Diagnosis: Choriocarcinoma. I had new scans yesterday and this afternoon my family and I met with Dr. L, my new oncologist.  The scans show that some spots that were previously on my lungs have gotten smaller but a few new ones have shown up. There’s also a new 4cm tumor in my pelvis area (near where the old one was that was removed with my hysterectomy). The area on my liver hasn’t changed.

Dr. L wants me to start on a much more aggressive chemo regimen known as EMA/CO as soon as possible.  I’m also doing a PET scan this week so they can try to get some more information about my liver. Dr. L is certain that my cancer is Choriocarcinoma and I’m stage 4 Gestational Trophoblastic Disease….the good news is that the rate is about 80 to 90% survival as long as it’s treated early enough. There will be a plan of attack by the beginning of next week. I’ll count my blessings: I have a treatable form of cancer and I have friends and family to rely on throughout!

Boo made me a “shot” advent calendar last night: Mommy, every time you have to go and get a shot you cut one of these strips off with scissors okay? I’ll just tape this to the back of your door.

I love her little tired smile:

A quick note to my friends and family: I will not be sending Christmas cards this year. Ha.

Well, I’m exhausted today….so off to bed. I’m on my 7th week of current chemo and it seems to wipe me out a little more each time. I’m not scared for what lies ahead just a little anxious to get it behind me. Anyways, thanks for reading! Love to you all….

XOXO,

Ash

P.S. We got a HUGE box of CHOOSE JOY bracelets delivered today!

My last update I managed to fit the words “laxative, beer bong, Grecian and Team Edward” all into one post and it all made sense. This time it’s: maxi pad, maternity jeans, mathematical equation and donuts.

I had my chemo this morning at 8:30 am. Just a half pound of weight lost….I thought for SURE I’d gain weight after Thanksgiving. My butt is so flat and sad looking saying “feed me, puhllleeeaseee!” I reply: “I’m trying! But they can’t fit donuts in IVs!”

Lisa is sick with a bad cold so we are wearing masks around here today. My mask is from the Lucy Curci Center and is lightweight and comfortable….Lisa’s mask is from an apocalyptic nuclear war emergency kit, seriously. I kept laughing because her mask was so thick and she kept saying,”I feel like I’m wearing a maxi pad on my face!!!”

I worked my little tushie off this morning because I had some energy and I knew the chemo would kick in by afternoon. It felt really good to work for a while. This weekend Brett and our friend Chris and his son carpeted the outdoor studio. I really, really wanted to dig in and organize some things but didn’t quite have the energy.

Every little thing that has been sent in the mail has been so appreciated. I hope many of you won’t mind if I share them with others who need some joy and encouragement. I don’t need one material thing. But the kindness and generosity you’ve shown me has given me the opportunity to share with others and I thank you for that from the bottom of my heart.

*****

I do want to share one delivery that will make you laugh. After returning from Thanksgiving, we found 10 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts had been hand delivered to our front door…..personally delivered by CEO Jim Morgan. The king of donuts?!? At my front door?!? And I wasn’t here?!? My dad knew so many wonderful people and Jim is one of them. My dad’s legacy pops up in some way every single day…..even through donuts.  Minus the dozen we ate ourselves, we had fun hand delivering the rest of the donuts to friends and family and neighbors. If I wasn’t going through chemo though I can guarantee you I would have eaten an entire box myself.

Highlight of my day? Wearing jeans! The chemo makes my skin so sensitive that it makes it impossible to wear normal pants/jeans with my huge incision so I ordered a pair of Gap Maternity jeans. The butt needs to be taken in just a bit but they rock. The huge elastic maternity band covers my scar perfectly and I can tolerate it. So I might need a few more pairs to tide me over the next few months!

My levels continue to go down. I did a mathematical equation and the way the numbers have been it looks like I’ll be doing chemo into March. Maybe next week will be a huge drop and it will change my calculation.

Before I sign off tonight….I’m so moved and inspired by a woman named Jenny Swett. She found out in 2009 that she had breast cancer and then it spread to her liver, her brain and her bones. Jenny is undergoing additional radiation soon and once that is done she’ll start hospice. She is such a pillar of strength for me. I pray every night for a miracle for her and her family and hope you will too. We were introduced by her mother online and I know we were meant to be friends. You can read her and her mother Debby’s updates here.

“I have to say though, I’m not scared. I’m really, not. I feel like I was chosen to live this and I honestly look at it that I was given a gift to learn what most people learn in half the time, if at all. It was also a gift to be given this time to learn to live in the moment and accept life for what it is. The thing is, we make it so complicated. Life is simple, it really is.”

–Jenny Swett

Life IS simple, it really is. Thank you Jenny.