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Parenting 101

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Whatever works.

Boo rarely responds to her name….especially if she is watching TV. She has selective hearing…..so now to get her attention, instead of calling her name I yell out:

SPACESHIP!!!

or maybe:

KILLER BIRDS!!!

or sometimes:

LOOK OUT!!! FALLING BATMAN!!!


Then there’s an immediate “What did you say Mom?”

And then I respond:

Could you take your dish over to the sink please? Thanks!

 

Boo’s Fashion Tip of the Day: Tool belts compliment dresses
(because you never know when you might need a plastic wrench….at church)


 

Photo of the Day: Brave

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Tonight Mr. LBB and I took Boo to a movie……for the first time. No, our kid isn’t deprived….she’s been to the movies a gazillion times….just with her grandparents. I would just rather watch movies at home. 1. it’s inexpensive and 2. there’s a pause button (I missed the Twilight engagement scene in the movie theater because I had to go to the bathroom!)

We saw Brave. Halfway through:

Boo: I can’t fall asleep Mommy.
Me: Maybe because we’re in a movie theater?

It was a little scary in parts for a young kid I think. We covered Boo’s eyes a few times.  But I loved the message…..and was totally entertained.

Now I can’t stop talking in an Scottish accent: I shall tell you of William Wallace…

….and just found a piece of popcorn in my bra.

 

Celebrity Stalker

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…..or maybe more of a reality TV stalker….

On the road this weekend I found a random Walmart to get some supplies for the conference I was speaking at. As I was checking out, the guy behind me started putting his items on the conveyor belt and we made eye contact.

Me: I know you….
Him: No you don’t…
Me: Yes I do. You are on that auction show…..
Cashier: Who is he?
Me: He’s The Gambler from that auction show.
Him: Storage Wars.
Me: YES! My husband and I LOVE that show!

Then he said jokingly: It’s only the #1 show on cable.

Handing him a Choose Joy bracelet I said “so nice to meet you! I’m sure you get that all the time and it gets old.”

Him: It doesn’t get old.

I left…..trying to act normal….as though I run into reality TV stars multiple times a day. I got to my car and opened the door as slow as I could….maybe he’d be parked in my row? What’s taking them so long to check out!? No sighting.  So finally I drove off.

Then I had a fight with myself:
You are so lame.
The #1 show on cable and you couldn’t just ask for a quick photo?
Is it the #1 show? Oh who really cares, he’s still famous!
Maybe you need medication.
You had him cornered…..he already put his items on the belt.
Why are you shaking!!!!?
You were supposed to meet him….why else would he have picked that checkout lane!?
This isn’t the movie Serendipity.

Back on the main road, I made a u-turn…..and pulled back in the parking lot. It just so happened that he and his wife were just walking out the door to the parking lot right as I drove up. I stopped the car and asked: at the risk of sounding like a crazy stalker (translation: I AM a crazy stalker), can I get a photo with you? He was so nice.  I was overly apologetic. His wife kept walking with their cart….I don’t blame her. Then I told him “I know we were supposed to meet, so I came back.” (Ugh….that’s all you could think of? Lamer than lame.)

Holding up a traffic jam of about 15 cars, I panicked about how I was going to get a good photo.  One car decided to pull around me and the passenger leaned out the window and yelled “LOVE your show!” I gave her my iPhone and asked her to snap a pic……I didn’t think it would be appropriate to whip out the big professional Canon from my bag.

The woman didn’t know how to use an iPhone…..a quick lesson ensued.

Finally:

**snap**

Never been so relieved to hear that sound.

So here’s the photo: Me and Darrell Sheets, aka “The Gambler”, from Storage Wars:

 


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