A year or so ago I got an email from a woman named Erin asking if she could include me in her email updates.  Of course I said yes.  Erin’s 4-year-old daughter was diagnosed with cancer in 2008 and she began sending out emails to keep her family and friends updated. Five years later her daughter is healthy and those email updates still continue.

I look forward to Erin’s emails in my inbox.  We’ve never met in person but I’m thankful for her inspiration and joy.

This is an email I got around last September and I asked her if I could share it at some point when I thought the time was right. Erin said yes.  The time is right:

Hello Friends and Family –

I do not have a J-O-B that mails me a W-2 at tax time.
My occupation is Mom to these 3 crazies.

I do not get a paycheck on the 1st and 15th but,
I did receive a HUGE bonus check this week.
3 different people, at 3 different times, stopped their lives for a moment and gave me and Joe a gift.

The gifts came in different forms – a text message,
a random conversation with a stranger at the soccer field,
a tight hug of gratitude in front of our house:
Stories of Mary’s kindness, Sara’s kindness and Anna’s kindness.

Genuine kindness – when you don’t know that someone is watching. 3 moments in our daughters’ lives that we would not have known happened, unless someone took the time to tell us.
I like that.
I want to do more of that.

My job description is to make sure our daughters are good people. So much is involved with being a “good person.”
Most nights after our girls are asleep,
I replay the moments I could have and should have done differently as their Mom.

This week, I accepted my bonus check with pride.

I work hard.

Not all days are good. Some mornings, I start my day yelling at 1, 2 or all of our girls before I even get out of bed.

Moments of pride like this make not-great-moments like that feel like everything in between was worth the time and effort.

A Good Mom Moment.

If you see or hear a kid do something great…tell their parents.
The world could use more compliments!

-Erin M.

Parenting takes practice. We try and do the best we can, and sometimes we fail, but we can restart again. I want my child to learn that grace, compassion and kindness are richer than fairness. I want her to know that life isn’t going to be easy and I’m not going to shelter her. I look for the small moments where she steps forth in her own humble way. Those are my true bonuses like Erin so eloquently wrote. And when I see that in other people’s children I should let them know…because it feels good to know that you are making small strides and that someone else happened to notice.

It might not seem like it, but you too are making small strides. We all are.  Look for your bonus checks, and share the wealth with others.

Thank you Erin:

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My mom has always said:

The more you own, the more owns you.

I am slowly but surely making my world a little smaller day by day.

I’ve started to part with things I thought I’d hold onto forever.

Simplicity is freedom.

Less is more.

Each thing I own is more weight to carry around. When Mr. LBB and I moved across the country we brought an entire moving van filled to the brim with stuff. And it was just the two of us, plus a 2 pound dog. I can’t believe how much junk we brought with us. Over the last 6 months I’ve been slowly going through each and every cabinet, each and every drawer, every closet and every box. I’ve reduced us to the bare minimum in things like dishes, furniture, gadgets and clothing.  Multiple trips with donations and giving away things to friends and family. And then we held our yard sale and we sold random collections, excess tools, spare electronics….you name it…it’s gone.

Getting rid of things we no longer use helps us find what we have. It also strengthens us emotionally. Releasing old possessions helps us release the past. Old griefs, guilts, grudges, and regrets disappear, enabling us to live more fully in the present.
-from The Tao of Inner Peace

I use a “triage” method for simplifying.  I find an area in the house or garage where I can collect the items to get rid of….separating them from our living space. The area is separated into two sections: the first pile is stuff that definitely has to go, the second pile is full of items I know I should get rid of but I’m still slightly attached too.  Over time I’ve found that the second pile slowly makes its way into the first pile. I think deep down we want simplicity, but we have so many mixed messages around us saying: more, more, more.

And there are still things that I have trouble getting rid of: books, paintings, personal papers. I steer away from electronic storage because I have to be able to touch things. At least it’s slightly organized clutter.

I’ve stopped buying in excess. Where I used to stock up,  I’ve started to buy just when I need something now.

Give us this day our daily bread.

That little prayer has helped me tremendously in my quest to simplify.  Everything is on loan from God: money, talent, time. I would think God would want a good return on his investment.  That makes me think of the man who gave away his Cadillac that I wrote about 2 days ago.  It was just a car sitting in his garage that he never drove until he gave it away to the car washer in an act of generosity and kindness. The joy from that one act just keeps on going as the car washer shares that story with awe and humility.

By making my world smaller I have more room to be faithful in the little things. I am finding joy in becoming increasingly unattached to things.  I once told Lisa: please get rid of some of that stuff in the studio, just don’t tell me what you got rid of. I mean if I don’t notice something’s gone it doesn’t matter right? That’s progress. I’m slowly building up courage to let go of more.  With a smaller world around me there is less anxiety, less fear, less tendency to compare. There is less to lose and more to love.  This is what works for me.

What do you have trouble giving up?

Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you’re not really losing it. You’re just passing it on to someone else.
-Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven

Speaking of simple:

I also write for Babble.  I just finished up a complete guide to planning / organizing 2014 over there using Surface apps and tutorials.  Check it out if you get a chance.

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