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Vulnerability is Liberating

January 12, 2014 by Ashley Hackshaw

I think 2013 could be called the year of vulnerability. For me at least. And I STILL held back. I feel like I’m full of secrets right now. My whole world is shifting right before me. My heart is beating out of my chest sometimes. I’m praying for wisdom on when to share things because my soul is 1 part patience, 5 parts NOW. And on the other side of this screen I’m barely keeping my head above water, it’s like I’m in a tangled web of worldly messes that have to be dealt with. But at the same time I am stepping out in faith. I’m listening for God’s direction. The good news: it will make this year interesting and adventurous.

Vulnerability is risky. It can be scary to lower your defenses and open up your life to others. When you reveal your failures, feelings, frustrations, and fears, you risk rejections, But the benefits are worth the risk. Vulnerability is emotionally liberating. Opening up relieves stress, defuses your fears, and is the first step to freedom.
-Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life

Joy comes from being vulnerable and courageous. Even if everyone else thinks you are nuts, step out of your comfort zone. Courage will build slowly. I promise. I’ve been there. Anyway, what is the worst that could happen? Someone might not approve? Take risks for joy. Sometimes just saying YES can set your whole life into motion.

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. -Proverbs 19:21

A few vulnerable posts from last year:

The Dark Corners

And for about 14 years, from 1992 until around 2006, I didn’t have any limits. At least I didn’t think I did. And I was sent to alcohol counseling by my university, my sorority forced me to attend an outpatient recovery program, I was put on probation by my foreign exchange program in China (only because my friend was “roofied” when we weren’t supposed to be out drinking….not completely my fault right?). How many chances does a gal get? Usually not as many as I’ve gotten….

c. 1996

Big Stuff vs. Small Stuff

Nothing in my life will ever be exactly as I expected. No timing will ever be just right. Sometimes the joy in life can be hard to find. But I can find the good….anything good….and praise it. I choose joy.

The Ghost of Cancer Past

In the quiet humming of a CT machine, I came to the conclusion that God does not cause suffering, but he uses it to reach us.

The Quiet Gift of Grace

Sometimes it’s a relief to be NUTS…..when people think you are crazy it takes away the need for explanation.

The Good Girl

I wanted to be liked….and popular…which I thought meant I had to hide things and keep secrets and say things I didn’t mean. Drinking was like a putty to those little chips…filling in those empty voids.

What Lies Beneath

I like people that aren’t so shiny and perfect. It’s the imperfect parts that make them interesting. And it’s way too hard to try and BE shiny and perfect.

Invest Your Life in Other People

There is one day….in everyone’s life….that will be a halfway point…..the day on which you have less days left to live than you have lived already. And I wonder…..have I passed it already?!

[Read more…]

Choosing Health: The Joy of Energy

January 10, 2014 by Ashley Hackshaw

I want to be healthy so that I have energy. I want to feel good. I used to crash diet, and starve myself, run marathons and tri-atholons….never with the idea of getting healthy. It was always with a goal of having the perfect body. It was like chasing the wind. My mother-in-law used to tell me: it’s not what you are eating, it’s what’s eating you.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness…. -Max Ehrmann, Desiderata

There are always so many new resolutions in January to get healthy or get in shape. I stopped those long, long ago. A heard a guy on the radio yesterday say he’d been in the gym for 10 days straight, and had even forgotten to take the price tags off his gym clothes. That sounds familiar. I used to start out with good intentions, but the problem was I jumped in all crazy. I finally figured out that I needed to just make small changes here and there…otherwise I’d burn out, and quickly.

Me On Exercise: I try to hike as often as possible…with my husband, as a family, or with a friend. It makes the time pass quickly and I tend to push myself a little more. My goal is 4 days a week and it usually ends up being about 2. Sometimes 1. A quick walk around the block is perfect sometimes. Mr. LBB and I both have the 7 minute app. I try to do that at least once a week. One workout fit into 7 minutes. Boo loves it.

Me On Eating: We try to prepare dinner and eat together as a family every night. Not only is it quality time together but we are more aware of what we eat. The preparation changes our orientation to our food. We eat as much raw, living food as possible. As we make small gradual improvements, they stick. I love visiting the farmers market and trying new vegetables from Trader Joe’s and Clark’s. I try to stick to the simplest of preparation so that we avoid MSG, preservatives, and sodium. Food I used to crave seems intolerable now. Boo lights candles at dinner…it’s a celebration of gratitude. I think the food you eat, and how it’s prepared, should be filled with joy.

Love yourself and love your body by choosing health this year over dieting.

There is joy in energy, and energy in joy.

As a family we’ve started to incorporate little things over the last 12 months to make them habits. And it has to be natural and easy, otherwise we will drift off the path. We tried juicing but it just took too much time. It doesn’t mean we failed, we just shifted our focus to work for us. Now we use make smoothies with a hand blender. We all have our different preferences too…this one’s mine:

I switch up ingredients but this is my basic recipe: [Read more…]