapy.

I hear all the time: how much more can your family take? I don’t view it that way. I know I’ve said it many times, but I can choose how to let these things affect my life…..and I choose joy. My dad is in heaven waiting for us, I’m strong and healthy and ready to battle this cancer, the rest of my family is healthy, loving and supportive, we have a roof over our heads and food on the table…..what else could we possibly ask for?! My heart aches for those who are in abusive situations, homeless, hungry etc in this new year…..and I pray for them fervently.

The blog took a big personal turn this year…..and I’m so thankful that you’ve kept following. So much has happened here at Lil Blue Boo and I never could have imagined I’d be so close to so many people I’ve never met in person. You are so supportive and encouraging and thankful…..you provide the positive energy that gets me up in the morning to create, blog and give back.

2011 started out with some of my favorite projects and photo shoots to date….all associated with the Project Run and Play competition. I never turn down a good challenge….so I was completely on board to come up with a new outfit each week:

Early last year, Lisa had just started working full time for Lil Blue Boo. I don’t know what I would have done without her. She’s the glue that has kept Lil Blue Boo running so smoothly: making sure my tutorials are posted right, helping to keep up with email, doing ALL customer service and managing the clothing line. I love her like a sister…..although sometimes she acts like she’s my mother haha. Gicela joined the team to help produce the clothing line. I’m so proud of everything the team has done! Along with countless limited editions, we launched the following lines…..all produced in-house…100% handmade this past year:

What the Folk (2011 Spring)
LBB Nautical (2011 Summer)
Boom Town I (2011 Fall)
Boom Town II (2011 Fall)

No idea how, but I managed to publish six new patterns this year:

The Pieced Tunic
The Maliboo Romper
The Perfect Short
The Casbah Carryall
The Reversible Bubble Hoodie
The Sweet Aline

I started writing daily for Babble.com’s The New Home Ec…..it’s been a huge workload….but one that I’ve enjoyed because it’s forced me to leave my comfort zone of writing!

I started a few new personal series: Photo of the Day, Boo Style, My Li’l List

And a few ongoing series were started:

I put together ONE HUNDRED AND FOUR tutorials and downloads for the blog in the last 365 days…..that’s an average of 1 tutorial every 3.5 days (you know I love statistics):

A few of my very favorite tutorials from 2011 include:

Ombre Dyed Streamer Garland
Box o’ Princesses and Boyville
Hand Stamped Leggings
The Knit Headband Pattern
The Cascading Ruffle Skirt
The Travel Map Bulletin Board
A Wine Cork Sculpture
Vinyl Tablecloth Rollup Diaper Changer
Folk Art Spin-spiration
A Wine Barrel Lazy Susan
Bohemian Leather Button Cuff
Doodle Shoes

With your help Lil Blue Boo was able to give back this year too!

Your support of Lil Blue Boo allowed us to mail out clothing care packages to over 20 families for Christmas this year.
Your votes helped me raise $5,000 for Shelter for the Storm by winning the Babble.com Mominations.
We collected over 300 pairs of handmade bobby socks and 100 bows for the children at Three Angel’s Haiti.
You bought $1,365 worth of patterns to help the efforts in Japan.
You donated yards and yards of fabrics, notions and patterns for the children at Three Angel’s Haiti to use in their sewing classes.
You helped me raise $200 for the Liz Logelin Foundation by purchasing Valentine’s dresses.

Amazing. Thank you.

So how will I approach this next year? The same as I did last year: day by day. I never try to plan too far ahead…..I make “bucket lists” of things I want to do and accomplish but I don’t put a timeline out there. The best I can do is try to get through today….and enjoy every minute of it whether I’m sitting in an infusion center getting chemotherapy or spending the day with the family finishing a fun project. I know I freak a lot of people out by walking into my doctor’s office excited to be there…..but I am. I’m happy to just be here on earth for a short while or a long while…..I’d prefer the long while but you never know so I try to live like it’s a short while. I don’t know what God has in store for me and for you this year but I know he has a great plan. Bring it!

Oh….and most importantly:

Holy Joint Pain, Batman

December 30, 2011 by Ashley Hackshaw

New today: joint and nerve pain.

I finally got some sleep last night……after I finished reading my new book (that might be the fastest I’ve ever read a book in my life). I was thinking that the recent Neulesta shot was no big deal and I made it through with no side effects…….but then this morning I woke up feeling like I got hit by a truck. It’s mostly joint pain in the thigh, hip and lower back……but the most surprising is the jaw pain. I went to take a bite of a cake donut and the pain radiates from my teeth all the way out to my ears. I’ve never felt anything like it. I took some Tylenol and my mom picked up some Claritin which was recommended to alleviate some of the pain.

But…..a little pain never kept me from eating a donut.

The Nuelesta shot stimulates the growth of “healthy” white blood cells so I imagine the pain is from my white blood cell factory working overtime….so it’s not a bad thing:

I held my morning meeting with Lisa from bed and showed her a new “when I grow up” dress I want them to make today……something super bright and cheery. I want Brett to take me to L.A. next week so I can pick out some new fabrics that I need to round out our Spring line coming at the end of February.

I think the most exhausting thing for me right now is insurance companies and medical bills. When you don’t feel well, the last thing on your mind is opening up an envelope and writing a check. The worst feeling is getting a letter in the mail saying that they decided not to cover something and then you have to go through the appeal process and pray they cover it. And then there are all the phone calls trying to get payment plans set up…..it makes my head hurt. I haven’t even balanced my checkbook in 3 months….how on earth can I figure out a payment plan that makes sense?

Oh, last night all I could feel was my scalp and hair! It feels like little tight ponytails. I told Boo I was thinking about cutting my hair again and she was really upset.

My mother changed her flight to mid-January so she’s staying another week to help out with Boo. I’m so thankful. She’s been such a huge help already. She took Boo to the desert zoo yesterday and Boo is her kindred spirit because my mom likes to read every single plaque of information at each exhibit and Boo loves that. They were both full of new information last night at dinner. If I feel well enough next week we might make the 2 hours drive to the San Diego Zoo. My mom helped Boo write some Christmas thank you notes last night too…..she writes out the present and the names and Boo copies them onto the thank you card:. It was so sweet to see how excited Boo was to write and send mail to everyone:

Lisa and Brett have been moving the office to it’s new location. It’s going to be pretty awesome once we get to paint and decorate….my in-laws gave us a hand-me-down chandelier that will add some “shabby chic.” Right now they are just clearing out the old office so it can become a writing room / playroom. We need a place for the 3 foot Barbie dream house and Boo’s kitchen. With the girls out of school they’ve been making great use of the new space and had their OWN morning meeting…..I imagine one day these two girls will take over:

Photo of the Day: Note to Self

December 28, 2011 by Ashley Hackshaw

I went in for my Neulesta shot today and I shouldn’t have worn this shirt. In order to give me a shot in the arm I would have had to strip. Note to self, don’t wear a tight shirt that has thumb holes on shot day.

So…..they gave me the shot in the stomach……right next to my now-off-center bellybutton. I told the nurse her hands were going to be on the internet….it looks like she’s doing an extra careful job with this shot. I’m going to use that to my advantage from this point forward.

The nurse was trying to convince an elderly woman sitting across from me to get her shot in her stomach too. She was adamant against it…..so I told her I’d go first and she could watch. It wasn’t that bad…..but it didn’t work…..I think she would have fought them to the bitter end.

My white blood cell counts are really good right now….(6,800 and anything between 4,100 and 10,900 is normal) so it looks like they’ll be able to hit me with another round of chemo in another week. The sooner the better personally.